Monday, December 17, 2012

Bucky Badger would like to have a few words with Wisconsin AD Barry Alvarez.

(Buckingham U. Badger, mascot of the University of Wisconsin, Freudian nightmare incarnate, and third cousin of Dread Chuthulu (once removed), responds to the ongoing search to find a replacement for Wisconsin head football coach Bret Bielema.)

Ah, Mister Alvarez. It has not gone unnoticed that you still have not found a replacement for that accursed turncoat, Bret Bielema. Worse, some of his former underlings are now scattering to the four corners of the earth, or even back to Mr. Bielema's side in Fayetteville. This is not a tollerable event.

Now Mister Alvarez - may I call you Benard? I have also heard that you may possibly decide to once again take hold of the mantle of Wisconsin head football coach on a permanent basis. I assume you are inspired by that aged scamp at Kansas State Bill Snyder (Delightful man. I hear he coached young Noah's Pop Warner football team). I would like to inform you that this only works in the Big 12, where mediocrity and underachievement are expected.

I would suggest, Benard, that you get off your posterior and find our beloved iinstitution a new head football coach. Preferably one with a notable pedigree of coaching success.

(via Bucky's 5th Quarter)