Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Shirts Without Random Triangles: Shocker! Nike releases MVPuppets t-shirt

To nobody's surprise, Nike is coming out with a t-shirt featuring the MVPuppets. The puppet avatars of Kobe Bryant and LeBron James, along with other characters from those increasingly annoying commercials can now emblazioned on an actual piece of Nike Merchandise, which is available either a)for purchase at, or b)for free in a contest at Dime. Here's a close up, of the shirt, inspired by the "Revolution" poster featuring LeBron and other NBA players.

It's the perfect gift for Terence Moore, if you ask me.

(Via First Cuts, Dime)

Another media voice chimes in against Dr. Evil Michael Adams

The Sporting Blog's Brian Cook joins Bob Ryan in saying that UGA president Dr. Evil Michael Adams might not be the best candidate for NCAA president.

... Say what you want about Brand, but he at least seemed earnest. His major project was an academic reform push that seems at least marginally effective at publicizing and punishing schools that don't make a good faith effort at graduating 60 percent of their players. There aren't legions of incensed Indiana bloggers who spit before saying his name. There isn't a 50-page audit alleging massive financial improprieties with his name on it. At no point did 70 percent of the faculty give him a vote of no confidence. It seems like literally everyone with a stake in UGA gets that sign above without having to think about it, so what possible reason could there be to put him in charge of the NCAA?

Considering that the NCAA seems less and less of an organization to oversee academic and ethical standards in college sports, and more as a big money machine disguised as a non-for-profit organization, Dr. EvilAdams might be a good choice for NCAA president. If ethics are still important to you however, he might not such a good idea.

(via The Sporting Blog)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Cupid Wears Jean Shorts? Tim Tebow, the Heisman, and a marriage proposal

Here's a new one for the annals of embarrassing your true love into accepting your marriage proposal: Ask her at a Tim Tebow autograph signing:

The lucky couple, by the way, are named on YouTube as Ian Lis and Sarah Springer. One has to wonder if Ms. Springer isn't half disappointed that Timmy wasn't the one asking her to marry him. Can't wait to see what Deadspin's semi-sacrilegious "Tim Tebow Messiah Watch" has to say about this.

(via Dr. Saturday, The Huffington Post, Deadspin)

Monday, March 29, 2010

Sing along with Bill Stewart. Or: I'll take "Places I don't want to find my school's head football coach at" for $100, Alex

Need a reason to root against West Virginia in the Final Four? Yeah, with the Mountaineers playing Duke that might be a little hard to do. This clip of WVU football coach Bill Stewart and a bunch of drunks in Myrtle Beach, SC might change your mind.

To be perfectly honest there's nothing really wrong with "Take Me Home, Country Roads." If were West Virginia's official state song, it would probably rank high on the list of "Best State Songs." Though "Georgia On My Mind" still beats all other state songs hands down.

(via EDSBS)

Ryan Newman, conspiracy spank

As you can tell from the strikeout in the headline, NASCAR driver Ryan Newman has lost his place on the Ryan list, where winners and heroes like Nolan Ryan, Matt Ryan, Ryan Braun, Ryan Conklin, etc., take their rightful place. Sadly, Newman has lost his place for being a total goober. In an interview, Newman claimed that the Apollo 11 Moon landing was faked.

"I'm pretty sure (the original moon landing) was fake. I watched the documentary on it, and it's pretty easy to believe. The flag was standing straight out when there's no wind up there. When they step on the surface, there should have been a big cloud because there's no atmosphere."

Sadly, Newman is a graduate of Purdue. I think he must have been asleep when that was mentioned in history or something. That or his head is as empty as Purdue Pete's mascot head when not being worn.

(via From the Marbles, News & Record)

Bob Ryan vs. Dr. Evil Michael Adams

You may have noticed a little bit of a negative feeling towards UGA president Dr. Evil Michael Adams. Well those aren't unique because quite a few members of the Bulldog Nation don't like Dr. Evil Adams. This goes to his handling of events such as forcing Vince Dooley out as UGA AD, and the various scandals involving Jim Harrick and the UGA basketball team. And problems in the athletic department are just the tip of the iceberg. Despite this, Dr. Evil Adams is still considered as a prime candidate to replace the late Miles Brand as president of the NCCA.
Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe thinks otherwise. He wrote a column relating various scandals, athletic and non-athletic, that have surrounded Adams' tenure as UGA president. This includes accusations for financial impropriety, and and being referred to as an “Imperial CEO.’’
Ryan doesn't feel that makes Adams a good candidate for the NCAA presidency. Then again, considering how toothless and profit-minded the NCAA has become, he might be perfect for the job. And UGA supporters wouldn't mind any excuse for him t0 be an ex-president.

(via Boston Globe, Athens Banner-Herald, CBS

What if the Final Four were the Fantastic Four?

Duke. Michigan State. Butler. West Virginia. They are the 2010 Final Four.
But...What if instead of the Final Four, these four teams were the personifications of Stan ("The Man") Lee and Jack ("King") Kirby's greatest creation...The Fantastic Four?

