Saturday, July 31, 2010

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Jeremiah Masoli, Clemson, Mark Richt and more

Jeremiah Masoli should just say he's sorry.  Because Tony Barnhart said so. (Mr. College Football)

NCAA meets with Clemson players over Agentgate. This is how it hopefully started out:


(Rivals.com)


Tennessee turf war? Derek Dooley wants to install artificial turf in Neyland Stadium. Athletic Director Mike Hamilton isn't too hot on the idea, though. (Go Vols XTra)

Still going. Mark Richt has outlasted 31 past and present coaches in the SEC during his tenure at UGA. (Team Speed Kills)

Boston College's Mark Herzilch profiled by ESPN the Magazine. Herzilch's battle with Ewing's Sarcoma has turned into a fight to make a comeback on the gridiron. It's in the current issue (allegedly) edited by Ron Artest. (BC Interruption, Business Wire)

Derek Dooley is still not over Bryce Brown

(Cue the Carolina Liar)
 Derek Dooley refuses to release Bryce Brown from his Tennessee scholarship. This pretty much means that Brown could only be a walk-on at another school and pay his own way, as opposed to being on scholarship. Does it sound like His Hairness is bitter or something? Maybe it's leftover residue at Rocky Top from Lane Kiffin. Then again, it could be that there's really something in the water in Tennessee that causes reactions like this. Or maybe it's from the corn from that jar.

(Go Vols.com)

Pimpin' with Urban Meyer: Freshly squeezed edition

Urban Meyer pimping orange juice? Urban Meyer pimping orange juice.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Big Tentacles: Michigan State, Michigan, Neil Armstrong, and more.

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big 10 and the teams it not-so-secretly covets.) 


Michigan State has gone 1,000 days without losing to Michigan in football or men's basketball. This would be more impressive if The Spartans had played the Wolverines more than six times. (The Only Colors)

Michigan's “All Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda Team.” (offense). Made up "of players whose Michigan careers were cut short due to injury, misbehavior, or apathy." For some reason it includes Ryan Mallett, described as "a sure-fire first-round NFL pick barring a cataclysmic injury, or VD." (Wolverine Liberation Army)

Big Ten Network primer for Cornhuskers.  Helping Nebraska fans make the transition to the Big Ten easier explaining how to get the Big Ten Network. (As in through cable/satelite service providers. The actual concept of a Big Ten network shouldn't be that difficult to grasp.) (Corn Nation)

Neil Armstrong: Hero, Astronaut, Purdue graduate. Enough reason to mention him here, the first in Hammer & Rails' "Profiles in Heroism." (Hammer & Rails)


The four most important Iowa football players. Surprise! Ricky Stanzi is the most important. (The Daily Iowan, via Black Heart Gold Pants)

Ohio State's Terrelle Pryor is the Big Ten's "only viable candidate for the Heisman trophy." (Fanhouse)

Oh no, he's not! (The Pitt Stop)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Jeremiah Masoli, 3-D football, Georgia football helmets and more

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC and ACC news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)   
 
Jeremiah Masoli update. Masoli still not a Rebel, but reportedly has been invited to visit Ole Miss by Houston Nutt. Word of advice for everybody over on Oxford: hide your laptops. (CBS Sports)

ESPN to air Virginia Tech-Boise State Game in 3-D on September 18. It's probably a good thing this game is being played at FedEx Field in Washington D.C. instead of Bronco Stadium in Boise. The idea of that blue turf in 3-D is somewhat unnerving. (Block-C)


Clemson at Auburn to also air in 3-D. Because you can't have enough orange in 3-D. (Block-C)

The secret history of the University of Georgia football helmet. The Dawgs came real close to wearing a helmets instead of the red helmets known far and wide today. There's also a brief rundown of alternate uni combinations to boot, including the infamous black helmets. (Junkyard Blog, via Leather Helmet Blog)

Maybe Joe Cox just wasn't a day person. Comparing the "Ginger Ninja's" day and night game records. (Team Speed Kills)

Word that best describes Tennessee's quarterbacks this year? "Young" (Go Vols XTra)


Word that specifically describes Tennessee quartrback Tyler Bray? "Lame"

Great Moments in Bad Sports Art: Paul Johnson Obamaed


There wasn't an option for a white and gold version?


(via From the Rumble Seat)

One of these things is not like the other...


A picture from ACC Media Days on Frank Beamer's official website gave Boston College fans a glimpse of what the team's new Under Armour-produced jerseys (modeled by Mark Herzlich). The changes made seem to be slight, with the most noticeable being gold instead of white letters on the back.
Golden Eagle fans might wince at seeing Virginia Tech's Tyrod Taylor and John Graves in this picture. But it's good seeing Mark Herzlich in a BC jersey again after his battle with cancer. Hopefully we'll all be seeing him wearing it on the gridiron a lot this upcoming season.

(via BC Interruption)

The 2011 Chick-Fil-A Kickoff Game you WON'T be seeing.

There was a story flying around about USC and Georgia playing in the 2011 Chick-Fil-A Kickoff Game. But Gary Stokan, the game's president, has shot it down. While USC still has interest in playing in the Georgia Dome, UGA already has  Louisville scheduled for that weekend in Athens.
Though Louisville isn't as sexy as facing Lane Kiffin and USC, isn't exactly chopped liver with former Gator defensive coordinator Charlie Strong at the Cardinal's helm. And there would bound to be critics claiming that the Dawgs would be trying to run away from facing him, especially if Louisville manages to have a good season next year. Mind you, most of those critics were orange and blue, but appearances are appearances.
And on top of that, it would probably cost Georgia a lot of money to scrub the game to boot, through paying off Lousiville, and lost revenue from not playing at home. And even with a profitable football program like Georgia has, money is money, especially in these times.
(Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Your Moment of Tebowness NEWS FLASH: Tebow signs with Broncos.

Broncos (and Gators) fans can breathe easier. Tebow has gotten his deal done with Denver.


