Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Meaningless bowl game in NYC

The absurdity of college bowl games never seems to end. From the top dogs in the BCS to the lowliest meaningless game in the middle of nowhere, every new wrinkle in the system does nothing to dispel the real need of a playoff system.
The latest in bowl madness: A bowl game to be played in New York City at Yankee Stadium. Say that to yourself and consider how ludicrous that concept is. College football and NYC; two things that never really had any real reason for each other. (You could mention Columbia University, that won't help) It appears that this bowl will feature Plans call for the third or fourth best team in the Big East to play the either a)The seventh best Big 12 team or b) Notre Dame if no Big 12 teams are bowl eligible.
That's nice. There's going to be a bowl game in the biggest city in America, and it'll feature the scraps of two football conferences and/or the scraps that used to be Notre Dame. Yeah, that'll sell.
No word yet on an exact date either. But plans call for it to be after the 2010 season between Christmas and Dec. 31. Translation: Not even NYC can pull off this kind of boondoggle on Jan. 1.
It's too bad really. NYC should get a better bowl than this. It can be argued that it's a start, but it'll be an uphill battle to get anywhere in the sea of meaningless bowls.

More ex-celeb MMA hijinks

And another name to the growing list of people getting into MMA who absolutely don't belong in MMA. First it was Tommy the Green Power Ranger (White Power Ranger, same dang thing). Then it was Herschel Walker. Now comes word that rapper DMX is going to be fighting on the undercard of a Thunder Promotions event headlined by Butterbean vs. Tank Abbot in Birmingham, AL. What, Jose Canseco wasn't available? Wait, don't answer that.
If anything, this shows the one step forward, two steps back approach MMA as a whole takes when it comes to being seen as a legitimate sport. Despite the efforts of Dana White and the UFC, stunts like celebrity cage fighters tend to drop MMA down a notch. At least when UFC goes the celeb route with fighters like Brock Lesnar and Kimbo Slice they at least make sure they actually have some sort of actual background in MMA or wrestling or something. For some promotions it seems publicity is more important than legitimacy.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Rothlesmania runs wild!

I thought the clip of Ric Flair scratch off lottery tickets was the facepalm moment of the day. Leave it to the WWE to prove that I was sadly mistaken. In its never ending quest to turn off its fanbase, the WWE has announced Steelers' QB Ben Roethlisberger will be the special guest host of next week's Monday Night RAW.
It's really hard to tell who looks worse in this situation, Mr. Roethlisberger or Mr. McMahon. On one hand you've got Big Ben showing why people question his judgement at times. On the field he can be a little too much of a gunslinger at times. Off the field there are incidents like the motorcycle crash sans helmet, singing altered versions of Christmas classics with questionable lyrics in public, and that (probably bogus) sexual assault allegation. The RAW appearance could lead into some not so positive situations.
As for McMahon, the whole guest host gimmick has irked a few fans who really just want to see good pro wrestling. It's sad when the average ten minute or so CHIKARA Podcast-A-Go-Go has better action than a two-hour RAW broadcast. Maybe if Vince McMahon would work on that more ratings would improve. That and stop shoving talentless box of kittens Randi Orton down fan's throats, but that's another story.

Like father, like son? Think about it

Store this image for a future adult beverage commercial. At least the part with Junior in it.

The saddest thing on the Internet right now

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. There's really no way to describe how sad this is. It just is:

Which came first, the commercial or the game?

Matt Ryan's new commercial for Gillette Fusion MVP. Guess which team the opposing team is?

You'd think he'd be able to put two and two together there. Here's a little behind the scene's action:

Well, at least it's better than the AirTran commercial.

Monday, September 28, 2009

The case for Greg McElroy

Now that Ryan Mallett has safely been put in the pretender's category, it looks like Alabama's Greg McElroy is next SEC Quarterback De Jour. And honestly, McElroy has a good argument with being first in the SEC in passing, and third in the nation.
Dr. Saturday's Matt Hinton is already propping up McElroy with a rundown of his stats and his apparent deep-threat passing abilities. Certainly Alabama's record helps McElroy's case. The Tide has a victory against Virginia Tech. The true test will be if the Tide gets to the SEC Championship in December, where a showdown with Florida is in all probability on the the horizon (yeah, like Georgia's gonna be there. Child, please).
Still, McElroy hasn't shown the kind of larger than life aura that Tebow has (I said aura, not halo. Shut up). He's flown most of the season under the radar. It will take a major game to bump up his national status. And the Heisman is probably not in the picture this year, with Tebow and Colt McCoy being the top contenders. Still, McElroy and the Tide may well be the one team that spoils The Gators perfect season. But that's a great big "may." The season's still young any many a missteps are still out there.

Tebow concussion jokes (almost) not funny

I wonder if Tim Tebow saw his future six months from now when he was unconscious?
Okay, I got that one out of my system. I suck for finding humor in Tebow's concussion. If it were any worse I'd obviously not make light of his condition. And if it weren't for having watched FlashForward last week I probably wouldn't have come up with that.
Anyhow, that's probably the least of the Tebow jokes you've heard this weekend. And no, I'm not going to repeat the other ones. Not that they were bad, but they just tended to fall on the sacrilegious side of things. If you know about Tebow I guess you can figure out where those went. The ironic thing there is that I've heard two different sermons in the past month at two different Churches that dealt with taking God's Name in vain. I'm not going to even try to figure out that one.
As it is, the concussion might keep Tebow out of the LSU game in a couple of weeks. Those things can be pretty dangerous if not treated correctly. It's been suggested multiple concussions were partly the cause of Chris Benoit's murder-suicide of himself and his family. The NFL has also taking heat in recent years over players with head injuries. A more serious situation would keep the bad jokes off the radar for a while. But they'd show up sooner of later.
It's a dark side of human nature to deal with chaotic events with dark humor. Knowing what's permissible and what's not is a pretty tricky slope to navigate, especially in life or death situations. It's used to alleviate tension but it can cause much more when used in the wrong way. Knowing which situation is which is the tricky part.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Hawkeyes Pierce Penn State's BCS chances. And other BCS observations.

Chalk up another Top 5 team getting upset. The Iowa Hawkeyes upset Penn State by coming from behind in the fourth quarter. This coming on a day where the BCS picture got hazy with Miami lost to Va. Tech, and an already sick Tim Tebow went down with a possible concussion. The fun part of the rankings coming out will be to see if Boise State goes in the Top 5, or if Oklahoma and/or Va. Tech somehow end up leap-frogging them.