Duke as...Mister Fantastic
It's easy to see Mike Krzyzewski in the role of Reed Richards, the analytical leader of the FF. If he acts like he's smarter than anybody else in the room, it's because he is. Maybe Mr. Fantastic brains overshadow his not-to-be-taken lightly stretching powers. But in many ways that's how Duke is in real life, with Coach K's coaching skills overshadowing his teams playing skills at times.

State as...The Thing
If there's a first rule in March Madness bracketology it has to be "Don't bet against the Izzo." Many have and their brackets look like Ben Grimm smashed right through them. The Thing can sometimes get overlooked with powerhouses like the Hulk, Thor, and Iron Man running around. In the same way Michigan State can mistakenly be written off in a field than includes Kansas, Kentucky, and Syracuse. That's always a huge mistake. Tom Izzo can rally the troops just like Ben Grimm can rally the FF with his battle cry "IT'S CLOBBERING TIME!" (Yes, that had to be in all capitals.) The Thing never gives up, and he's always ready to come after you with both fists ready to fight.

Butler as...The Human Torch
Ah, Johnny Storm. The young hotshot who blazes a trail of glory. Okay, The Human Torch might not seem the underdog that Butler is to you, but have you ever taken a look at Johnny Storm's love life? Crystal, his first girlfriend, dumped him for the Magneto's kid Quicksilver (though they didn't know that at the time and...oh I digress too much). Then his next steady girl, Frankie Raye, dumped him for planet eating Galactus, of all people. Then he finally got lucks and married Alicia Masters, the Thing's ex-girlfriend. Only it turned out she was really a shape changing Skrull and...well, you get the picture. But as you can see the Torch does have a bit of underdog streak in him. And like the Torch, Butler can very soon find out what happens when you "Flame On!" too soon.

West Virgi
nia as...The Invisible Woman
Well, somebody had to be Sue Storm Richards. I guess it sucks being West Virginia this time. But seriously, like the Invisible Woman (as she's been called since 1985. Use "The Invisible Girl" at a fanboy and see what happens) West Virginia can be taken lightly a lot of the time. Whereas the Invisible Woman's power to turn herself invisible (duh!) can seem underwhelming at times, her ability to generate force fields can sometimes be as formidable as any of the other powers of the FF. So too is West Virginia's defense, which was able to hold back even Kentucky. Doctor Doom learned about the Invisible Woman the hard way too.

Imagine what the Fantastic Four would be like on the basketball court. Imagine what the Final Four could do combined against the likes of Doctor Doom or the Mole Man. The imagination just quivers at the thought.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Josh McDaniels under the microscope

While taking a look back at the first year of Josh McDaniels reign as the Denver Broncos' drill sergeant head coach, The Denver Post dropped this little gem about McDaniels' relationship with Patriots' QB Tom Brady during the 2005 season. This was when McDaniels became the Patriots' quarterback coach (though in reality he was pretty much the offensive coordinator) :

So what happened in McDaniels' first season of coaching Brady, the league's best quarterback? The two went three weeks without speaking to each other. Brady went on to have a Pro Bowl season, and the Patriots made the playoffs. And, two years later, McDaniels, by then officially promoted to offensive coordinator, helped Brady set an NFL record with 50 touchdown passes in a season.

Clearly, McDaniels and Brady got past their spat.

The Post brought the subject up as an example of a problem with getting well with others that pretty much became to identify McDaniels first year as Bronco's coach. Problems with Jay Cutler (who was traded for Kyle Orton) and Brandon Marshall in the offseason were briefly overshadowed by a quick 6-0 start at the start of the 2009 season, but then went 2-8 the rest of the year.

While this could be written off as the pitfalls of a first year head coach. But with a probably trade of Marshall, and a brewing quarterback controversey with Orton and Brady Quinn, season two of the McDaniels regime

(via PFT, Denver Post)

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Saturday Sundry Links

A few sundry links to help you get through the day.

Lane Kiffin "Sexiest Woman Alive Madness" update - Lane is still ahead of Natalie Gulbis. (Esquire)

Terence Moore has a thinking problem about Urban Meyer...again. - More Terence Being Terence. (Fanhouse)

Dawg Sports' College Football Hall of Fame Ballot. - Former Dawgs Jake Scott, Matt Stinchcomb, and Scott Woerner make his ballot. As does Deion Sanders, Lawrence Taylor, and Pat Tillman, among others. No Gators though, for some reason. (Dawg Sports)

ABC's Road to March Madness profiles Swiperboy. - From YouTube to the Elite Eight.

