Sunday, August 22, 2010

Brett Gardner gives the worst emergency evacuation advice ever.

South Carolina's Office of Homeland Security tapped New York Yankee outfielder Brett Gardner for a video on speedy evacuation planning in case of an emergency for it's "Be Ready SC" campaign. Because the Yankees are the Palmetto State's favorite baseball team, right? (Actually Gardner is a native of Holly Hill, SC. Who knew?) Sadly, this is one of the worst videos of this type ever.

Picking your family over your Star Wars collection? In the immortal words of Gardner's Yankee teammate Nick Swisher, "No way, Dude." In the Zombie Apocalypse, Star Wars  action figures will be worth  more than those rinky-dink little gold coins shilled by Glen Beck on the radio. A first edition Boba Fett alone will get you at least three months supply of canned food and ammo.
Your family? Well, there's only so many times you'll be ever to sell your family members into slavery for supplies. Pretty soon it'll be just you and Grandma. And unless she knows a lot of ways to skin and cook opossum,  she probably won't go for much. A decent sized Star Wars collection, rationed properly, will allow you to survive in the wastelands for years, or until all the zombies are destroyed, whichever comes first.

(via SB Nation)

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