"The Broncos have announced that quarterback Tim Tebow, a first-round draft pick for the team, has agreed to terms on a 5-year deal.
Tebow will get a five-year contract worth between $11.5 million and $12 million. The guarantee will be in excess of $8 million.
There had been a report the contract had a max value of $33 million but that includes difficult to reach incentives."

(The Denver Post

What Passes for Life: The Washington Nationals, Ryan Couture,

Washington National fans don't deserve Stephen Strausburg. Because Deadspin says so. (Deadspin)


Randy Couture's son signs with Strikeforce. Ryan Couture is set to make his pro MMA debut in a lightweight bout against  Lucas Stark on the August 13 Strikeforce Challengers card in Phoenix, AZ, which will air on Showtime. (SB Nation)

Brian Wilson fined. MLB fines San Francisco Giants relief pitcher Brian Wilson $1,000 over the the orange shoes we wore in a game against the Florida Marlins which the Fish complained over. Too bad MLB can't fine the Marlins for not having a spine. Or a pair. (The Palm Beach Post)


Troy Aikman won't be on Dancing With the Stars. There must be some rule restricting how many former Dallas Cowboys players and coaches can be involved in reality TV shows at the same time. At least there should be. (Shutdown Corner)

The virtural meeting between Derek Dooley and Bryce Brown you've been dying to see.

And it goes pretty much as you would expect it to.

Big Tentacles: Big Ten news and notes on Scott Tolzien, Doug Klopacz, and more

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big 10 and the teams it not-so-secretly covets.)


Memo to the Big Ten. While you're making plans for a Big Ten championship game, take time to learn from the Big 12's steps and missteps in the history of its soon-to-be-defunct championship game. (Omaha World-Herald)

20 Big 10 predictions. Most of these can be defined as being in the "sun will rise tomorrow morning" type. Even the one about Joe Paterno retiring. Nothing really earth-shattering. (The Rivalry, Esq.)

Look out for Wisconsin's Scott Tolzien. He might be one of the Big Ten's best chances for a Heisman winner this season. (Bucky's 5th Quarter)

Are Michigan's must-win games are UConn and Michigan State?  Wins against Iowa, Penn State, Purdue, and Wisconsin may be more important if Rich Rodriguez want to keep his job. (Ann Arbor.com)


Iowa needs an image makeover. An argument that Iowa fans need to be more aggressive in when it comes to getting recognized as a real contender for the BCS championship. Not losing to Northwestern and Ohio State this year would help too. (Black Heart Gold Pants)


Is Doug Klopacz ready for his spotlight? After two seasons sidelined to injury, senior linebacker Doug Klopacz looks to prove his worth. (PennLive.com)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Tennessee, Ole Miss, Miami, and more

Derek Dooley demands changes in new Tennessee weight room project. Dooley's request for a one story weight room instead of the planned two-story building will add $9 million to the project's cost. Luckily for Tennessee taxpayers this is all coming from donations. (Knoxville News-Sentinel, via Rocky Top Talk)

Jeremiah Masoli, the untold story. Someone needs to tell it to Ole Miss so they know what they might be getting into. (Sports Illustrated)

Speaking of Ole Miss. The 1959 Ole Miss team has been declared the number one "College Football Team of the Past 100 Years." Yeah, I'm not buying it either. (Football Outsiders, via Dr. Saturday)


On the other hand, this one I can believe. The 1986 Miami Hurricanes were picked number one on Sports Illustrated's  list of  the "25 Most Hated Teams of All Time." The 1990 'Canes make the list as well at no. 11. Duke's 1991-92 NCAA Championship team made it at no. 12. (Sports Illustrated, via Dr. Saturday)

The new Louisville Football Helmet:


All they really did was alter the stripes. Big deal. (Card Chronicle)

Death Valley Schadenfreude, penultimate edition. Shakin' the Southland's "The Worst of the 2000's" countdown of Clemson's worst losses of the past decade hits #2 and the Tigers losing to "the other white meat" Wake Forest in 2003. Thier words, not mine. (Shakin' the Southland)

Fake Robbie Caldwell on Twitter? Fake Robbie Caldwell on Twitter.  Quick, someone tell Not Jay Cutler.

Your Moment of Tebowness: The moment you've been waiting for...Tebow: Boxers or briefs?

Here's a little promo Tim Tebow did in conjunction with his new gig as Jockey spokesman. At the end he answers the question millions of female Gator fans (and maybe a male fan or two) have always wanted to know.



His Tebowness wears briefs. The underwear buying habits of the state of Florida just shifted radically.

What Passes for Life: Chewbacca on a giant squirrel fighting Nazis?

If this was Chewie  fighting those two anamorphic Gators in the swamp instead of Nazis, then I would be in Geek Heaven right now.

(via The Official Star Wars Blog)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

What Passes for Life: T.O., Chad (Johnson), LeBron, and the X-Men

Jay Mariotti calls Terrell Owens and Chad (JOHNSON) on the Bengals a "Match Made in Hell." Shut up, Jay. (Fanhouse)
 

The story about LeBron James ESPN didn't want you to read. Too bad Deadspin found it. (Deadspin)

Jude Terror likes X-Men Forever, so you should too. The man who keeps the Internet (or at least The Outhouse) from falling apart explains his love for X-Men Forever, Chris Claremont's revisiting of the team of mutants he made famous where he left off in 1991. Jude's right about it being good. In fact, it might be the one of best comic books out right now. (The Outhouse)

More reasons to hate the Florida Marlins: Marlins pitch fit about Brian Wilson's orange footwear

