Sunday, October 31, 2010

Tennessee quarterback situation heats up

It's all but official that there's a quarterback controversy in Tennessee. With junior QB Matt Simms struggling and still hobbled with a knee injury during the Vols loss to South Carolina, Tennessee head coach Derek Dooley switched him out with freshman QB Tyler "Tramp Stamp" Bray. While Bray struggled, he did make two touchdown passes, and at one point helped the Vols tie the game 24-24 at one point.
While Bray was modest about the situation, saying "I went out there and did my best,"Simms was less than diplomatic about the situation.

"I wish I could say that I'm definitely the starting quarterback," Simms said. "It's unfortunate they took me out. I felt like I played really well. I feel like I could have made all those throws because we had guys wide open down the middle of the field.
"I feel like I'm a good enough quarterback to make those plays and I'm just still upset that I got taken out like that."

 Dooley refused to comment how the QB situation would be handled going into next week's road trip to Memphis. It does appear His Hairness is going to have to either sooth the bruised ego of Simms, or put the junior in his place. Not to mention whether he should let Bray have his first start as a QB on the road against the 1-7 Tigers.

(via Go Vols Xtra)

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Your Ricky Stanzi "America, Love It or Leave It!" Moment of the Day: When Herky the Hawk throws his mighty sheild...

(Your Ricky Stanzi America, Love It or Leave It!" Moment of the Day is SWRT's tribute to the spirit of America embodied in America's Quarterback, Ricky Stanzi)

What better way for Herky the Hawk to celebrate Halloween, America, Iowa and America's Quarterback Ricky Stanzi than to dress up as Captain America for the Hawkeyes' thumping of previously undefeated Michigan State. It's also nice to see him man up (or is that Hawk up?) and wear a Captain America mask with the wings on it. Which is a more than can be said for Chris Evans in the movie version of the costume.

(Thanks to Jon Harvey via Twitter)

The best description of Mark Richt EVER!

Here's a description of Mark Rick provided by Hey Jenny Slater's Doug Gillett during a conversation with EDSBS' Spencer Hall about the impending Schadenfreude that is the Georgia-Florida game aka The World's Largest Outdoor (CENSORED BY DR. MICHAEL ADAMS):

"You're talking to a guy whose team is coached by a man who treats running up the score like it was made of Japanese tentacle porn and covered with AIDS. That's how y'all are going to win this weekend, even if we somehow pull our heads out of our a**es for only the fourth time in 21 tries and eke out a lead."

If this isn't the best example of why Mark Richt, despite his success at UGA, comes off as an underachiever then I don't know what is.

(via EDSBS)

Game Day Goulash

Broncos vs. Spartans. Boise State and Michigan State agree to a deal to meet in East Lansing, Mich. in 2012. With a home-at-home in 2022 and 2023. (ESPN)

Colorado wish list. If and when Colorado finally decide to put the Dan Hawkins era out of its misery, there is already a list of possible replacements, including former Colorado coaching legend Bill McCartney (cue the Jethro Tull...), Alabama offensive coordinator Jim McElwain, Auburm OC Gus Malzahn (aka Gene Chizik's brain) and LSU head coach Les Miles. Now why would Colorado think Les Miles would need a job after this season? (Denver Post)

Does NC State fear East Carolina? NC State's athletic director Michelle Yow seemed cool on the idea of continuing to play ECU, claiming that the Wolfpack were at a psychological disadvantage against the Pirates. (

RichRod exposed. What Rich Rodriguez's former players at West Virginia really thought about him (MGoBlog)

Tucker Virtue's fame expands beyond its allotted fifteen minutes. Duke's history department is planning an "informal gathering" to discuss that you-know-what list on November 3.  It'd be interesting to see what the excuses are for some of the er, subjects on the list not participating. (Jezebel)

Friday, October 29, 2010

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: World's Largest Outdoor (CENSORED BY DR. MICHAEL ADAMS), Mississippi St., and...Rommel?

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC  news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.) 

