Sunday, July 28, 2013

Just what was Johnny Manziel doing in Austin, Tx. this weekend anyway?

 Johnny Manziel's Life is Just Better Than Yours

Johnny Manziel in a Tebow jersey, Deal with it. Via Deadspin.

Now that Johnny Manziel finished his conquest of  the Internet this weekend, it has become time to answer the question everyone still wants to know: Why exactly was Johnny Football doing at those frat parties in Austin Texas, this weekend? The ten best possible answers:

10.Black Sabbath was in Austin on Saturday night. Nuff said.

9. The University of Texas hasn't had a Heisman Trophy winner since Ricky Williams won in 1998. Johnny figured it was time Austin remembered what one looked like. 

8. Hanging out with Texas governor and former Texas A&M male cheerleader Yell Leader Rick Perry.

7. Johnny set off to Waco to hang out with Baylor head football coach and fellow Drake fan Art Briles, but took a wrong turn. So he went to the frat party on Friday night to get directions. Got invited to come to the other party on the way back to College Station.

6. Searching out locations for his future "Johnny Manziel's Taco Hole" franchise.  

5. Johnny has aardvarked all the sorority sisters at Texas A&M (to use one of Joe Bob Briggs' euphemisms), so he needed to find a new batch.

4. Dehydrating. What do think Johnny Manziel was doing in Austin?

3. Making a pilgrimage to The Real World: Austin house to honor boyhood idol (and long time The Challenge douchebag, Wes Bergman. 

2. Austin has two Waffle Houses. College Station has zero. Seriously, this is an issue.

1. He's Johnny Fraking Football . He can do exactly whatever the frak he wants.

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