The Florida Marlins have gotten their boxers in a bunch about San Francisco Giants' relief pitcher Brian Wilson and his pair of orange shoes. Florida manager Edwin Rodriguez considered the orange cleats too much of a distraction on the mound for his hitters and complained to the umpires about them. "A little bit too bright, too flashy," he said.
Seriously, the Marlins are in next to last place at the moment in the National League East, they play in a horrible stadium with a broken scoreboard that owner Jeffery Loria is too much of a cheapskate to fix. There was that hideous Scott Staph Stapp song. And despite two World Series in the past fifteen years, the Marlins are the laughing stock of baseball. And the Fish are worried about a relief pitcher's shoes?
Sheesh! Where the heck is Jay-Z where you need him? Oh, here he is.
The Marlins are supposed to be distracted by orange shoes? They're in Florida, dangit! You mean to say there isn't a single pair of orange sneakers in Florida? With orange being the color used by not only the Gators, but the Miami Hurricanes as well? And oh yeah, don't forget the Dolphins, either. Bothered by orange sneakers? Oh. Child. Please. If the Marlins are  bothered by a pair of shoes, maybe they need to go and grow a pair of something else. Marlins? Ha! They're more like the Chicken of the Sea.

(via Big League Stew)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew:Jeremiah Masoli, a double helping of Vols' schadenfreude, Mark Richt

Jeremiah Masoli is still not an Old Miss Rebel. But something should be resolved involving the disgraced former Oregon quarterback by the weekend. (The Clarion-Ledger)

Present-day Tennessee schadenfreude. Bryce Brown finally tells Derek Dooley that he won't be playing football with the Vols this fall...via text message. Classy, just classy. (Rocky Top Talk)

Historic Tennessee schadenfreude: The final chapter. It's the end of the line for Tennessee's train of pain as "20 Losses in 20 Years" ends with the Number one Vols' defeat of the past two decades: The 2001 SEC Championship and a crushing loss to LSU. (Rocky Top Talk)

Lazy journalism? A blogger calls the frequent "Mark Richt on the Hot Seat at Georgia" talk "lazy journalism." (Lucid Idiocy)


Can Virginia Tech win the BCS Championship in 2010? Yes, they can. (Gobbler Country)

On the other hand...No, they can't. (Gobbler Country)


Same Stadium, different name. The Georgia-Florida game will be played at EverBank Field this season. That's the new name of Jacksonville Municipal Stadium. (Big Cat Company)

Things worse than Vanderbilt football. It's bad when you have to go to North Korea to find something worse than the Commodore's football program. But if you are, then the  The Ryugyong Hotel is the place to go. (Anchor of Gold)

Phil Finebaum compares Robbie Caldwell to Larry the Cable Guy

New Vanderbilt head football coach Robbie Caldwell stole the show at SEC Media Days last week. His down-home manner and casual reminiscences  of working on a turkey farm came as a relief from an event that could have seriously gotten bogged down in Agentgate. Everybody in the media seemed to enjoy the refreshing Southerness of the new Commodores' coach. Everybody that is except  Paul Finebaum.
Finebaum, the South's greatest contributor of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gasses, used his July 27 column to rake Caldwell and Vanderbilt over the coals for not being an SEC powerhouse. Going as far to suggest that Vandy should be kicked out of the SEC.
A few of the little gems from Finebaum's column:

"One can understand the media lapping it up. If you had to listen to three days of sleep-inducing, mind-numbing, coach-speak from the likes of Urban Meyer, Mark Richt, Bob Petrino, Gene Chizik and Les Miles, you would probably find Caldwell's monologue about "turkey insemination" downright side-splitting, too.

However, if I wanted to see Jerry Clower, I'd pop in an old DVD of "Hee-Haw" and sit back on the couch with a bottle of RC Cola and a Moon Pie. That's about what I got out of Caldwell's deep fried act last week. And besides, if you're the Vanderbilt head coach, shouldn't you at least try to give off the appearance you could have been admitted to the school as a student?"

Using this philosophy, Mark Richt should hang out  at the 40 Watt Club, and Urban Meyer should run around wearing jean shorts. Besides, the odds of there being zero rednecks enrolled at Vanderbilt is about the same as there being zero alcoholics enrolled at Georgia.

"Considering this is the best football conference in America, and considering Vanderbilt administrators were able to get their grubby paws on a $20 million payout recently in the league revenue sharing plan, the time has come for everyone else to say enough. Even Kentucky, a basketball school, makes an honest effort in football. Why can't Vandy?"

Vanderbilt actually expects its athletes to go to class, maybe?  (Okay, that is more of a shot at Calipari than Joker Phillips.)

"Oh, you say, Vanderbilt went to a bowl game in 2008 for the first time in 26 years. What good did it do them? They didn't even win a conference game the next year and now they have Larry the Cable guy coaching." 


Well, Jeff Foxworthy was busy taping Are You Smarter Than  A Fifth Grader?
 
"At least Vandy officials could have been smart about this season. Instead of giving the job to Caldwell, they could have had tryouts like "American Idol" and let a different contestant coach each week. After the season, the person who did the best job would get the job for the 2011 season. Nothing draws a crowd these days like a good, cheesy, low-rent reality show."

A reality show-style competition to pick the head coach? Interesting idea you've got there Phil...Waitaminute! That was my idea to find a new defensive coordinator for Georgia, dangit! I demand restitution!

Finebaum goes on to suggest that Vanderbilt could have gotten "Mike Leach or a Phil Fulmer to coach this season." Give me a break. Leach is too busy suing Texas Tech right now. And as for Fulmer, well I'm just shocked someone in Alabama even suggested Fulmer be allowed to coach again, much less in the SEC.
In the end, who really cares? Vanderbilt is more a basketball school than a football school, so just live with it, Paul. Every conference has at least one school like that. Heck, the Big East is pretty much filled with them! So what if the football's not great? Nobody's perfect. And who knows, maybe Robbie the Cable Guy Caldwell can actually get things moving in the right direction football-wise.

(via al.com)

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

New Pac-10 logo is a little underwhelming.