You can't spell f-a-i-l-U-r-e without the "U"

Okay, I'm going to get the obvious smarty pants comment out of the way: Miami calls it's team the Hurricanes, but they get clobbered in a rain storm against Virginia Tech? If it were a closer game, they might get a mulligan due to the atmospheric conditions. But the Hokies trounced the 'Canes 31-7. Rain's been an issue all day on the east coast, with close games (as of 10:14 ET) in Iowa/Penn St. and Arizona St./UGA. But Va. Tech had no problem with processing the 'Canes. What gives? Has Univ. of Miami President (and former Clintonista) Donna Shalala, wussiffied The U that much?
At least one potential Freudian Nightmare seems to be a little farther in the distance now: Jacory Harris' threat to wear a pink suit complete with pimp cup to the Heisman ceremony looks like it might be premature.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Today's QB de jour: Ryan Mallett

Now that Ole Miss's Jevan Snead's been exposed in Thursday's loss to South Carolina, it looks like ESPN has found another pretender to the throne of "Best Quarterback in the SEC." You know, the one with the words "Property of Timothy Richard Tebow" engraved in it?
Well that didn't stop ESPN from asking Friday night if Arkansas' Ryan Mallett is worthy of the title. Sure, had five touchdowns against Georgia. But a troop of Girl Scouts could do the same thing (and even if they lost, they'd beat the spread). Any genuine claim to the title is going to have to roll through Alabama (if you should pardon the expression).The Tide has the third best defense in the country, so don't expect a lot of TD's this weekend from Mallett.
Anyway the point is mute, unless Tebow's the best QB in the SEC at the moment, and it's going to be pretty hard to knock him off that perch at the moment (about as hard as it is to admit it's the truth. Arkansas plays the Gators in The Swamp on October 17, so the best chance for Mallett to stake his claim is there. It's doubtful that Tebow is going to take any challenge lying down, so don't hold your breath. Heck, there's a chance I'll start refusing to call him "Ryan" by the end of tomorrow night (you'll just have to read this to explain that one
The good news Mallett's a sophomore, and he might well be in line for the title when Tebow run at Florida is done at the end of the season. And if Mallett tanks like Snead did Thursday don't say I didn't try to warn you. And don't start claiming that Joe Cox is the Best SEC QB either.

Lane Kiffin move over. Bruce Pearl's back in contention for "Vols' Most Embarrassing Coach"

I guess Tennessee basketball coach Bruce Pearl decided Lane Kiffin has gotten too far ahead in the "Let's embarrass our school" competition and decided to get back in the game. Sadly this time it's sort of backfired. Pearl has had to apologize for this little gem:

“I’ve got a tough job. I’ve got to put these guys from different worlds together, right? I’ve got guys from Chicago, Detroit. I’m talking about the ‘hood! And I’ve got guys from Grainger County, where they wear the hood!”

Yeah, not a smart move there. There's not enough body paint in the world to cover this one up. If you want to hear Pearl's joke in all it's uh, glory, click here.

Falcons @ Patriots: A Sort of Homecoming

The only NFL game that stands out this Sunday for all the good reasons is Atlanta @ New England. The Falcons take a 2-0 record into Foxborough against a Patriots team reeling from a loss against the Jets, key injuries, and a still shaking off the cobwebs Tom Brady. It marks the return of last year's Offensive Rookie of the Year Matt Ryan to a Boston area that allegedly didn't even know he was there. Now he comes back as both Falcons QB and the scientifically proven Handsomest Quarterback in the NFL. Not that Brady's really sweating his posistion as America's Mancrush or anything. He's too busy trying to right a ship that really hasn't been working on all engines this season.
That could all change this weekend. The Falcons' defense is still very young and reeling from the loss of first round draft pick Perria Jerry for the season. And while Ryan has shown a lot of growth and has built up strong chemestry in a short period with Tony Gonzalez, Brady has the advantage of maturity on his side, and the evil genius of Bill Belichick on the sidelines. Should make for an interesting game.

Guess there will be a team MISSing from the Top 5 next week

Yeah, that #4 ranking was a tad too high it seems.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Nominees

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has announced the nominees for enshrinement in 2010. They are:ABBA,The Chantels,Jimmy Cliff,Genesis,The Hollies,KISS,LL Cool J,Darlene Love,Laura Nyro,Red Hot Chili Peppers,The Stooges,and Donna Summer. Five of the twelve will will be inducted in 2010.
Who should be inducted: The Hollies hands down. Why they're not already in there I have no clue. Besides introducing the world to Graham Nash, they had a dozen Top 40 hits including "Bus Stop" and "Long Cool Woman (In a Black Dress)". Darlene Love should be in just for her contributions on A Christmas Gift for You, (including "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)")
Who should've been nominated: The B-52's, Jimmy Buffett, Joy Division/New Order, The Moody Blues, The Cure, Depeche Mode

Bobby Cox to retire in 2010. 2010 can't come too soon

Bobby Cox will retire at the end of the 2010 baseball season. Sadly, it's only the closing days of the 2009 season. Don't get me wrong. Bobby Cox is obviously the best manager the Braves have ever had. It's just that this should have happened a couple of seasons ago it seems. Cox still manages the way he did in the 1990's for the most part. But that style has become harder and harder to be successful while other teams have been catching up to the Braves, and eventually passed them by.
Then there are the little idiosyncrasies that may or may not have cost the Braves any number of National League and World Series titles. Too dependent on the three man pitching rotation in the playoffs. Oddball starting lineups. Putting in fair to middling veterans instead of hot rookies and younger players.
The even worse part about this is that Braves fans are stuck with another year of HarryTerry Pendleton and LloydRoger McDowell, alleged hitting and pitching coaches respectfully. While McDowell arguably gets a mulligan for having pitching staffs who were injured over the past few years, you'd have to question the level of conditioning the pitching staff is expected to be at. I'll just say here have been any number of Braves' relief pitchers who need to be barred for Golden Corral. As for Pendleton, well that was pretty much said here.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Needless Hollywood Remake of the Week

Ain't It Cool News
is reporting that there's a remake of Highlander in the works. Just in case you don't know Highlander is the story of an immortal Scottish warrior who fights other immortal warriors to the death. Well, immortal until you behead them. It's pretty much an overrated cult film starring Christopher Lambert as the title character (Connor MacLeod) and Sean Connery as his mentor. It inspired a TV series and even an animated cartoon. It's also known for a sound sprinkled with Queen songs like "Princes of the Universe".

