Monday, December 16, 2013

Why Mike Leach should be named head coach of Texas.

I was going to do one of those cheap and nasty "coaches who should replace Mack Brown as head coach of the Texas Longhorns," lists. As I started thinking about it, however it seemed a futile endeavor. All the obvious coaches to replace Brown had either been hired away (Chris Petersen, Steve Sarkisian, etc.) or had signed contract extensions that would keep them where they were (Nock Saban).

Then I realized there was only one coach that could replace Mack Brown. One whom it seemed had a manifest destiny to coach the Longhorns. He had coached before in the Lone Star State, and has the right demeanor to coach the most important collegiate football program in the Texas.

After all the spirit of  Texas is that of the rebel, the renegade, the rogue, the...pirate.

There was really only one man who could coach Texas back to the promised land. An exile who's time had finally come to take back what rightfully his, and he would lead the Longhorns back to greatness.

Only one man. Only one choice. If Texas wanted to get back to the top it would have to make the 2014 season The Return of the King.

The Pirate King.

Your next Texas head coach - Mike Leach.

Why Mike Leach? The answers are obvious.

1. He knows Texas.  He was head coach at Texas Tech from 2000-2009. He knows the recruiting lay of the land, and recruits know him. He knows he difference between a quarterback and defensive back, and won't mess in in trying to recruit the former for the position of the latter. Like Mack Brown allegedly tried to do with Johnny Manziel.

2. Texas knows him. In their hearts, every Longhorn knows he's the right man for the job.

3. He has the attitude. Is there any one in college football who more personifies the renegade spirit of the state of Texas other than Mike Leach? Certainly not Nick Saban, who is so tight-in-the-collar that you couldn't even stick a dime between his neck and his shirt.

4. Pullman, Wash. is no place for Leach. Pullman is the Elba to Leach's Napoleon. It a place coaches go when they need to regroup, not to stay and lay down roots. Pullman knows this and accepts it.

5. The whole Adam James thing was so last decade. Half of Texas would've shoved Adam James into that electrical shed, even if he really did have a concussion. The other half would like to lock Craig James into that same shed.

6. Imagine Mike Leach on the Longhorn Network. Imagine the programming possibilities. "Longhorn Weekly with Mike Leach." "Game Plan with Mike Leach." "Cooking for Fat Little Girlfriends." "Mike Leach Talks About Football, Pirates, whatever the Heck He Wants." The possibilities are endless.

Truly, Texas fans, you want, nay, you need Mike Leach to coach Texas. You must do all within your power to make it so.

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