This is the new logo for the Pac-10. Sadly it's a little underwhelming. The reasons:

The font. The way the letters contour inside the shield are a little too jarring and too angular than they need to be. That is especially true for the "P," which looks a little uneven. Plus the "C" looks a little too much like a "G." Altogether, "PAC" doesn't quite mesh well with the mesh of the shield.

The design. It's way too busy. The logo is supposed to depict  "a mountain and wave, which symbolize not only the Pac-10's geographic footprint but also its strength."The mountain is easy to see. But as for the ocean? It's hard to tell. It's hard to tell if that's wave or if it's the crescent of the moon or a billiard ball. 

The coloring.  The shield isn't quite monochromatic, but it comes close.  Do black and blue really represent the Pacific? It might look better if printed in black-and-white, but those days seem to be slowly creeping into the past. A little extra color would have helped. When you think of the Pacific, ine the thinks you think of is the golden sunlight. Where is that in this design?

In all, this new logo seems to be a little bit of a misstep. There's too much going on in the design. But in the end, it doesn't say much.
(via Sports Illustrated)

Darrelle Revis likes to stroke his flamingo

Darrelle Revis likes to stroke his flamingo. He especially likes to stroke his flamingo while pimping shoes for Nike.



This is for a Dick's Sporting Goods Commercial. I guess stroking your flamingo there is as good of a place as any. 

What Passes for Life: Lane Kiffin, New York Yankees, and yet more Joshua Jackson

Lane Kiffin's days at USC are numbered. Because Jay Mariotti said so. (Fanhouse)

"The best films of the '00s." Any list that picks The Two Towers over the other two parts of  The Lord of the Rings does at least have some credit. The list of 50 films is filled with way too many foreign and indie films, though. And outside of a couple of Pixar films, it lacks lighter-fare box office hits like Remember the Titans. Worse, none of the Bourne Trilogy movies are on the list. Haters. (The AV Club)

Put up or shut up time for Anderson Silva?  Put up or shut up time for Anderson Silva. (Yahoo! Sports)

Should the Yankees trade Joba Chamberlain? If the Yanks can scam some bottom-feeder team into a less than fair trade, then yes. (Big League Stew)

Terence Moore complains about the NBA's problem with "integrity." Shut up, Terence. (Fanhouse)

VH-1 has yet another Biggest Loser knockoff. As if Celebrity Fit Club wasn't enough, VH-1 has come up with Money Hungry, where ten teams overweight people put up 10,000 of their own money for a chance to win $100,000 by losing weight. Maybe there's still hope for my pitch for fat athletes fighting for a slot on the U.S. Olympic Team. I call it The Biggest Luger. (Warming Glow)


Oh, now it makes sense! Remember yesterday's story about Joshua Jackson's "Pacey-Con"? Turns out it was part of a Funny or Die short film. (Entertainment Weekly)

Your Moment of Tebowness: Tebow Wears Jockey Shorts! No, really.

SEC fans are well aware of the Bulldog Nation's anti-Florida mantra "Gators wear jean shorts!" Well Florida fans might want to get prepared to hear it changed to "Gators wear Jockey shorts!" That's because Tim Tebow has been signed to endorse Jockey underwear.

“I’m excited to represent the Jockey brand and to work with such an innovative company,” said Tebow. “I’ve long been a fan and consumer of Jockey, and think they make a quality product with a great fit. I’m looking forward to a great relationship with such a respectable company.”
Tebow will work with several of Jockey’s lines, including the Jockey® “Staycool” collection, which launches in spring 2011. Tebow will be featured in Jockey’s catalog, TV and print advertisements and on jockey.com. Jockey and Tebow will also collaborate on unique content for social media platforms."

Here's an image of His Tebowness wearing a Jockey t-shirt.


No mention of  whether or not His Tebowness will go Jim Palmer and appear in these ads in just his Jockey shorts. Certainly quite a few female Gator fans would want to see that.

(via Darren Rovell on Twitter)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Derek Dooley, Dawgs, Duke, and more.

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC and ACC news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)   


Derek Dooley Factoid of the Day: Derek Dooley has a law degree from the University of Georgia. Which is something that might interest the Tennessee Titans right now. Imagine His Hairness cross-examining Lane Kiffin in court.

Dawgs' Dent disabled. Georgia linebacker Akeem Dent is out 4-6 weeks with an injured toe. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)


Recession? What Recession? Despite tough economic times the Iron Dukes fundraising organization's contributions to the Duke athletic program were up 20% this past fiscal year, while UNC's Rams Club fundraising group's contributions were up 5%. (Triangle Business Journal)

Mr. College Football meets Mark Herzlich. Tony Barnhart spent time with the Boston College linebacker, who spent last season off the field fighting a rare and agressive form of cancer. Herzlich is cancer-free now, and is working on getting back on the gridiron this season. (Mr. College Football)

Bonus Herzlich coverage. If Herzlich is able to return to college football and perform at the level he did in 2008, he could possibly be a Heisman candidate. (SB Nation)

Does the Chick-Fil-A Bowl hate Boston College? The former Peach Bowl has never invited Boston College to play in the Georgia Dome. Does this represent some sort of  sentiment against the alma mater of Matt Ryan? BC Interruption thinks so. The cows holding the signs saying "Eat Mor Golden Eagle" might have been the tip off. (BC Interruption)

Monday, July 26, 2010

Lane Kiffin to face a clash with the Titans in court?

Lane Kiffin may have outdone himself. Kiffin's hiring of Tennessee Titans' running back coach Kennedy Pola has gotten the NFL franchise steamed. Steamed enough to sue Kiffin for ""maliciously" interfering with Pola's contract." And the Titans are suing Pola to boot.
Kiffin's new boss, Pat Haden can't be liking this. The week after sending Reggie Bush's Heisman back, he has to put of with this leftover of the past regime. A few more Kiffin-esque moves like this, and Harden might be asking himself "I left the Notre Dame announcer's booth for this?" That and deciding whether it's better for USC to make Kiffin a one-season coach.