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Tuesday Late Night Fail: Goober with hat sings of the glories of Baylor

Baylor University apparently has a large selection of majors for their student body to choose from. Sadly, it appears music composition isn't one of them.

I was going to say something about the hat, but it kinda just says it all by itself.


When bad commercials happen to good quarterbacks

If you haven't seen Matt Ryan's commercial for Air Tran that's been running (at least during the Atlanta games)...well, I hate to do this to you:

Not quite a Peyton Manning Priceless Pep Talk there.

And a Baseball Diamond Runs Through It, Part Deux

Another edition of Monday Night Football, another football field spoiled by the imprint of a baseball diamond. This one courtesy of the Miami Dolphins and their sadly named Land Shark Stadium (the ex-Dolphin Pro Player/Joe Robbie Stadium). This one might actually hurt worse than last week's Chargers-Raiders game in Oakland, since the Dolphins don't really deserve it as much. They're forced for share a stadium with The Florida Marlins until 2012, when the the baseball fish are scheduled to move into a new stadium.
Even worse for the Dolphins: Thanks to a naming rights deal with Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville, the stadium is tagged with the moniker Land Shark Stadium, after a lager with the same Land Shark name. Epic fail. Jimmy Buffett has the right to buy the naming rights to a stadium to promote an adult beverage. But seriously, why not name it Margaritaville Stadium? The sales from the merchandise would be more profitable than the beer ever would. A t-shirt with the words "Margaritaville Stadium" = license to print money.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Oh Rock where art thou?

Hearing of an upcoming film where Dwayne Johnson (aka "The Actor Formally Known As The Rock") portrays a hockey player should bring the "Aw Heck Yeah!" in any red-blooded American male. But after reading the plot of The Tooth Hurts, it's more like a "Aw Heck!"
Greg Wyshynski's Puck Daddy blog reveals the sad truth. The Rock Dwayne Johnson will be playing a minor-league hockey player forced to become a tooth fairy for a week. Not even The Tooth Fairy, just a tooth fairy, at least from what Johnson says in an interview for Parade. This plot sounds crappier than even some of the plots from the movies produced by Johnson's former employer The WWE.

From the "This Isn't Going To End Well" Dept:.

Fanhouse reports Georgia Bulldog legend and former NFL player Herschel Walker is going to try his hands at MMA. He's inked a deal with Strikeforce, the MMA promotion that just signed a deal with CBS and features Fedor Emelianenko on the roster. Walker claims to be a "sixth-degree black belt in taekwondo", but he's going to be up against...well, no work who he's going to be up against, but it doesn't sound like this is going to turn out well for him. And no, I'm not looking forward to Walker going up agianst The Green/White Power Ranger either.

Terry Pendleton for Braves' Manager? Heck No!

Mark Bradley, sports columnist for the alleged newspaper the Atlanta Journal-Constitution has put out a list of possible successors to Atlanta Braves' manager Bobby Cox should he step down at the end of the year (and he should). His five picks are: Brad Mills (bench coach for the Red Sox), Jose Oquendo and Dave Duncan (Cardinals third base coach and pitching coach respectively), Terry Pendleton (Braves intern hitting coach), and Twins third base coach Scott Ullger.
Two words on Terry Pendleton: Heck no! It doesn't take a baseball genius to tell you the reason the Braves' have pretty much underperformed the past couple of years is because of the hitting. The Braves leave too many men on base, are too home run dependent, and too dependent on Chipper Jones and Brian McCann being healthy and hitting at the same time. It's the reason the Braves are closer to mathematical elimination than to the wild card right now.
Want proof Pendleton's incompetent? Look at Jeff Francoeur, an alleged phenom who lost steam over the past couple of years.The Braves ended up trading him for Ryan Church, a person unworthy of the name "Ryan". (Ryan's the name of heroes and winners. Matt Ryan,Nolan Ryan, Ryan Conklin, but I digress.) Francoeur's had a pretty good run with a Mets team that hasn't seen a lot of good days this year. Church has missed quite a few games for injury and has really hasn't been a spectacular acquisition in the first place. Gee, Pendleton's sure helped his game.
The Braves really need to go outside the team for a new manager. Bobby Cox's style might have worked in the last years of last century, but has underperformed to just plain failed in this one. Picking his intern hitting coach isn't going to bring the glory days of all those division playoffs any time soon.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

NFL: Three things we learned in Week Two

1. Jay Cutler has zero charisma. Maybe even negative charisma. Win or lose, you're just not going to get much personality-wise. He'd make a great Black Lantern Zombie.
2. Jacksonville is well on it's way to getting that shot at Tim Tebow in the draft. The biggest things that are standing in the Jags' way right now are four other 0-2 teams on their schedule (Tennessee (twice), St. Louis, Kansas City, and Cleveland) plus Miami, who could be 0-2 by tomorrow night. The only other roadblock seems to be Carolina, but they did show signs of life against in a 28-20 loss to the Falcons. A few wins there might put them out of contention.
3. A billion dollars was spent building the Heathen Temple of Jerry Jones Avarice. Expect Jerry to spend at least that much on a team next year if the 2010 season is uncapped.

Florida beats Tennessee 23-13. Loser: Georgia?

Everyone expecting Urban Meyer and the Gators to mutilate Lane Kiffin and the Vols had to be disappointed in the outcome of the game. Especially if they actually but money on Florida actually winning by +30. As it happened, The Gators only landed down a 23-13 beating as opposed to last year's Gator 49-10 manhandling of Georgia Credit there probably has to go to Lane's dad, Monte Kiffin, who has taken over Tennessee's defense.
While Tennessee came out short, it might turn out that Georgia is the real loser in this game. The conventional wisdom leading before the game was that Meyer would unleash the hounds...uh, Gators to decimate the Vols in reaction to Kiffin's prodding of Meyer and Florida during the offseason. The precedent for this was how Florida clobbered Georgia last year 49-10, allegedly in response to last year's Georgia victory/touchdown celebration. The fact that Tennessee didn't get blown out makes Georgia look even worse in hindsight.
If anything this game shows that Monte Kiffin may be a better defensive coordinator than UGA's Willie Martinez. Dawg fans were already upset over how Martinez's defense has pretty much underperformed in the past few years. Tennessee has had two straight close losses this year, but Georgia's 2-1, with the opposing team finding it easier to rack points than they should. Martinez doesn't have Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno to depend on to score on the offense. He may not have a job at the end of the year.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Colin Cowherd flip-flop watch

Colin Cowherd changes his mind like a girl changes clothes. I remember how he used to anti Brett Favre and pro Michel Vick. These days its the other way around. He's switched sides on the MLB salary cap issue at least once or twice. Cowherd's a radio player at best and a band wagoner at worst.
Which brings us to today's losses by BYU and Utah. Cowherd proclaimed that the Mountain West Conference deserved a place among the BCS elite after BYU upset Oklahoma. Today, with BYU falling to FSU, and Utah losing to Oregon, I fully expect him to flip-flop his views on Monday. Tuesday at the latest. He's gonna claim that the Mountain West doesn't deserve a permanent BCS spot, just watch.