What happens if Georgia loses to Florida tomorrow? If UGA can't beat the possibly worst Florida team since the Reagan administration in the World's Largest Outdoor (CENSORED BY DR. MICHAEL ADAMS), then the Mark Richt Hot Seat Brigade will be fully out on the march. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

SEC West nightmare scenario. There's a possibility that the SEC West could end with all teams in  a 5-3 tie in SEC play. Mind you, there's  a possibility, but no chance. Auburn or Alabama will probably win, with the Iron Bowl winner coming out on top if both teams are 12-1 by then. (Team Speed Kills)

Taking a look under the Mississippi St. defense hood. The Mississippi State defense looks to fix areas causing errors on the field. (The Clarion-Ledger)

Human Target. Auburn walks into Ole Miss trying to avoid being the third number one team in three weeks.  (

Help Derek Dooley find Rommel.  His Hairness is never gonna live those WWII comments down, is he? (Knoxvilleman)

Your last minute Ricky Stanzi Halloween costume.

So, you dithered around all month and didn't get around to buying that cool Halloween costume. Chill out, dude. Here's the perfect get-up for you. Go to the party as America's Quarterback, Ricky Stanzi. Apparently the get-up is pretty simple enough. Just check out at what Stanzi usually wears to media events.

"When Stanzi arrives at a media gathering on Oct. 19, he’s immediately swarmed by cameras and microphones, recorders, and Flip Cams. Wearing his typical outfit — a gray Iowa-football-licensed hooded sweatshirt, black shorts, and his ever comfortable-looking Vibram Five Fingers sandals (seriously, Google them) — Stanzi is backed up against a wall of windows. Literally. He answers questions in a monotone only Ferentz can emulate, his interests seemingly elsewhere."

Okay, maybe the Iowa sweatshirt might be tough to find in some areas of the country. Just ask around some of the local sports retailers (especially the ones that specialize in college football apparel) to see if they have one or how quick they could get one for you. Or you could use an replica Iowa football jersey as substitute.

And don't forget the Vibram Five Fingers. No real Ricky Stanzi Halloween costume is complete without them.

Find a suitable long brown wig and you're set. Of course you may want to carry an American flag for an added effect. 

(via The Daily Iowan)

Big Tentacles: Rich Rodriguez, Ricky Stanzi, Penn State, and more

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big 10 and the teams it not-so-secretly covets.) 

Yes, there's that image of Sparty with that puppy again. Deal with it.

Will RichRod survive? Conventional wisdom says that Rich Rodriguez needs eight wins to keep his job as Michigan head coach. The lack of big wins puts that idea into question. (Off Tackle Empire)

Get your kids off the sidewalk. Michigan State reinstates senior cornerback Chris Rucker after a three-week suspension/ During which time Rucker spent eight days in jail for a probation violation after being arrested for impersonating a Georgia player DUI.  (USA Today)

What's it like to be Ricky Stanzi? Apparently it's like being Ricky Stanzi. (The Daily Iowan)

Is Matt McGloin the answer to Penn State's problems? The sophomore quarterback who walked-on to the team was the key to Penn State's victory against Minnesota. How he handles himself as starter this week against Michigan will be a more telling picture on whether or not he's the answer to the Nittany Lions'.  (Black Shoe Diaries)

Get this party started. Big Ten coaches had a Halloween Party, and you weren't invited. (The M Zone)

Sparty with a puppy? Sparty with a puppy. (aka the unofficial "Ricky Stanzi America, Love It Or Leave It Moment of the Day")

Awwwwww! Sparty with a puppy. How cute!
I almost made this the "Ricky Stanzi "America Love It Or Leave It" Moment of the Day." I probably should have (There's something else in the queue is the biggest reason why.) . Even though a) A this is Sparty, the mascot of Iowa's opponent in an absolute must-see Big Ten showdown this weekend (and a probable must-win game for the Hawkeyes, if they want to keep their dwindling Rose Bowl hopes up .) and b) a cosplaying mascot dressed as a Spartan warrior doesn't quite shout out "USA!" But trust me, this image says alot about the greatness of America.