(via ProFootballTalk.com)

Floyd Mayweather Jr. has a $50,000 iPod? Floyd Mayweather Jr. has a $50,000 iPod.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. is reported to have a $50,000 diamond-encrusted iPod. It's probably safe to say that this isn't one of the songs on it:





Though it wouldn't be a shock if  there were on  it:
"I Don't Wanna Fight"-Tina Turner
"Duck and Run"-3 Doors Down
"Runaway"-Bon Jovi
"I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)"- Meat Loaf
"Running Scared"-Roy Orbison
"Coward of the County"- Kenny Rogers



(via Yahoo! Sports)

What Passes for Life: Joe Theisman, Texas Longhorns, Joshua Jackson

Two (and possibly three) annoying things that would be more annoying together. USA Today thinks Joe Theisman is the best choice to replace Pat Haden in the broadcast booth for NBC's Notre Dame football broadcasts. (USA Today)

Texas and Branded Retail Energy team up to create Texas Longhorn Energy. First there was H2Orange bottled water in the shape of Texas Tower, and not this. What next, Bevo Brand Taco Meat? (Sports Business Journal, Deadspin)

Joshua Jackson tries to hi-jack Comic-Con. The Fringe star holds his own "Pacey-Con"for fans of his old Dawson's Creek days. He even reportedly handed out his own Dawson's Creek fanfic out. No word if he was with Dawson or Jack in the stories. (Warming Glow)

Someone in the media picks Nevada to win the WAC over Boise State. Okay, who gave Steve Spurrier a vote in this? (Orlando Sentinel)

Bowl Games are making selections already? Nah, it's just a bit of Black Heart Gold Pants madness. (Black Heart Gold Pants)

Great Moments in Bad Sports Art:

Anamorphic alligators playing with crystal balls.  This kind of speaks for itself.



This so needs to be made into a SyFy Original Movie.

(via EDSBS)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Nick Saban haters, and a double dose of schadenfreude

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC and ACC news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)  

 Everybody Hates Nick. Roll 'Bama Roll lists the columnists that criticized Nick Saban for referring to agents as "pimps." These writers should be worried, since R'BR has an elephant riding a steamroller on its banner. Never a good sign. (Roll 'Bama Roll)

Florida State and Miami "need to start pulling their weight in the ACC." Because Mike Bianchi said so. (Orlando Sentinel)

Just when you thought the world was safe from conference expansion talk...ACC  commissioner John Swofford mentions that the conference has looked into expanding to 14 or 16 teams, and there's always the chance it could happen. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Orange is the color of Schadenfreude, Part I. Rocky Top Talk's countdown of "20 Losses In 20 Years" hits the number two spot, with the Vols' 1990 loss to Alabama. Gene Stallings was in his first year as 'Bama coach, and Tennessee was ranked #3 in the nation. The Vols were expected to win this one. Guess what happened? (Rocky Top Talk)

Orange is the color of Schadenfreude, Part II. The Clemson version "The Worst of the 2000's," hits #3 and the 2004 loss to Duke. And yes, that's the Duke football team they're talking about. (Shakin' the Southland")

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Andy Roddick now officially the Atlanta Braves of tennis

Andy Roddick lost to Mardy Fish Saturday night in the semifinals of the Atlanta Tennis Championships. Which is somehow fitting, and makes this photo of him throwing out the ceremonial first pitch Thursday Night at Turner Field even more appapropriate. (Fish went on to win the tournament, beating John Isner)






He should be made to wear this out on the court permanently.

(Yahoo! Sports, Busted Racquet)

Virtual Lane Kiffin meets... Virtual Sarah Palin?

This will tide you over until the inevitable Virtual Lane meets Virtual Jeff Fisher showdown.

What Passes for Life: Miami Heat hate, R.E.M. Chris Berman and more.

Why do people hate the Miami Heat? Dan Le Batard on  post-LeBron Miami Heat Hate . (The Miami Herald)

Elton John meets Napoleon the Pig? Elton John reportedly working on a musical version of George Orwell's Animal Farm. Now if we could only get a Broadway version of 1984 from Eurythmics things would be perfect. (The AV Room)

Cancer survivor learns to play hockey at age 40. And he's making a film about it. (Puck Daddy)

Top 40 R.E.M. Songs. Number One is "Losing My Religion." Way too predictable choice. And it's wrong. The best R.E.M. song is "Fall On Me" hands down. And "Orange Crush" is number two, but this list has it all the way down at 40. Stupid. (about.com

Quote of the day (possibly the year): "If ESPN’s Chris Berman isn’t the most universally mocked/vilified sportscaster in the business, that’s probably because Joe Buck is isn’t on television very often."- Can't Stop the Bleeding

Saturday, July 24, 2010

What Passes for Life: Stan Lee at Comic-Con

Here's Stan Lee at San Diego Comic-Con International 2010, sitting on Odin's Throne, brought in to promote next year's Thor movie.



Actually, that's Jack Kirby's chair Stan's sitting in, but nobody had the heart to tell him. (He does look kind of small sitting in it, doesn't he?)

(via The Outhouse, HT to David Bird)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Miami, Kenny Chesney, A.J. Green vs. Julio Jones (His mama named him that!), and more

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC and ACC news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)   
 
Miami and Notre Dame to face each other once again in 2012. The two teams haven't faced each other since 1990, which was almost the last time The Irish were relevant. (SB Nation)

 Kenny Chesney thinks Bill Curry's sexy. Chesney interviewed the first-year Georgia State Panthers coach for the documentary on college football coaches he's working on.  (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

South Caroling blog takes umbrage at predicted third-place  SEC East finish. This ain't baseball, chickens. (Leftover Hot Dog)

Historical SEC team helmets. A pretty interesting look at SEC team football helmets of the past fifty years. (The Helmet Project)

Who is the better receiver: A.J. Green or Julio Jones (His mama named him that!)? The tale of the tape going into what will probably be the last season in the SEC for the both of them. (Dr. Saturday)

Thursday night Nov. 18 Alabama/Georgia State game set to run on ESPNU.