CBS tries it's hand at MMA again

Looks like CBS is trying to get back into the MMA game again with Strikeforce and FedorEmelianenko, according to Dave Meltzer. This after the infamous Elite XC fight between Seth Petruzelli and Kimbo Slice which lasted fourteen seconds. CBS will show the fight between Emelianenko and Brett Rodgers on November 7 from 9-11 ET. Even with Emelianenko, CBS is taking a risk after the Elite XC debacle. Emelianenko, while known to the MMA world, is barely known to the American public.
The majority of the American viewing public has accepted UFC as it's source of MMA and not much of anything else (WEC is owned by UFC's parent company Zuffa, so it doesn't count). Emelianenko may be the best fighter in the world, but he's not the best known in the US. It might have been a wiser move for CBS to sign a deal with UFC instead of the smaller promotions.

Friday, September 18, 2009

It had to happen: Shirts With Random Triangles vs. Jim Mora Sr. vs. Jay Cutler

It's not surprising that it took several days for the Jim Mora Sr.-Jay Cutler dust-up to blow up in the media. Mora's comments about Cutler's remarks after the Bears' loss to the Steelers came Monday on the NFL Network's The Head Coaches, which most of America can't see due to The League's headstrongness over cable deals. Mora called Cutler "completely immature" in when it came to Culter's demeanor at the press conference. Wait...Jim Mora complaining about behavior at a press conference? Does the word "Playoffs" ring a bell. There's a reason a certain adult beverage company built not one but two commercials around his press conference meltdowns. Including one that inspired some worthless blog's name.
Besides, what are people expecting from Cutler...a Tim Tebow moment? Just admit it, Cutler isn't charismatic. He won't be doing any Direct TV commercials anytime soon. You won't be seeing Cutler and Urlacher taking on the Mannings in those dumb Oreo commercials (Double Stuff, whatever).

Friday Morning Fail:Guitar Hero for Commodore 64

Courtesy of your friends at Deadspin, this clip screams of futility. Somebody created a Guitar Hero knockoff for a Commodore 64.

Imagine what he could've done if he just had Mario Paint...

Thursday, September 17, 2009

USC likes to sing "Lean on Me", and ESPN likes to report on it.

Okay, okay,I get it, ESPN...the USC Trojans like to sing "Lean on Me". It's about 11:40PM right now and I've watched the story about Bill Withers coming meet the team. Trouble is it's like the third or fourth time ESPN's ran the piece since Saturday! It a real heartwarming story seeing a football team getting into in to something other Soulja Boy (looks at UGA). But three or four times in a week, C'mon, Man!
Anyway, PeteCarollTV over at YouTube has the whole meeting between Withers and the Men of Troy there. And trust me, it's way cooler than any packaged into a three minute segment inch of it's life segment could ever be. Especially Withers words at the end. go there, or just watch it here:

What? Georgia Tech again?

For the second week in a row, ESPN is shoving down out throats blessing us with another game featuring the North Avenue Trade School Georgia Institute of Technology. Mind you, Tech vs. Miami is a shade better than Clemson on paper. In real life...well, time will tell if Tech chokes away a strong first half lead again this week, only to barely come back to win.
And if that wasn't enough, remember the lame Ga. Tech rap video from last week?

Well, hate to do this to you, but here's the 2008 version.

Memphis wants in the BCS: don't hold your breath

Credit must by given to the University of Memphis. Even after months of turmoil in the men's basketball program, the school has delusions visions of grandeur. Tom Dienhart of Yahoo! Sports reports that Memphis is seeking to join a "Big Six" (aka BCS) conference. This after former head basketball coach John Calipari bolted for Kentucky, and the school's greatest athletic achievement was erased from the record books following the Derrick Rose SAT scandal. Commercial Appeal reports Memphis has even gone as far as hiring former Big East Commisioner Mike Tranghese as a consultant to campaign for it's cause. Mind you, the Big East (much less anybody else) doesn't seem to be interested in expansion at the moment. And while Memphis might in the realm of possibility be on a short list for membership, there's all that baggage to consider. Plus Memphis' football program isn't actually ready for prime time (the BCS) either.

Your What The...Moment for Thursday: My Little Pony

Just when you think you've heard and seen everything in geek culture someone turns over a rock and uncovers a whole new level of weird. Take Laura Hudson at Comics Alliance, for example. She's uncovered a group of people who customize My Little Pony figures in to super-heroes and villains. Yeah, I know, people have too much time on their hands.
And if that weren't enough, here's the sad story of a hapless troll and his experience on a My Little Pony Message Board, courtesy of Peeing in the Wind.


Bad news America: There's a chance Michigan's Tate Forcier is going to be on the college football scene for a while, and with him a gosh-awful almost limitless amount of puns and plays on his last name. Matt Hinton of Dr. Saturday fame came up with a list of twenty puns on Forcier, including "A Forcier to Be Reckoned With" and "Air Forcier". His readers came up with a few more gems including "Forcier Majeure" (at least that almost passes for funny). Luckily, no one has come up with "Magnum Forcier" or "X-Forcier" yet...shoot, I just did.

Draft Tebow: A new milestone in pathetic

The NFL season is barely a week and a half old and there's already a movement in Jacksonville to draft Tim Tebow next year.There's even a website dedicated to it. (Not much of one, and I didn't there a site on the web more pathetic than here). Unfortunately for Jaguar fans, their team might not suck enough to get a shot at drafting Tebow, according to Shutdown Corner's Matthew J. Darnell. What's worse: even Tebow might not be enough to save the franchise from moving.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

What's this?

