Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Presenting the Ole Miss Mascot Finalists

Old Miss Students will begin voting Wednesday on their choice for their new, Confederacy-free mascot (the "Rebel" name notwithstanding). Sadly, campus favorite Admiral Ackbar is not included in the choice, as both the college administration and Lucasfilm are both more anal that Phil Hartman's Anal-Retentive Chef character. Here are the designs for the mascots Old Miss students will be voting on.

"The Rebel Land Shark"

This is the mascot that got the SWRT endorsement. But seeing the final design does require second thoughts about that. A shark in a sport coat and tie? Must be a law grad. That or a banking executive. He really needs to be wearing a Hawaiian shirt. 

"The Rebel Black Bear"

This one looks lamer than anything that could possibly be imagined. And Ole Miss has this one in dress up mode too. Obviously, nobody has seen the cosplay version of Smokey, the Tennessee mascot in a suit.

Seriously stupid idea there.

"Hotty Toddy"

This is the best Old Miss could come up with for "Hotty Toddy?" A goober in one of those blasted spandex bodysuits?  Please. Kill. Me. Now. This falls short of the Muppet-like character originally described when this mess began. The levels of lameness this falls on number nigh close to the infinite.

Seriously, Ole Miss should've just cut Lucasfilm a check and let them design a passable substitute for Admiral Ackbar. Lucasfilm could never come up with anything lamer than these three...

 Oh, never mind...

(The Clarion Ledger, Friends of the Program)

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