The now-infamous November 18 Thursday night showdown between Alabama and the Bill Curry's  Georgia State Panthers has been scheduled to start on ESPNU at 7:30 PM EST. So Alabama moved the game to Thursday Night, canceled classes, and had to pay extra Georgia State extra for added expenses. And for all it gets for going through the trouble of all of that is a 6:30 game time on what is essentially ESPN, The Cuatro? (And since ESPN 3 is the online outlet, that's shows you what the WWL really thinks of it.) Boy, the Tide got hosed bad on this one.
ESPN, by the way is showing UCLA vs. Washington that night, featuring Heisman frontrunner Jake Locker that night. Admittedly a game with a greater national spotlight being a Pac-10 match-up with Heisman hopeful Jake Locker. Meanwhile Alabama has Mark Ingram, the current Heisman Trophy winner, on the roster. That at least deserves ESPN2. 

(via Roll 'Bama Roll)

Tim Lincecum: "What, Me Worry?"


Tim Lincecum does his best Alfred E. Newman while checking out the iFly Hollywood vertical wind tunnel in conjunction with a new sponsorship deal with Red Bull. At least found a way to get high without smoking pot.
Well, it does provide an excuse to link to the second episode of "Timmy and Bus," featuring Lincecum, Ubaldo Jimenez, Steven Strasburg, a psychedelic talking bus and...Lady Gaga?

(via Big League Stew)

Friday, July 23, 2010

What Passes for Life: USF, Dana White, Batman, and more

What's the bigger deal for USF: Winning the Big East and going to a BCS bowl game, or beating Florida, FSU, and/or Miami? It's a trickier question than you think, involving nation recognition and in-state recruiting. (Voodoo Five)

Dana White says boxing is doomed. I think they said that about Madonna's career several times over. (Cagewriter)

Another new Batman series?  DC Comics announces Batman INC., which spews forth from the mind of Grant Morrison. (The Source)


Deadspin repeating sentences in headlines again? Deadspin repeating sentences in headlines again. (Deadspin)

Brad Pitt is Moneyball Which I guess makes Angelina Jolie The Blind Side. Move over, Sandra Bullock. (SB Nation)

Your Moment of Tebowness: Tebow invited to become The Bachelor?

(Your Moment of Tebowness is SWRT's recurring feature on the cultural phenomenon that is His Tebowness. Everyone else is doing it, so why can't I?)

Tim Tebow invited to become The BachelorTim Tebow invited to become The Bachelor

"I talked to Tim Tebow yesterday. I'm really not joking. His brother Robby was there. I asked him in front of God and Country. He hasn't said yes yet, but he did say he would be a better version then Jesse Palmer. I told him, "Wait until you play in the NFL first my friend, because Jesse Palmer was quite the bench warmer."

Tim Tebow invited to become The Bachelor.
 


(via TIMTEBLOG)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Robbie Caldwell, Derek Dooley, and more UGA tidbits then you can shake a stick at

The "truth" behind Robbie Caldwell's now-legendary/infamous SEC Media Days session. Was is all done for a free meal at Dreamland? (Rocky Top Talk)

Derek Dooley's first SEC Media Days session. And what does the press want to ask His Hairness about? Vince, Barbara, and Lane Kiffin. (Team Speed Kills)

The Old Ball Coach's Last Stand? Tony Barnhart wonder how much does Steve Spurrier have left in him. (Mr. College Football

It's over. The final chapter in the epic four part interview with Paul Johnson. (ACC Sports Journal)


Mike Bianchi says "Georgia is the the most overrated program in college football history." One word: Michigan. (Orlando Sentinel)

On a related front: Mark Richt is boring. Which is what happens when Richt's been told not to talk about the NCAA investigation of A.J. Green's involvement in Agentgate.  (Team Speed Kills)

Quite possibly the dubious achievement to end all dubious achievements. "Georgia’s Drew Butler is the first punter to ever attend SEC Media Days." (Athens Banner-Herald)

Why is Colt McCoy Still Smiling?




There's Colt McCoy smiling again. What's got him giddy this time around?

1. "I've finally done something Tim Tebow hasn't."
2. "And by the way, Tim. It was real funny how you paid  Jordan Shipley to mention your name in my wedding song. Just remember revenge is a dish best served cold, son. Just wait 'till you tie the knot. (cackles evilly).
3. "Hey, Vince Young: Coach Brown told me he likes me more than you."
4. "Boy, that Summer of Mallett is one funny dude."

5. "Yo, Rick Reilly: I had a little shrimp vindaloo for a midnight snack last night. How about you?"
6. "With LeBron gone, I'm gonna have Cleveland all to myself." 
7. "Did anybody else laugh at Robby Caldwell talking about inseminating turkeys as much as I did?"
8. " Yeah It took a little while, but the NCAA finally caught wind of that party in Miami that I had set up."
9. "Hey, Clay Travis: Wanna ask me if I'm still a virgin?"
10.  "It's better to have competed for the BCS Championship and lost, than to win it and have it taken away because of somebody on the team declared ineligible because of improper dealings with agents. Take that, Reggie Bush!"

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Florida recruit Chris Martin compared to The Great Khali. Is this a good thing?

Alligator Army compared  Chris Martin, an outside linebacker  who just transferred to Florida from California , to the WWE's The Great Khali. This is probably bad news for Martin, since Khali has a large amount of detractors online. For those who are unfamiliar with The Great Khali, this is what he looks like:


The Great Khali might look fierce, but his wrestling skills are suspect, and he's seen as more of a joke to many than a threat. In fact wrestling site Online Onslaught used to refer to him as "The [redacted] Khali  (though more recently he's just called "Khali" over there). Honestly, he pretty much sucks as a wrestler. Martin being compared to Khali might sound cool, but only if you know squat about pro wrestling.
Actually, the Gators might want to find somebody who reminds them of John Cena. Heck, Cena looks more to be a member of the Gator Nation than Khali ever will.