Geico money Pictures, Images and Photos

This is the money Tennessee could've saved by not spending it on that stupid "Eric Berry for Heisman" Campaign.

Chad (Johnson) opens his mouth, and doesn't really say much.

Chad (Johnson) is suggesting that he might just celebrate a touchdown in this Sundays Bengals-Packers game in Lambeau Field. Yeah, that's really smart idea to foreshadow that one there. The Packer faithful are sure to give (Johnson) a warm welcome. Nice job there, (Johnson). Now you're precious cunning stunt will be more anti-climatic.

What America needs is a good tables, ladders and chairs match

Linda McMahon is leaving her role as CEO of the WWE in an attempt to represent Connecticut in the U.S. Senate. She will be seeking the the Republican nomination to face incumbent Christopher Dodd (a Democrat). McMahon gave the usual "out of control" statement about D.C. This coming days after former WWE Champion Jeff Hardy was arrested on drug possession charges. The family values side of the GOP is just gonna love this one.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Well, this didn't take long! (But it probably should have!)

All I'm gonna say is...Lane Kiffin + Patrick Swayze+Every Day Should Be Saturday=Well, you've been warned...

Thieves steal Cal Ripken's number in an increasing series of lameness

It's hard to decide which is worse:

a)That four drunk goobers young men allegedlycommemorating the career of Baltimore Oriole legend Cal Ripken at Camden Yards under the influence of alcohol stole an aluminum no. 8 , and were caught almost as soon as they did the deed. Or...

b)The fact Cal Ripken was "honored" with aluminum no. 8 as opposed to an actual statue! C'mon! Is Baltimore in that bad of a shape that they can't even afford to give the most famous Oriole of all time an actual statue? It took forever, but at least they put up a statue in honor of Hank Aaron in Atlanta. for crying out loud. Other than the plaque underneath, that 8 could mean anything. It's as generic as generic can get. Here's the proof:

Yeah, really inspiring sculpture there. The Orioles are responsible for the numbers commemorating various players such as Ripken, Eddie Murray, and Brooks Robinson. You would think they could do a little better job honoring their history than with what fails to pass as public artwork.

And a baseball diamond runs through it.

Is there anything sadder than a football field with a baseball diamond running through it? Last night's Chargers-Raiders game might have ended in heartbreak for Raider Fan, but it can't be as bad as the shame Raider Fan must feel seeing an otherwise beautiful green football field violated by a the brown dirt of the Oakland A's baseball diamond. No amount of black and silver face paint or Darth Vader masks can cover that up. It's not even Two Thousand's Nineteen Eighty-Late.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Chris Myers mouth moves faster than his brain

The weekend plague of celebrities opening their mouths before actually thinking seems to be spreading. Michael Jordan, Serena Williams,Kanye West...and now FOX's Chris Myers can officially be added to the list. (Gee, a FOX employee says something stupid. What a shocker). TMZ reports Myers as comparing linebacker Larry Foote's move from Pittsburgh to Detroit to " going from dating Beyonce to Whoopi Goldburg."
So, is Myers comparing Foote to Ted Danson?

Rambo goes sci-fi

Ain't It Cool News dropped this little bit of news to the world
: Another Rambo movie, complete with voice mail from Sly Stallone himself. With this one being something more of a sf/horror film where Rambo fights a "feral beast" as opposed to killing dirty Commies. Yep, that's looking forward to.
Seriously, there is really only one Rambo movie I really want to see. And it can be done. We have the technology...






And go ahead and try to tell me that you wouldn't want to see this one too.

VMAs: What's a five letter word that rhymes with brick? Oh, I know...Kanye!

Seriously, Kanye West has FUBARed big time. West's little on stage interruption of Taylor Swift's VMA acceptance speech is gonna go down some where between Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" and Sinead O'Connor ripping up a photo of Pope John Paul II in the annals of career suicide. It's a dumb move in a decade of dumb moves (Dixie Chicks anyone?).
Other than that, the VMAs continued it's steady decline of relevance. From the mostly underwhelming Michael Jackson tribute (barely rescued by Janet's on stage recreation of the "Scream" video with footage of Michael on a screen) to the time wasted for the New Moon trailer, the continued downslide of what was once the best awards program is a show of how far MTV has slip from it's music roots.
The main problem is the lack of rock. Not to disparage hip-hop and rap, but the absence of popular rock acts over the past few years has been noticeable. While maybe two or three acts have performed in recent years, they were mostly up and coming bands that were on the alternative side of the spectrum, such as Fall Out Boy or Panic! At the Disco. Who hasn't been there? Nickelback, 3 Doors Down, Lifehouse and other bands that were either too "mainstream" or already established. Even back in the days of the last 90's/early 2K's MTV skipped over bands like Matchbox 20, Creed, Third Eye Blind, and other groups who were closer to mainstream than whatever brand of "alternative" was hot at the moment. Green Day and Muse were there this year, but that basically meant one rock band that most of America has heard of was on stage. Muse may be on the cusp of popularity here, but it's not quite there yet.
In other words there are two simple things to do to make the VMA's better next year 1)More rock, 2)Forget to send Kanye West's invitation in the mail, and 3)Don't invite Russell Brand either. Wait,that's three, THREE things to do to make the VMA's better next year.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Pac-Man fever still driving people crazy.

Kotako reports the record for the fastest perfect Pac-Man game (where all dots, blue ghosts, fruits, keys, etc. are eaten until the game's notorious killscreen occurs after 256 levels) has been broken by David Race with a game lasting 3 hours, 41 minutes, and 22 seconds. The original perfect Pac-Man game (where all dots, blue ghosts, fruits, keys, etc. are eaten until the game's notorious kill screen occurs after 256 levels). The original perfect Pac-Man game was accomplished on record by Billy Mitchell, who was profiled in the documentary The King of Kong.
Whether the title "King of Pac-Man" now goes to Race is not known, but if there is, this should be his throne, via Gizmodiva.

Quick NFL thoughts

Random NFL thoughts:

The Falcons defense looked better than expected in their 19-7 win against the Dolphins . This against last year's AFC East champs. Jason Elam unexpectedly struggled though. The only explanation is that Islamic Fascists kidnapped him and replaced him with an impostor. Quick, someone call Riley Covington.