Jason Heyward will wear #22 on his Braves's jersey. - Heyward's number is 22. Matt Ryan wears #2 on his jersey. Coincidence? (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Joe Buck Live is an ex-television program. - Somewhere, Artie Lange is laughing demonically. (Warming Glow)

Friday, March 26, 2010

The Internet demands Gus Johnson in the booth for SEC Football

Well okay, so far it's just And the Valley Shook! and EDSBS that I know of. But heck, I know a bandwagon to jump on then I see it. And Gus Johnson in the announcer's booth would be pure awesomeness.
Johnson may be the breakout star of this year's tournament. Even more so than anybody on the St. Mary's or Northern Iowa rosters. Johnson has inspired a soundboard created in his honor.
Covering college football won't be too much of an adjustment for Johnson. He's covered NFL game for CBS, and is known for his call last year of Brandon Stokley's Week 1 touchdown reception in Denver's victory over Cincinnati. So covering a college football game shouldn't be a stretch.
Need more proof? Take a gander at this.

And so in honor of this, SWRT has created a Facebook group to further this movement to pair up the SEC to the excitement that is Gus Johnson.
Just imagine Gus Johnson calling Alabama versus Tennessee. Or Georgia versus Florida in the World's Largest (Redacted by the orders of Dr. Evil Michael Adams). Rise and Fire indeed.

(via EDSBS, And the Valley Shook!)

The Boston Red Sox: "What, Me Worry?"

This was Dustin Pedroia doing his best Alfred E. Newman Thursday, after x-rays on his left wrist showed no damage from where he sprained it in a Tuesday spring practice game against the Minnesota Twins. Pedroia may be all smiles, but that's not keeping Red Sox fans from slipping back into their pre-1994 ways. Over the Monster presents to the public "The Paranoid's Guide to the Red Sox, Part I: Riverdancing with Wolves." The title alone is worth the going to the trouble of linking up to it. First up is a look at the flaws in the pitching of Jonathan Papelbon, including the dependence on the fastball, and lack of success with secondary pitches. This and this ominous warning:
When you've got a 1-pitch pitcher with a lot of wear on his arm, and a big free agent contract on the horizon, the last thing you expect is a big season. In 2010, the only thing Jonathan Papelbon will be saving is himself... for the Yankees.
Be afraid, Boston, be very afraid.

(via ESPN, Over the Monster)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Five for Five Links

Mark Richt lashed out at reporter over quotes from UGA VIII - Let the Urban Meyer meltdown parodies begin! (Dawg Sports)

LSU considers on campus micro-brewery - An official one that is. Wouldn't shock me one bit if there weren't amateur versions of Hawkeye and B.J.'s still in the dorms already. (Dr. Saturday)

Paul Hewitt not jumping at St. John's, staying at Georgia Tech - At least one of those is due to a huge buyout clause. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

The International Bowl is toast. - Wait, there was a bowl game in Toronto? Sadly, bowl games are like the heads of the hydra. Cut one off and two more grow grow in its place. (Buster Sports)

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...LAME! - This Dwight Howard "This is SportsCenter" commercial.

If Hannah Storm is Lois Lane, does this make Brian Kenny Jimmy Olsen?

Auburn taps Barbee as new mens' basketball coach.

Okay, it's not that Barbie. But in all seriousness Auburn has hired UTEP's Tony Barbee to be the Tigers' new mens' basketball coach. No word yet if Ken or Skipper will be joining him on the coaching staff.

(via Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Urban Meyer goes postal at reporter after Tebow comments

(Cue the Carolina Liar)

Urban Meyer went a little postal at Orlando Sentinel reporter Jeremy Fowler Wednesday. Fowler had reported on comments by Florida wide receiver (for now) Deonte Thompson comparing new Gator QB John Brantley to a certain former Florida QB who just recently graduated.

"New quarterback John Brantley is what Thompson calls a “pure passer,” which makes him happy. The two have connected on thousands of passes the last three years in practice, Thompson said.

“You never know with Tim,” Thompson said. “You can bolt, you think he’s running but he’ll come up and pass it to you. You just have to be ready at all times. With Brantley, everything’s with rhythm, time. You know what I mean, a real quarterback.”

Meyer confronted Fowler on Wednesday about the comments. As you can see, He wasn't amused.

In case you missed it, Meyer said “If that was my son, we’d be going at it right now.” He was talking about Fowler there, but the fact the comments were about Tebow probably made the situation even worse. In fact, it could be argued that subconsciously it really was Tebow that Meyer was referring to in that manner. Meyer also loved Tebow like Timmy was his own child. It just seems that love was more in the way John Huston loved Faye Dunnaway in Chinatown as time goes on.

(And yes, that just being metaphorical.)

(via Deadspin, Orlando Sentinel)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Swiperboy's got a Sweet 16 rap.

Just in time for the Sweet 16, Renaldo "Swiperboy" Woolridge is back with a rap on guess what? Tennessee's trip to the Sweet 16. Creatively titled "Baller Vol Sweet 16," Swiperboy dropped this one on YouTube a couple of days ago.

He apparently has a mix tape out on April 4 also. I'm sure that it'll be one Bruce Pearl's iPod quicker than a UT coed on his son, Steven Pearl's lap.

I guess it is great to be a Tennessee Vol.