Orange shirt. Blue and orange baseball cap. And to top it all off, jean shorts. Yep, Cena's gotta be a Gator.

(via Alligator Army)

What Passes for Life: Mark Cuban, Old Spice Guy

(What Passes for Life is SWRT's collection of sports and non sports related links and hi-jinks.)
 
Will the Rangers go Cuban? Dallas Mavericks' owner Mark Cuban given approval to bid on Texas Rangers in auction. Welcome to the dawn of Bug Selig's Freudian Nightmare. (Yahoo! Sports)

Old Spice Guy hurting sales? The "Old Spice Guy" commercials aren't doing much for sales of Old Spice Red Zone After Hours Body Wash. In fact, sales are down seven percent. Maybe it's time to bring back the Centaur Who's Two Things. (Yahoo! TV)

David Eckstein's wife set to debut her very own Star Wars apparel for women (geeks) called Her Universe. There had better be a Princess Leia swimsuit somewhere in this one. (Sports Radio Interviews.com)

SHAZAM! Rob Lowe will voice Captain Marvel in the Cartoon Network animated version of  DC Comics' Young Justice, where he'll hang out with Robin, Superboy, Kid Flash, and Miss Martian. Hey, where's Wonder Girl? (TV Guide)

UFC 121 to feature Tito Ortiz and Matt Hamill.  Ortiz had better hope Hammil's Staph Infection is cured by then. Ewwww! (SB Nation)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Robbie Caldwell, NCAA investigation, Mark Richt on Bobby Bowden and more

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC and ACC news)  

Robbie Caldwell steals SEC Media Days.  Reflections on working on a turkey farm inseminating turkeys have got to make Gamecock fans nervous. On the other hand, it might put him in line to replace Frank Beamer at Virginia Tech someday. (EDSBS)

A.J. Green was not at that party in Miami with that agent. Because T. Kyle King said so. (Dawg Sports

The Twitter Factor. A look at how Twitter set off the NCAA investigation into the improper meetings between agents and players at UNC and other schools. As of now, the Twitter accounts of UNC players are quiet. Too quiet. (Carolina March)

Mark Richt on the way Bobby Bowden was forced to retire at FSU. He didn't like it, according to The Orlando Sentinel's Mike Bianchi. (Open Mike)

Tomahawk Nation's Twiter reaction to Richt's comments on Bowden: "ATTN Mark Richt: STFU about Bowden. FSU fans were tired of their program being run like a history museum. Story is so 2009." (Tomahawk Nation Twitter)

 Paul Johnson: The Epic Interview. It continues with Part Three with Johnson's  high school footballs days, and how he became a coach. (ACC Sports.com)


Tigers look at other Tigers. Clemson blog Shakin' the Southland takes a look at the offense of September 10 foe Auburn and its offensive coordinator, Gus Malzhan. As blogger DrB notes, Malzhan will probably be head coach at another program sooner than later. (Shakin' the Southland) 


Ryan Mallett's "Family Arm." That's what he calls it. I'm more curious what he calls his banged up foot? "Stumpy," perhaps? (EDSBS)

The latest on the growing SEC/ACC football pimps agents investigation.

The NCAA probe at UNC is "agent related." - Rivals.com


"No One Safe from  NCAA Scrutiny" - (Rivals.com)

Media not allowed to ask Mark Richt about allegations of A.J. Green having contact with pimp agent at Miami party, and vice-versa. (SB Nation)

Tony Barnhart's take. "The answer is to give the legitimate agents—and there are so many good ones out there—GREATER access and to give the student-athlete with pro potential a clearly defined road map on how to get there and also get the most out of his college experience." (Mr. College Football)

A pimp takes umbrage at Nick Saban's comparison of agents to "pimps". (EDSBS)

Is playing Boise State a no-win situation for Virginia Tech?

Gobbler Country, a Virginia Tech blog, has asked the question "Is Playing Boise State Still a Lose-Lose Proposition?" The answer is "yes," probably in more ways than one.
Boise State, being from a non-BCS conference which it continually dominates, never really gets the kind of respect it deserves when it comes to competition. Gobbler Country certainly has a point when it comes to the perception the Broncos get because of this.
"If a team from a BCS conference had gone 14-0 the season before and only lost one starter, everyone would vote them the preseason No. 1. But because Boise plays in the WAC there are still skeptics out there and that's why I wonder what the reaction would be if Virginia Tech were to win this game.
Would the Hokies be praised for beating a Top 5 team or would the public just consider Boise overrated and exposed?"
Virginia Tech has a bigger problem on its hands with perception than it thinks. For several years now, Boise State has been the team that the anti-BCS crowd has put their support  behind (for the most part). Going into this game, Virginia Tech can be seen as the villain,  or at least the team that has the backing of the pro-BCS (i.e. "the bad guys") crowd.
If the Hokies lose, they look bad because they lost to a non-BCS team with a weak conference schedule. If they win, they look bad because they probably ended this year's chance of a non-BCS team finally busting the BCS, which a lot of fans want to see happen.
Virginia Tech is pretty much wearing the black hat in the game against Boise State, at least when it comes to the anti-BCS crowd. While the Hokies may be favored by the pro-BCS faction, that one is seen by many as standing in the way of a playoff system and a "true" National Champion. While the Hokies could win this game against the Broncos, it could possibly end up wearing the black hat for the rest of the season.

(via Gobbler Country)

Derek Dooley's computer Playmobil avatar looks nothing like His Hairness

The genius behind "The Lane Kiffin Show" on YouTube has come back with the Derek Dooley version, conviently called "The Derek Dooley Show." Subject for the first episode? You guessed it...the Vol Brawl.