Donovan McNabb goes down in the first game of the season with a cracked rib in the 3rd quarter. Yet the Eagles still beat the Panthers 38-10 with backup Kevin Kolb, while Michael Vick looked on in Jeffery Lurie's suite in Charlotte . Let the Quarterback Controversy begin.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Houston 45 , Oklahoma State 35

Sports Illustrated cover curse?

What Sports Illustrated cover curse?

Today's What The...Moment: Michael Stipe+Tom Hanks=Barry Manilow?

Empire is reporting that R.E.M.'s Michael Stipe and Tom Hanks are teaming up for a Barry Manilow biopic, of all things. Okay, mabye that's not too much of a stretch, but we won't go there (especially with GLAAD on the warpath) . But seriously, if Neil Patrick Harris ain't at the top of the list to play Manilow don't even think you're gonna get me to willing to punch a hole in the mancard for this one.

More on Bob Arum: GLAAD ain't too happy with Arum

Looks like Bob Arum's anti-MMA rant has angered all the wrong people, and we're not talking about the "skinhead white guys" . GLAAD has asked Arum for an apology over the "Guys rolling around like homosexuals on the ground" comment he made to Fanhouse's Ariel Helwani. This has gone from something that could annoy a few fans of MMA to possibly falling into the "things that could really explode into a load of bad publicity if the mainstream media got their hands on it". Don't be shocked if this isn't on Outside The Lines by the end of the week.

Who to root for: USC vs. Ohio State

Well the day has finally come: USC goes to Ohio State for a football game of epic proportions. Or at least the possibility of seeing epic failure. If you're having trouble finding a team to root for int this game here's a few fact to guide your decision.

Reason to root for:
Freshman Matt Barkley was 15-19 last week in his debut as USC quarterback.

Reason to root against:
Colin Cowherd's obnoxious manlove or USC and Pete Caroll.

Reason to root for:
Colin Cowhere's obnoxious manlove for USC and Pete Caroll.
Reason to root against:
Terelle Pryor's comments on Michael Vick. Seriously, if Pryor wants to support Vick, go help him with his anti-dog fighting campaign. That would say a lot more than eye-black ever will.

Bob Arum: MMA

The big news from Top Rank Boxing's Bob Arum's press conference in Yankee Stadium should've been either a)the announcement of a fight between Manny Pacquiao and Miguel Cotto in Las Vegas on Nov. 14, b)The possibility of an actual boxing event at Yankee Stadium in 2010 or c) Arum's slamming of Floyd Mayweather. But nope. What seems to be the buzz is an interview of Arum by Fanhouse's Ariel Helwani where he refers to both MMA fighters and its audience as "skinhead white guys", then later described an MMA fight as being "Guys rolling around like homosexuals on the ground".
Arum's obviously never heard of either Quinton "Rampage" Jackson or Rashad Evans, but that's neither here nor there. Anyhow, the interview is right here. Fireworks begin around the 4:00 mark.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Apparently the North Avenue Trade School now has classes in video production

I seriously doubt this will be replacing "I'm a Ramblin' Wreck From Georgia Tech" anytime soon.

This is why you're fat: Football-shaped french toast

Is French toast the most overrated breakfast food or what? It's like bread soaked in a milk and egg mixture. Yummy. French toast, English muffins, Belgian waffles...any breakfast food created in Europe is pretty much overrated. Americans, we created Cheerios, Frosted Flakes, and Cinammon Toast Crunch. We win. Heck, Crispix beats French toast about any morning.
Seriously, cinnamon toast kicks French toast's butt more times than Germany kicked France's butt in real life. Anyhow, IHOP is promoting it's new NFL themed menu, featuring "Quarterback Scrambles" (what's called "scrambled eggs" in the real world), and "AFC/NFC Stuffed French Toast", which is French toast in the shape of a football, and stuffed with who knows what. A football-shaped piece of French toast...not quite the breakfast of champions there.

ESPN has a Dierks Bentley moment: Rick Reilly co-anchors Sportscenter

While the world was meeting with that "Candy colored clown they call The Sandman" in the early hours of Friday morning, ESPN was giving their own candy colored clown Rick Reilly a chance to host Sportscenter. Apparently Dierks Bentley now works in ESPN upper management, since this fits perfectly as a "What Was I Thinking?" moment. Deadspin has a clip with the damage done. Let's just say Reilly's performance wasn't quite the magic of the old Dan Patrick-Keith Olbermann days.

UPDATE: Hey why do to Deadspin when you can see it here? Thanls to Awful Announcing for pointing out where to find this.

Ohmygosh! Adrian Peterson's a...a...a...a Reptilian!

Quick! Someone call George Noory!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

9/10/09: Clemson @ Georgia Tech: Who to root for...and against?

Week Two of the 2009 football season kicks off with an epic ACC slugfest between...oh, who are we kidding? It's Clemson and Georgia Tech. Unless your team is one of these schools rivals, there's really no clear side to take on in this fight. So SWRT gives you a couple of reasons to root for and against each team.

Reason to root for : Running Back C.J. Spiller was listed as the nation's top senior RB prospect by's Gil Brandt.

Reason to root against: Head coach Dabo Swinney's name sounds like an obscure Star Wars character.

Reason to root for: Paul Johnson did an outstanding job as first year Yellowjackets coach, going 9-4 and pretty much wiping away most of the misery of the Chan Gailey era.

Reason to root against: That it took six years to figure out Chan Gailey sucked as a head coach. This after his crappy stint as Dallas Cowboy's coach. And this is where the smart kids go in the Peach State?

More Joe Cox Drama

As if Wednesday's Joe Cox drama queen moment wasn't bad enough, today has been all about conflicting reports on whether Cox would be starting in this weekend's game against the South Carolina Gamecocks. At the moment the reports seem to fall into the "Yes he will start" dept. Though earlier reports had backup Logan Gray practicing with the first squad, with Cox having some kind of arm problems. Either way, this really doesn't help Cox much, as yesterday's little tantrum was showing a lack of demeanor a starting senior QB is supposed to have.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Joe Cox thinks you should just shut up

More proof that the Joe Cox era at UGA will not be a happy one. Or maybe a long one for that matter:
Here is young Mr. Cox answering his critics in the Athens Banner-Herald:

"Half the people who have stuff to say after games have never played a down of football before in their entire life," said Cox, who completed 15 of 30 passes for 162 yards with a touchdown, an interception and a lost fumble. "I wouldn't criticize somebody for something I've never played before or never done before, but some people feel it's their place to say how somebody is doing when they've never done it before. That's just something I've never understood.