Oh crud...did I just use the words "Bruce Pearl" and "rap" in the same sentence?

Remind me not to make that mistake again.
(via Deadspin, The Big Lead)

Forget Chris Evans. Ricky Stanzi is the "REAL" Captain America

Chris Evans has accepted Marvel's offer to play Captain America in The First Avenger: Captain America, scheduled for a 2011 release. However, Marvel's choice may have picked the wrong man for the job. Black Heart Gold Pants make a good case for Iowa QB Ricky Stanzi as the real Star-Spangled Avenger.The blog gives us a three part tale that takes our hero from the heart of Middle America to deepest darkest North Korea to rescue Iowa obsessed South Korean pop group Girls' Generation from his jealous teammate Paki O'Meara. (Don't ask. South Korea's apparently obsessed with the Iowa Hawkeyes. I blame Alan Alda.) Read Part one here. And follow it up with Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.
(Wait, did I say this was three parts? Silly me. I have become The Spanish Inquisition. If you've got a problem with that, I'll strap you to the Comfy Chair.)

(via KITV, Black Heart Gold Pants)

Your gratuitous "Sexy" Lane Kiffin update

It may be a case of too little, too late, but Natalie Gulbis has crept up a little on Lane Kiffin in Esquire's "Sexiest Woman Alive Madness" Tournament. But not by much. Kiffin still leads 56%-44%, so that may be too much ground for Gulbis to make up.
Just for future reference, Danica Patrick is shaping up to be Kiffin's competition in the second round of the tournament. She's currently ahead of Erin Andrews 54%-46%.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

More reasons to hate Duke: Dad names son after Christian Laettner

It's one of those things that could only happen during March Madness. A couple in North Carolina has named their son Laettner Keanu Locklear. The father, Chad Locklear, obviously a huge Duke fan. So he picked the one name above all others that would annoy all the Tar Heel fans he knows. You can include his wife, April Locklear among that group. She's the one that came up with the middle name "Keanu," by the way. So she's not completely off the hook for this kid's future stint in psychological therapy.
It could be worse. Imagine a kid named Hurley or Redick. Or worse...Krzyzewski. On the other hand, the kid could have been named Montross. Or Jordan, if he was lucky.

In a related story, a couple in Minnesota named their kid after Joe Mauer. And I thought I was a dork because I want to name my firstborn son David Webb (if you get the reference, kudos to you).

(via Deadspin, Fayetteville Observer)

Yankee and Red Sox players in a commercial ? Are cats and dogs living together next?

It's an act that is probably only permissible due to the involvement of ESPN. Boston Red Sox pitcher Clay Buchholz and Yankee outfielder Nick Swisher have done a commercial promoting the WWL's baseball schedule. But at least there are some things you can't get a Yankee to do.

I hope Swisher's refusal to sing "Sweet Caroline" is more than just a gag in a commercial. It should be a part of every Yankee's contract where singing that is banned.

The other guy in the clip is Adam Scott, who you might know from either a)the movie Step Brothers, or b)the USA series Party Down, though I seriously doubt the later, since I never even heard of it.

(via, Boston Dirt Dogs, imdb)

Monday, March 22, 2010

For sale: Golden State Warriors, slightly used

Want to buy a an NBA franchise, and you have about $315 million? Well, you're in luck. The Golden State Warriors are up for sale. Though you may have to wait in line, because Larry Ellison, CEO of Oracle, has been waiting for his chance at owning the team for a while.
Christopher Cohan, who owns an an 80% stake in the Warriors, ended months of speculation and officially put the team up for sale Monday. He's hired Galatioto Sports Partners to help facilitate the sale. Reports of a possible sale have been around since last July. Ellison has reportedly been wanting to buy the team (Oracle has the naming rights to the team's arena) but bemoaned in January that "unfortunately you can't have a hostile takeover of a basketball team." Now he might have his chance.
The Warriors, by the way, are described as "are a premier NBA franchise" in a press release put out by the team. If by "premier" you mean the last place team in the Pacific Division with a 19-50 record, that is. Well at least it makes you more "premier" than the New York Knicks, I guess.

(via SB Nation, USA Today, Yahoo! Sports)

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Clausen and Tebow not on Browns' radar?

Don't expect Jimmy Clausen or Tim Tebow to be wearing a Browns jersey next season. Mike Holmgren isn't quite sold on them. Interviewed by the Cleveland Plain-Dealer, the Browns President said the team would draft a quarterback. However, he wasn't too keen on Clausen or Tebow.
In regards to Clausen, Holmgren said:

"I wish I liked him more," he said. "You know how you have a type of player that you like? It's not scientific. People like him a lot. He'll go high. But it would be hard for me [to take him]."

Translation: We've had enough of Notre Dame QB's thank you.
As for Tebow, while he was invited to pay a private visit with the Browns, Holmgren doesn't seem willing to use a projected second round draft pick on him.