The big problem with this is that the Derek Dooley Playmobil avatar looks nothing like His Hairness. Well okay, the hair is pretty close, but not close enough. And with those glasses, Playmobil Dooley looks more like a generic banker. Also, since when did Andre Lott sport a British accent. It's not too bad for a start, but it needs a lot a work.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Shirts Without Random Triangles: LeBron Falcon Punches Cleveland (or worse)

Obviously Lebron James' "Decision" to bolt for Miami has resulted in more t-shirt ideas than could possibly be featured here. But here's one of the more interesting ones from I Love the Hype.



Honestly, I'm not quite sure if LeBron is going for the  Falcon Punch, or trying to rip the heart out of the poor puppy. Mind you, the latter might be too Michael Vick-is. But Cleveland hath no fury like a fan spurned, and everything's on the table when wrath gets in the way of good taste or common sense.

(via First Cuts)

Pimpin' with Nick Saban

Oh, why not?

Your Moment of Tebowness: What the regular version of Tebow's Nike shoe looks like

(Your Moment of Tebowness is SWRT's recurring feature on the cultural phenomenon that is His Tebowness. Everyone else is doing it, so why can't I?)  

In case you missed it in last week's issue of Sports Illustrated, here's the Nike print ad for the regular version of the Nike Trainer 1.2, the shoe Tim Tebow is endorsing for Nike.


(via Only Gators Get Out Alive)

Pimpin' with Mark Richt

Need carpet? Mark Richt and his wife Katharyn "The Watergirl" Richt can point you where to go.

Derek Dooley joins past Tennessee coaches on Vols' home game tickets

Derek Dooley may not have his image immortalized  upon the edifice of  the refurbished Neyland Stadium next to that of General Robert Neyland yet, but he does join the General on the tickets to this season's home games for Tennessee. His Hairness and the General join five other past Tennessee coaches to be honored on the Vols'  2010 home game tickets. Dooley's comes first, for the opener  against Tennessee-Martin on September 4.
Other coaches honored on the tickets include Johnny Majors, Bill Battle, and Phillp Fulmer, accompanied by one of General Neyland's maxims. Fulmer, by the way, appears on the ticket for the home game against Alabama (Insert your own comment here).
And no, genius, Lane Kiffin didn't get his face on a ticket.

(Go Vols Xtra)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Nick Saban's mad. Boston College vs. first year coaches, and more

Bad agents making Nick Saban angry. Don't make Saban angry. You won't like him when he's angry.
(Mr. College Football).

Don't make Tony Barnhart mad, either.
"You have made Nick Saban mad and you’ve screwed up the first day of SEC Media Days, which is nothing short of a Southern holiday in this part of the world. It is not to be messed with and you, my friend,  have just messed with it."
 (Mr. College Football). 

Questions that you won't be hearing at SEC Media Days, but should. Includes asking Mark Richt "Would it have killed you to invite Damon Evans to team ping pong/ice cream night?" And asking Urban Meyer about Clay Travis' virginity. (Dawg Sports

Picking on Marvin Austin. A look at the the center of the UNC agent mess through the lens of Austin's own trail of tweets and images. (StateFans Nation


Boston College's recent record against first-year coaches. The record is 19-3 in the past decade. That includes wins against Rich Rodriguez (West Virginia), Mark Richt (Georgia), and Paul Johnson (Navy). Interestingly, one of the three losses also comes against Paul Johnson at Georgia Tech. (BC Interruption)

Speaking of Paul Johnson, here's part two of that massive Paul Johnson interview. An interview so awesome, it had to be broken down into four parts to keep the public from spontaneously combusting in the site of its awesomeness. (ACC Sports Journal)

From the Golden State to the Sunshine State. Five star recruit Chris Martin (linebacker/defensive end) will transfer  from California to Florida.  Martin felt being too close to his hometown of Oakland, CA. was a distraction.(Only Gators Get Out Alive)

Virginia Tech down two players for Boise State game? Linebacker  Barquell Rivers and reserve center Michael Via are questionable for the make-or-break VT season opener against Boise State. (Gobbler Country

A pictorial look at Neyland Stadium renovations. Includes ginormous pictures of Peyton Manning, Reggie White and General Neyland himself (Rocky Top Talk

Kyle Parker to return to Clemson for the fall

The Clemson Insider is reporting that Kyle Parker will be returning to Clemson this fall to play football. Negotiations between the Colorado Rockies, who drafted Parker in this year's MLB Draft failed to secure a deal to exclusively play baseball by the Parker family's deadline of July 20. Talks reportedly will continue for a deal where Parker will play both football and minor league baseball in the Rockies' farm system. A public announcement will reportedly be made by Parker on Wednesday.

(via The Clemson Insider, Shakin' the Southland)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

What Passes for Life: MLB, childhood obesity, Wyatt Earp,

Major League Baseball joins First Lady Michelle Obama's fight childhood obesity. Insert Prince Feilder joke here. Whoops! Somebody already did. (ESPN, Sportress of Blogitude)

Wyatt Earp....Beyond Thunderdome Spider-Man director Sam Raimi to direct a film adaption of the graphic novel Saints for Sinners, which features Wyatt Earp in what's described as Eyrp being "transported to a ravaged future where the only remaining boomtown is Las Vegas." (The Guardian)


Jake Shields signs with UFC. The former Strikeforce middleweight champion is officially signed to the UFC  and will fight Martin Kampmann at UFC 121. (Yahoo! Sports)

ESPN: It's not crazy, it's irresponsible

The latest in ESPN's "It's Not Crazy, It's Sports" commercials features NASCAR haulers for rivals Carl Edwards and  Brad Keselowski getting involved in a little bit of non-sanctioned racing.




It's bad enough ESPN is promoting illegal highway racing with 18-wheelers. It's a whole different matter that one of the  big rigs is for  NASCAR driver Carl Edwards, whose car is sponsored by an Aflac, an insurance company. Is this speeding on the highway kind of thing Aflac really wants to be associated with?