"Stuff like that doesn't bother me. You've got to look at the source, and if it's somebody who's never played football, I could care less what you say."

Well if people did that the Internet would be extinct. Ditto for sports talk radio.

Obviously, Cox hasn't been to the Tim Tebow School of Turning a Hissy Fit Into a Motivational Speech. This would do down as a rookie mistake if it weren't for the fact that Cox is a senior. Seriously, he's had a long time to come up with what to say for that first inevitable loss, and this is what he comes up with? Absolutely weak.

Every time Peyton Manning makes an Oreo commercial a small piece of my soul dies

Peyton Manning may be the greatest commercial spokesman of our time. His Master Card commercials are absolute pieces of art (and the Priceless Pep Talk on "Feeling Old" makes a great online birthday message.). His Direct TV commercials are right up there, especially the one with the cheerleaders .
But there's one product that Peyton endorses whose commercials speak of an epic fail greater than the human mind can manage to contemplate: Double Stuff Oreos.
It had nothing to do with the quality of Double Stuff Oreos. Trust me, I've fiddled with the middle more than once in my lifetime. It's just the mind-nummingness of the idea that Peyton Manning would do something so beneath himself like a "Double Stuff Racing League". I remember watching the first DSOL commercial. It was like seeing Sting wearing the bellboy uniform in Quadrophenia.
At least the ones with the Williams Sisters had promise, but the final showdown between Peyton/Eli and Venus/Serena was a screwjob worthy of a Survivor Series PPV. Now comes the latest round of embarrassment featuring not only Donald Trump, but Darrell Hammond as his evil twin/clone/life-size Mini-Me.
Why Peyton needs this particular endorsement is beyond all reason. It certainly isn't for the money or the glory. The only possible reason could be is that he's helping out his little brother Eli begin his commercial endorsement career. At least Eli is comepetent enough to steal Peyton's thunder once in awhile. That "Eighteen chatterbox left" comment was funny.
But that's beside the point. Where Peyton's other commercials have bought countless moments of laughter and joy, the DSOL commercials bring nothing but mind-numbing sadness. Long nights have been spent contemplating the cosmic ramifications of these spots...or at least the playoff ramifications. Even thinking of them makes me want to go off and console myself...with a package of Nutter Butters.

Andy Roddick needs a makever

Andy Roddick's latest ouster from the US Open really needs to be commented on, even if it is a few days late. First his epic chokejob loss at the hands of Roger Federer at Wimbledon in July, and now he got upset by John Isner in the third round at the US Open.
Andy's problem is that he really needs an on-the-court makeover. With a look that's a little more appropriate for his level of play.

Something like this:

Or maybe a little something like this:

Either one will fit Andy perfectly.

An apology for not blogging last weekend.

My computer got a virus last week, and was down for the start of the college football season. It really sucked, since last weekend was incredible start for the season with the Utah upset over the Sooners, Oklahoma State beating UGA, and that incredible Miami-FSU game. And SWTS had to wait on the sidelines while the Geek Squad was trying to fix the computer. With that in mind i'd like to give the following statement:

“To the fans and everybody in the Shirts With Random Triangles Nation, I’m sorry. I’m extremely sorry. I was hoping for an incredible first weekend of NCAA football coverage. That was my goal, something Shirts With Random Triangles has never done here.”

“I promise you one thing, a lot of good will come out of this. You will never see any blogger in the entire country blog as hard as I will blog the rest of the season. You will never see someone push the blog as hard as I will push this blog for the rest of the season.”

“You will never see a blogger try harder than this one will the rest of the season.”

“God Bless.”

Friday, September 4, 2009

Oregon @ Boise St.:Boy, that pre-game handshake is worked out real well!

Great idea there. Start a game with a handshake between opposing teams. End game with one player on the losing team punching a player from the winning team in the face. What the frak was Oregon RB LeGarrette Blount thinking punching Boise St. DE Byron Hout after the game? He's going to be lucky if he's still on the team by the time the morning comes.
And Boise St. is pretty foolish to think this game's going to lead to a BCS Championship . This game was real sloppy. The Broncos' missed several opportunities to score. Even beating a Pac-10 Team, they looked like The Not Ready for Prime Time Players at times. It wasn't really a dominating performance, at least not the kind needed to impress the voters in the polls. Depending on how things go this weekend, it may not be enough for the Top Ten.

Notre Dame:One virus leads to another

I tried to do a Google search on the on-field career of Tom Reynolds, the alledged former Notre Dame football player behind the now-removed billboard mocking ND Coach Charlie Weis. All I got was an attempted computer virus attack.

It's kind of appropriate. People like Reynolds are a virus to college sports.

Reynolds and his alledged group of 50 former players (none of whom have come out of the shadows) are the kind of fans who believe that winning is an entitlement. They do what they can to influence the direction of the programs they love. At best the results lead to ridicule. Like when Auburn sugar daddy Bobby Lauder and his crew's attempted to lure Bobby Petrino to Auburn when Tommy Tubberville was still coaching. (By the way, how's business doing at Colonial Bank, Bobby, oh yeah...) At worst, you get the kind of recruiting violations that tanked Alabama for years.

Luckily in this case, it's just an ex-player with neglible playing time making an spectacle of himself and embarrassing the Notre Dame. This at a time when an easy schedule could possibly lead up to BCS appearance. Nice timing there.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Senator Schilling: Is the dream over before it already began?

Well, after yesterday's story that Former Boston Red Sox pitcher/bleeding sock conservative Curt Schilling might be eying the late Ted Kennedy's seat in the US Senate may be premature. Schilling is now saying his chances of running are "slim to none." Which is sad because It Is High, It Is Far, It is...Caught had already come up with some 10 tough questions for Senate candidate Curt Schilling's town meetings .

Bad week for ex-college coaches in the NFL

It sucks if you're an ex-college head coach/current offensive coordinator in the NFL this week, because there is a good chance you'll soon be an ex-offensive coordinator. First The Kansas City Chiefs relieved r North Avenue Trade School Georgia Tech head coach/former Jerry Jones' sock puppet Cowboy's head coach Chan Gailey from his offensive coordinator duties. Now the Tampa Bay Buccaners have made former Boston College head coach Jeff Jagodzinski walk the plank.
It sucks twice as bad for Jagodzinski, as he was fired by BC for disobeying their orders and interwieving for the Jets. No word why he got let go, but it's possible that the Bucs decided any info they could get about having to deal with, Falcons QB Matt Ryan (a.k.a. the most handsome quarterback in the NFL ) who played under Jagodzinski's during his senior year wasn't worth it .

