Thursday, March 29, 2012

Mike Leach out-Mike Leaches himself with Pac-12 mascot death match.

Oh Mike Leach, how we have missed you and your delightful outlook on life and college football. From your "Fat Little Girlfriends" speech to you unnatural (and possibly unhealthy) obsession with pirates, you give us all such joy in our lives when you go off script. Take for example the latest gem from the Washington State head coach, which comes after some enterprising reporter asks him what Pac-12 mascot would win a death match.

Jim Moore: In a battle to the death among Pac-12 mascots, which animal or person wins?

Mike Leach: The Cougar absolutely. Let's go through this a little bit. A cougar obviously kills a duck and a beaver. A cougar against a husky ... that's pretty well a massacre. A cardinal or whatever: I don't know exactly what a cougar would either climb it or I wouldn't want to think of what else he'd do on it. Now Golden Bears could be kinda tough. I think you'd want to be a little fast and loose with them. You don't want to get caught by that bear. The Ute ... you gotta dodge some arrowheads, but I still like the Cougar. Buffalo ... I think the buffalo would be pretty tough to beat. Wildcat: Cougars are bigger than wildcats . Sun Devils, that's mythical anyway. Trojans, they may be as well. I think you gotta look out for the Bruins and the Buffalo. The Golden Bear, Bruin and Buffalo .. I think those are the tough ones.

Moore: Why the Buffalo?

Leach: Do you want to fight a buffalo? I don't know, those buffalo are big. You know, buffalo are significantly bigger than elk. I grew up near Yellowstone so I've been near buffalo. Buffalo are huge. And then the other thing I've always gotten a kick out of: When you play Colorado, there's those buffalo dragging those six handler around. Those handlers aren't dragging the buffalo. The buffalo's dragging him.
Ralphie's not even a big buffalo. Ralphie pulls those people wherever he wants to.

It certainly looks as if Leach has spent some serious time thinking about stuff like this while he was exiled from the college football sidelines. Naturally, he went diplomatic and picked the Cougar as the last mascot standing (take note, Jim Mora, Jr.) Though you have to wonder on some level if Leach would seriously put together some mondo bizarro Hunger Games-style competition involving the Pac-12's cosplaying furries costumed mascots for his own personal pleasure.

(via CougCenter)

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