..."There are areas of the football team that we really have to help -- the secondary, offensive line -- to get the team better. This year it would be pretty hard to use the second [round] pick to get a quarterback. It would be pretty hard for me.

"Next year might be easier. We've got [three picks in the third round and four in the fifth round] going for us. But I'd have to have another second-round pick [to take a quarterback in the second round]."

If if makes Browns' fans feel happier, there was no mention of Colt McCoy. So he might still be on the radar in Cleveland.

(via Cleveland Plain-Dealer)

Expect Tiger Woods to talk a lot, say little in ESPN interview

The Associated Press is reporting that ESPN will air an interview with Tiger Woods tonight at 7:00 P.M. Eastern. Tom Rinaldi will reportedly be handling the interview for the World Wide Leader.
No further details about the interview are available, but don't expect any salacious new information coming from Woods. This will probably be as sanitised for his protection as the Bob Costas interview with Mark McGwire was. You'll have to wait for the next batch of Woods' illicit text messages to pop up online for that.


Your "Sexy" Lane Kiffin update

It does seem that Lane Kiffin is easily going to beat Natalie Grubbs in the first round of Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive Madness tournament. So it might be time to start scouting out Kiffin's "Sexy" competition, starting the the Sports Bracket, where Lane and Natalie are located.

(2)Tanith Belbin vs. (15)Daniela Hantuchova
The lovely ice dancer Belbin holds a slight 51%-49% lead over the beautiful Slovakian tennis player.

(4) Serena Williams vs. (13) Gina Carano
Serena may be the queen on the tennis court, but MMA star Carano reigns supreme in this match-up 84%-16%

(5) Ana Ivanovic vs. (12) Heather Mitts
The soccer star is easily beating the tennis star 68%-32%

(6) Lindsey Vonn & Julia Mancuso vs. (11) The "Panamanian Cricket Team"
America's Olympians are getting beat by what may be the phoniest sports entity since the Swedish Bikini Team 69%-31%. Patriotism obviously means nothing to voters.

(7) Matt Stafford's Girlfriend (Kelly Hall) vs. (10) Scott Podsednik's Wife (Lisa Dergan)
America's love for football stretches wins out against America's Pastime 61%-39%

(8) Erin Andrews vs. (9) Danica Patrick
Danica is edging out Erin 52%-48% in what is obviously a hotly contested race.

Should they both make it through Kiffin would face Danica Patrick in round two. Brace yourselves for an epic battle.

(via Esquire)

Saturday, March 20, 2010

The other obvious Kansas joke...

Yeah, I had to go there.

Kansas gives illustrative descripton of your brackets after today

The band, that is. Not the basketball team.

The Gaels of St. Mary's ah, hear they are calling...

It's like Christmas in March for St. Mary's fans!

The Gaels of St. Mary's
Ah. hear they are calling
The young loves, the true loves
To the Sweet Sixteen

And so my beloved
When Wildcats are falling
The loves bells shall ring out, ring out
For you and me

Friday, March 19, 2010

Dragging Lane Kiffin's name through the mud again

It's the moment you've been waiting for: The (almost) daily update on how Lane Kiffin's doing in Esquire's "Sexiest Woman Alive Madness" tournament. As of 4;40 PM EST, Kiffin still is beating first round opponent Natalie Grubbs by a commanding lead. He leads 58%-42%.
It may be a little premature, but to celebrate Kiffin's almost certain victory, I decided it was about time our little Princess Lane needed a name worthy of such a title as "Sexiest Woman Alive." So what better way to find Lane a name than checking out some the internet's inevitable drag queen name generators? Oh, don't act like you're surprised they're out there. Anyhow, here's a sampling of what I came up with:'s Drag Queen Name Generator: Amanda Playwith.

Rum & Monkey: Charlamaine Tension

Midsumma Drag Name Genarator: Lois Carmen Denominator

Of course he could always go with the obvious "Elaine Changer," "Helena Troy," "Lanie Kitten" or "Lanie Backstabber. "

Oregon AD runs away from the circus

As if things at Oregon weren't bad enough, the school is looking for a new athletic director. Mike Bellotti has left Oregon to become an college football analyst for ESPN. Belotti is not the latest rat to leave the sinking ship known as Oregon, but he's one of the few that haven't been thrown out.
This included several members if Oregon's "Insane Clown Posse" football team, and men's basketball coach Ernie Kent, who was fired for poor performance.
Where there are deeper reasons behind the resignation are uncertain, but Yahoo! Sports Adrian Wojonarowski tweeted that "Oregon's Mike Bellotti isn't resigning because Nike has World Wide Wes and Lynn Merritt running his basketball search. He wants to do TV." Which implied how much influence the Oregon based company has on the Oregon program.

(via The Sporting Blog, Adrian Wojonaroski's Twitter)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Ryan Mallett reacts to "scooter video"

What did Ryan Mallett think of LSU Freek's video where music was added to a clip of Mallett making his way on the Arkansas Kansas with his injured foot resting on some sort of four-wheeled something-or-another? You know, this one?