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Senator Schilling? Isn't Senator Al Franken bad enough?

Y'know, this blog wasn't really intended to get into politics, but ....dangit, Curt Schilling! You of the breaking of the curse and ketchup blood-soaked sock. You just had to go and open you mouth and suggest you might just wanna make a run at the late Teddy Kennedy's Senate seat.
From his ever-present blog 38 Pitches:

While my family is obviously the priority, and 38 Studios is a priority, I
do have some interest in the possibility. That being said, to get to there from
where I am today, many many things would have to align themselves for that to
truly happen. I am not going to comment further on the matter since at this
point it would be speculation on top of speculation.
My hope is that whatever
happens, and whomever it happens to, this state makes the decision and chooses
the best person, regardless of sex, race, religion or political affiliation, to
help get this state back to the place it deserves to be.

Could you have at least waited for to a little more time after the funeral to drop this happy little number on the people of Massachusetts?

Any way, the Yankee blog It Is High, It Is Far, It Is...Caught already has come up with some slogans for Schilling, including "CURT SCHILLING FOR SENATE!Anything to end that stupid blog, " and "I'M A BLEEDING HEART FOR CURT!He's a bleeding ankle for me!" you can read the rest if these little uh, gems here.

Signs, signs, everywhere signs...

Boy,do those Fightin' Irish alumni have a sense of humor! A group...well a guy named Tom Reynolds who claims to be spokesman for a group...has bought space on a billboard near the campus of Notre Dame. The billboard reads "Best wishes to Charlie Weiss in the 5th year of his college coaching internship - Linebacker Alumni."
Reynolds, who allegedly played for the Irish back in the day when they were too good for things like bowl games, claims to represent fifty former Irish players from the same highfalutin' era. He/they are threatening to wear shirts with the same message as the billboard to the Notre Dame opener against Nevada, which he is allegedly selling to defray the cost for the billboard. There's no evidence yet if these shirts (or the group) actually exist, or where the public can buy them.
As for Charlie Weiss' reaction? “I’m the head coach at Notre Dame — I mean, welcome to my world...Tell ‘em thanks a lot for wishing me best wishes. I heard about it, I haven’t seen it and we’ll just leave it at that.” Translation: He wants to take that billboard, polish it up, turn it sideways, and ...well, you get the drill.

Rodrigate continues.

It ain't getting better for Rich Rodriguez. An AP report claims that Rodriguez's business partner in that condo deal gone south was a Clemson booster named Clegg Lamar Greene. He had been banned by Clemson for what is referred to as minor infractions. Les Miles is probably writing his farewell speech to his players at LSU already.

Mid-week links. Some weaker than others.

The Ten Things I'm Dreading this College Football Season

1.The shoving down my throat that Tim Tebow is a greater person than you, me, Billy Graham, The Pope, The Dali Lama, Oprah, Donald Miller and Bono combined.

2.The fact that Georgia will probably suck this year.

3.The fact that Notre Dame will probably not suck this year.

4.Well, it’s not that Notre Dame might not suck as much as the fact that most of the teams on their schedule probably will.

5.Five words: “Not so fast my friend.”

6.That it won’t be long before rumors about Les Miles bolting LSU to replace Rich Rodriguez at Michigan start up.

7.Colin Cowherd’s obsessive manlove for USC alternating with his obsessive manlove for Tom Brady alternating with the obsessive manlove for himself.

8.The number of inevitable halftime tributes to Michael Jackson that will be heard at halftime coast to coast.

9.The fact that some WAC or Mountain West team is going to go 12-0 and still not get to the BCS championship even if both teams in the game are 11-1 or worse.

10. Knowing that it’s going to be January 7, 2010 before long. And knowing that I won’t be able to wait for this frakin’ carnival ride to start all over again.

Time thinks Dazzler and Howard the Duck are rather odd.

Just in time (no pun intended) for the Disney $4 billion purchase of Marvel comes Time's list of the "Top Ten Oddest Marvel Characters". Leaving no stone unturned, Time takes at such characters as Dazzler, Howard the Duck, and Ego the Living Planet. And yes, Squerell Girl gets a mention as one of the Great Lakes Avengers. Sadly, no mention of the Ben Reily the Spider-Clone, possibly one of the worst moments of Marvel history (especially since Kaine is reported to return in Amazing Spider-Man #608). Now, if only Time could pay more attention to DC Comics, the comic publisher that it's parent company owns once in a while, things might improve for the industry.

Ex-celeberty goes MMA.

Cue the Dragon Dagger:
Soon to be 36 year-0ld Mighty-Morphin Power Ranger star Jason David Frank (The original Green Power Ranger, who became the White Power Ranger who...oh, you get the picture) is ready to enter the cage as a real MMA fighter.

"I was supposed to fight in 2007, but it fell through. In truth, I’ve wanted to
put the work in until I’m ready," Frank said in an interview from the
Suckerpunch website. "I know I have a target on my back. Everyone is going to
want to beat up the Green Ranger. But I am no Kimbo; I’ve been training for a
very long time. I wanted to get in there before, but I got injured. But I’ll be
ready when the time comes."

Quick, someone call Dustin Diamond, we've got a new opponent for him.

(Thanks to Chris, e_galston, et al for the help)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Rubio ain't feeling Minnesota

Alleded Spanish basketball phenom Ricky Rubio has decided he'd rather play basketball in Barcelona than play for the Minnesota Timberwolves in the NBA. Why he would want to stay in Spainand skip the chance to play for millions of dollars in Minnesota is a mystery.

Nope, can't figure it out one bit.

$4,000 dollars of fail

Yahoo's Plugged In reports on a new $4,000 gaming system that's basically a home version of those multi-game consoles that you see sitting on bars across America. You know, the ones that have games of blackjack or mah jong you only let you play for about 30 seconds? The ones that usually have the sign with the words "OUT OF ORDER" written on them in big bold letters? Child, please.

The selling point to this albatross is that it's in HD. You're spending $4K for an HD version of solitaire? Look, if you re gonna waste that kind of money buy the frakin' Multicade machine that has Donkey Kong and Galaga in it! Trust me, this machine was made for the goobers who took the song "I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home" a bit too seriously!