Well, when asked he seems amused by it. “You’ve got to take it with a grain of salt...There’s going to be people from other teams putting it on the Internet. A million people have sent it to me in my e-mail. I just laugh every time...It doesn’t get to me or anything.”
That's nice, it still won't get Mallett back on the Ryan List, though.
As for LSU Freek, he tweeted " First time ever a target of mine has confirmed he saw my potshot... Props to Mallett for having a sense of humor."

(via Mr. SEC, Arkansas News, LSU Freek's Twitter)

Dawgageddon:UGA clamps down on tailgating fun and carnage

University of Georgia President EvilMichael Adams was not happy with the untidiness of some Georgia tailgaters in Athens last year. Well, more like a lot of tailgaters. The North Campus was pretty much trashed last year after several home games.
Now UGA has come up with some new regulations to prevent future untidiness, along with a lot of fun. Reportedly banned from the North Campus next season are "tents, kegs, generators, televisions, amplified music, grills and cookers, tables longer than 4 feet and household furniture (folding chairs are OK)." Setting up for for tailgating will not be permitted "until four hours before kickoff."
In addition "pull-behind items such as trailers and cookers" are banned from the campus entirely, along with "golf carts and ATVs."
It could be worse. Dr. Evil Adams said that banning tailgating on the North Campus was brought up. “I think they hit a sensible, happy medium for now.”Happy being matter of perception.
Got a problem with this? In that case Spencer Hall has a few words of wisdom:
"It would be really, really nice to support someone getting furious about this, but cleaning up after yourself at a tailgate is basic football fan etiquette, and the people who share our fair state fail at doing that even along the roads of the place they consider home. (Their cars, however, are very clean.) It is a violation made worse by the beautiful campus being trashed in the process."

Hard to argue with him there, even if he is an unrepentant Gator.
(via Athens Banner-Herald, EDSBS)

Is Tom Brady pulling a Favre? He's not working out with the Pats

Don't be alarmed, but Tom Brady still hasn't shown up for the Patriots' voluntary offseason workout program in Foxboro. He's still out in Los Angeles with wife Giselle Bundchen his two sons, and a new dog. Brady claims "that he still does the required training, just not always in Foxboro because his lifestyle has changed with a wife and two children."
Like I said probably nothing to worry about, but it makes you wonder if this is how Brett Favre started in his lack of spending his offseason with the team ways.

(via National Football Post, Boston Herald)

Are the Oregon Ducks the new Insane Clown Posse?

Someone apparently has had enough of the shenanigans of some players of the Oregon Ducks' football team. A billboard in Eugene, Oregon was painted with images of eight current and former Oregon players who have been involved in incidents ranging from the embarrassing to the criminal. The players were painted with clown makeup on their faces, symbolizing how their actions have made the University of Oregon a look like laughing stock to the nation.

The players on the billboard are Jeremiah Masoli (recently pleaded guilty to a second-degree burglary charge. Suspended for 2010 season, ), LaMichael James (pleaded guilty to "a misdemeanor harassment charge stemming from an altercation with his former girlfriend." Suspended for first game of 2010 season), Kiko Alonso (DUII. Suspended for 2010 season), Rob Beard ("pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of physical harassment." Suspended for 2010 season opener.), Garrett Embry (involved in the burglary with Masoi. No longer on the team.), Jamere Holland (dismissed from team for violating team rules after an incident with his Faebook account), Matt Simms ("pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of harassment" involving a fight with fellow kicker Mike Bowlin. Dismissed from team), and most notoriously LeGarrette Blount (punched Boise State player Byron Hout live on ESPN. Suspended part of last season.)
Not pictured is Oregon coach Chip Kelly, who should probably be shown wearing the sad clown makeup of the late Emmet Kelly. Perfect for the coach of what is slowly becoming the NCAA's version of the Insane Clown Posse.

(via Dr. Saturday, ESPN,,,, The Register-Guard,

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Lane Kiffin: Sexiest Woman Alive Update.

As of the time this is being written (11:58 PM EST) Lane Kiffin is beating Natalie Gulbis in the first round of voting for Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive Madness tournament 58% - 47%. It's beginning to look like Esquire doesn't think the joke's so funny anymore, though. They've replaced the image of Gulbis originally posted (at left) with one that's a little more flattering. Better vote now before the magazine comes to their senses.

(via Esquire)

Tebow invited to NYC for NFL Draft

ESPN's Chris Mortensen via Twitter reports that Tim Tebow has been invited to New York City for the NFL Draft. Which either means a)There are teams actually impressed enough by Tebow to make him a first or second round pick, or b) The NFL has picked him to be this year's Brady Quinn, set up to watch helplessly as other players are drafted ahead of him. Either way, it seems the NFL wants Tebow at the Draft for dramatic effect.

(via Chris Mortensen's Twitter)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! The Notre Dame Leprechaun

Okay, I'll give you this, for a mascot costume, the Notre Dame Leprechaun looks pretty realistic. Most of the cosplayers on the sidelines who dress up as humans look pretty creepy. Like Purdue Pete, for example. The Leprechaun looks almost human, by comparison. Whoever sculpted that head should be given a medal or something. Most fiberglass mascot heads look huge and goofy, the Leprechaun's head on the other hand...
Wait, what's that? That's an actual person in a leprechaun suit? That's not some fiberglass head on that body? How embarrassing! Prancing around in a furry outfit with a giant head is one thing. But roaming around without any sort of mask has to show some total lack of dignity. Or shame. Or Both.
Oh well, Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody. Stay safe.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Today's waste-of-time: What college football coach are you?

Have you ever wanted to know what kind of college football coach you would most be like? Have you ever wanted to waste two or three minutes of your life that you'll never get back? The Orlando Sentinel has come up with one of those little quizzes that asks "If you were a college football coach, who would you be? Needless to say, it's one of those little quizzes of the kind that pollutes Facebook with time-wasting "activities" that really tell you nothing about yourself. Take it at your own risk. You'll either end up a workaholic like Urban Meyer, or a clown like Lane Kiffin.

(via The Orlando Sentinel)

Monday, March 15, 2010

UFC: Remembrance of Xyience girls past, and embarrassing sponsors of the present

Do you know what's missing from modern-day UFC cards? Xyience sponsored ring girls, that's what. Sure, Dana White's got an adult beverage company that sponsors the ring girls who cavort between rounds now, but it's not quite the same. I miss getting together with my friends r for the PPV's and Ultimate Fighter finales, look at the ring girls and shout "She blinded me with Xyience!"

That said, Xyience in on the list of UPROXX blogger Vince Mancin's "10 UFC Sponsors Who Make Me Embarrassed to Like UFC." This list comprises companies that either sponsor the UFC or their fighters. It includes the aforementioned Xyience, the now banned Nazi-crazy Hoelzer Reich, and the ever present Affliction t-shirts. Spike TV also gets it's share of knocks, too. Primarily due to promos of it's inane non-UFC programming including TNA Wrestling!, Blue Mountain State, and MANswers, the show so stupid no real man would ever watch (or at least admit they did.)

In all, this little collection of sponsors shows how closely the UFC and MMA are to their "renegade sport" roots. Despite MMA's inroads into the mainstream in the past decade, it still has some some of the sideshow trappings that some people still hold their noses at, even as they order the PPV's or buy ringside seats for. Shirts with skulls and other psuedo-gothic imagery will probably be around until fighters get bored with it. But the stigma of sponsors like Hoelzer Reich may never go away.

(Huge thanks to eltopo over at The Outhouse for pointing this list out.)
(via The Outhouse, UPROXX)

Oh snap! Lane Kiffin: The Sexiest Woman Alive?

There are just some days that were just made for sports bloggers. This is one of them. Esquire has released their field of 64 for readers to vote for their choice for "The Sexiest Woman Alive." And guess who is among the sixteen lovely ladies in the sports bracket? None other than Lane Kiffin.
Yes, that's right. Lane Kiffin. Not Layla, Kiffin's quite bodacious wife, but the uh, man himself.
Kiffin's up against golfer Natalie Grubbs ("Why couldn't she be the golfer with a sex addiction?" the magazine writes). He's described a being "Such a lovely girl. Sure raises a ruckus."
Vote early and vote often folks. This is probably gonna lead to denial of service alerts through Tennessee.

(via Dr. Saturday, Esquire)

Eerily prophetic photo of the day: Rothlisberger at Watchmen premiere

SWRT would like to thank Sports by Brooks for reminding everybody of this photo taken of Ben Roethlisberger at the 2009 premiere of Watchmen. As you can tell from the poster behind him, Big Ben and Silk Spectre seem to have a lot in common. Okay, Big Ben hasn't been involved with a giant naked blue guy (that I know of), But other than that, they have a lot in common.

(via Sports By Brooks)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

When Brady Quinn gets cut traded, everybody's gonna jump for joy (UPDATED)

It seems just a matter of time before Brady Quinn is an ex-Brown. If the Browns can't trade him, he will probably will be released. Where the struggling ex-golden boy QB of Notre Dame winds up is any one's guess. Though apparently it won't be the Carolina Panthers. It would seem that while Cleveland welcomed ex-Panther QB Jake Delhomme, Carolina is less than enthused with an equal and opposite attempt to acquire Quinn in some manner.
Mike Florio of PFT speculates that Quinn could wind up in Kansas City, playing for his former Irish coach. Though it would probably be backing up current Chiefs' albatross quarterback Matt Cassel. The Cleveland Plain Dealer suggests Seattle, Denver, or Arizona (along with Carolina) would be interested. Though considering the later two teams' record with Quinn's 2006 NFL Draft-mates Jay Cutler and Matt Leinart, they might be a little wary of him.
SB Nation's Jon Bois laments that "when Brady Quinn was drafted in 2007, the general consensus was that "Quinn the Eskimo (Mighty Quinn)" by Bob Dylan was a song befitting of the erstwhile quarterback. Nearly three years later, Quinn finds himself miles away from a starting job in the NFL, and without the help of injuries or major off-the-field issues." Perhaps in that sad statement lies Quinn's fate. The Edmonton Eskimos of the CFL might be willing to give him a shot.

UPDATE: 5:39 PM: Adam Schefter reports via Twitter that Quinn's been traded to Denver for "FB Peyton Hillis, a 2011 6th-round draft selection and a late-round 2012 pick to Cleveland." I guess Denver wasn't gun-shy to get another QB from the Class of '07 after all.

(via SB Nation, PFT, Charlotte Observer, Cleveland Plain Dealer )

Saturday, March 13, 2010

In the outfield stands a boxer: Nick Swisher's "boxing regimen"

What did Nick Swisher in the offseason to prepare himself to defend the Yankees' World Series crown? He got in the ring. Swisher spent the offseason in California training with a "boxing regimen" that left him twelve pounds lighter.
"It's amazing to see how much boxing translates into a baseball swing, with the movements of your hip and your torso, and the concentration on your core. For me, man, you go a couple of rounds and I never knew three minutes was that long."

No word if Swisher plans to enter one of those "celebrity boxing" competitions. Opposing pitchers might want to make a note that Swisher's not the Yankee to throw a bean-ball at.


Friday, March 12, 2010

Looking for a new nickname for Gilbert Arenas? Hey! Over here!

Ball Don't Lie is looking for a new nickname for Gilbert Arenas. Apparently nobody told Trey Kirby that SWRT had already re-christened Arenas "Suspect Zero" a couple of months ago.
*Sigh* the tribulations of a struggling young blog...
(FlashForward, the inspiration for Arenas' new nickname, is back on the air next Thursday, for your information. Check it out.)

(via Ball Don't Lie)

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Shirts Without Random Triangles: I can't make this stuff up

The above image is apparently of an actual shirt available for purchase in Nashville, site of this year's SEC basketball tournament. It was spotted at a space rented by Lexington retailer Cat Fan-Attic. It's supposed to be a reference to Wildcats' DeMarcus Cousins. When asked by the Atlanta Journal-Constitution if it referenced anything else, owner Ann Stith responded “What? What do you mean?”

(via Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Dawgageddon: Mark Fox comes down with Roy Williams Syndrome

Georgia head basketball coach Mark Fox just got a case of Roy Williams Syndrome. Speaking on Georgia's chances of repeating the Dawgs' 2008 SEC Tournament (when a tornado hit downtown Atlanta) , Fox said “Well, I’m not going to pray for a tornado.”
I hope that doesn't happen either. But I do hope Fox gets a clue that after the earthquakes in Haiti and Chile, this might not be the best time for humorous disaster comments.

(via Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Dump Big Ben and Draft Tebow? Yes, somebody went there.

If was just a matter of time before somebody said something pretty stupid involving the Ben Roethlisberger mess. Bleacher Report's Nick Signorelli and The Orlando Sentinel's Jeremy Fowler have both suggested that The Pittsburgh Steelers trade Big Ben for for a first round draft pick, and then draft...wait for it...Tim Tebow.
Signorelli's idea is to trade Roethlisberger for "two first round picks and a second round pick" to Seattle or Washington, then use a lot of subterfuge to confuse other teams ahead of them what their draft pick would be, then take Tebow.

"And make no mistake about it, with Tim Tebow, we will NEVER be hearing of him out drinking and partying, and things along those lines. Tebow is a proud Christian, and has even abstained from sex until this point in his life, because he believes in waiting for his wife.

Tebow is the kind of face that the Rooneys have always dreamed of having for their franchise, and, if they play their cards right, they may just end up getting him."

Nice plan, too bad he's already let the cat out of the bad in his plan.
And leave it to a Florida blogger to show support for this harebrained scheme.

"For all of Ben Roethlisberger’s on-field success, a second sexual assault allegation in as many years unveils a troubling pattern in Roethlisberger’s life, innocent or not. Guy’s just not being smart about his career and the positions in which he places himself. Why not draft an image-conscious quarterback such as Tim Tebow who, if anything else, could provide guidance to the two-time Super Bowl winner. It also shows the organization has not taken the Roethlisberger’s situation lightly."

It's the kind of harebrained logic you would expect from either a sports blogger or someone with a Wonderlic score of 22 (or both). A score of 22, by the way, just happens to be what Tebow happened to get. With a score that low, the Rooneys would have no need to trade Big Ben to draft His Tebowness (if they were inclined to. Don't hold your breath.). Tebow would be there for the taking in the second or third round.

Besides, the Rooney's might not be inclined to trade their starting QB who keeps getting involved in sexual assault allegation for a QB who, well...

(via Bleacher Report, Orlando Sentinel, TIMTEBLOG)