(via Black Heart Gold Pants)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Bo Jackson, Alabama, and more

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC  news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.) 
 Bo knows who he's voting for in the Heisman race. Now who would an Auburn alum vote for on the Heisman ballot this year? Who do you think? (ESPN)

The Road I'm On. Alabama has the "toughest future schedule in the nation among Football Bowl Subdivision teams." (

Justin, we hardly knew ye. UGA defensive end/outside line backer Justin Houston is a rising NFL Draft prospect. If he decides to leave UGA, which he probably will. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Tennessee = pot, Kentucky=kettle. A Sea of Blue looks into the "cover-up" over Bruce Pearl at Tennessee. Bookmark this for when the Wildcats get hammered by the NCAA over the inevitable John Calipari recruiting violations. (A Sea of Blue)

Crimson Tide offers disgrased ex-Bulldog QB Mettenberger a scholarship

Alabama has reportedly offered a scholarship  disgraced former Georgia quarterback Zach Mettenberger. Mettenberger was kicked off the team by Mark Richt for "violation of team rules" which may or may not have been related to an incident at a Remberton, Ga. drinking establishment around the time of Ben Roethlesberger's wild night in  Milledgeville, Ga.
Mettenberger, currently enrolled at Buttler Community College,  has also recieved a scholarship offer from LSU. Apparently both Nick Saban abd Les Miles have seen Gene Chizik's success with a troubled QB from another school (Cam Newton) and want one for their own.


Crossing the Atlantic: Boston College, FSU, Maryland, and more.

(Crossing the Atlantic is a look at the ACC and other schools on the East Coast.) 
 Where have you gone, Matty Ice? Boston College is dead last in the ACC when it comes to conversions in the red zone. (BC Interruption)

Thursday Night Fever. Florida State meets North Carolina State Thursday night. Despite some notorious losses in the past, Thursday nights have been better in recent years for the Seminoles. (

Twenty-one was my number, man. Right now someone else has that number. Despite complaints from some Maryland basketball fans that Greivis Vasquez's no. 21 was being worn by another player this season, the school has no plans to change its policy on not retiring jersey numbers. (The Baltimore Sun)

Missed opportunities. Virginia missed out on signing QB's Russell Wilson of NC State, and Michael Brown of Liberty, despite their proximity to Chalottesville. (The Roanoke Times)

The Ramblin' Restless. Don't look now, but some Georgia Tech fans are getting a little anxious over head football coach Paul Johnson. (From the Rumble Seat)

The Big Ten will someday regret making Iowa and Purdue innerdivisional rivals (if it hasn't already)

There are decisions made in sports that have led to nothing put pain. Decisions like baseball owners deciding to make Bud Selig Commissioner of Baseball. Or the NFL deciding that Jacksonville would make a dandy city for a football franchise. Or Georgia deciding that Ray Goff was the best choice to succeed Vince Dooley.
Such an event looks like it happened when the Big Ten decided that Purdue would be the best choice for Iowa's annual innerdivisional rival, despite the fact that most Hawkeye fans would rather have had Wisconsin as their permanent rival from the "X" Division. Anybody who watched last Saturday's game between Wisconsin and Iowa could see the kind of magic on the gridiron that college football would be missing as an annual event.
So now Iowa has to look forward to Purdue as their X Division/Big Ten East/Ro*Tel Division rival. Not that Purdue is a truly bad football school on the level of a Vanderbilt. It's just that things really haven't been that exciting since that Drew Brees guy graduated.
Sadly the Big Ten never took into consideration that Black Heart Gold Pants was an Iowa sports blog. Or what deviousness it could come up with having to make lemonade out of lemmings. Such as declarations of 1984-esque hatred like "We are at war with Purdue. We have always been at war with Purdue."  Or accusing rival SB Nation blog Hammer and Rails of communist leanings. Or this creative act of insurrection:

Gaze upon your decision, Jim Delany, and despair.

(via Black Heart Gold Pants)

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Derek Dooley Quote of the Day: "Nobody gets sick on a Monday."

A number of Tennessee players reportedly called in sick on Monday. Speaking about it with reporters on Tuesday, Derek Dooley wasn't too enthused by their actions.

"There is no other option. It doesn't matter if you're hurtin', 'I'm sick, I got the flu, I got the swine flu.' It doesn't matter. You work. And you go to work and you put it all in every day."
Dooley said he was unhappy that "a couple of people in our organization" called in sick Monday.
"Are you kidding me?" Dooley asked. "You shouldn't be sick on a Monday. Nobody gets sick on a Monday. You're not sick."

Here's some video of His Hairness showing his displeasure on the field.

Vols' team members might not want avoid dying at the moment. His Hainess might still make them run up and down the bleachers.

(Go Vols Xtra)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Arkansas' player pot bust, Auburn-Ole Miss, graduation rates, and more

Arkansas defensive tackle Dequinta Jones has been arrested for posession of marijuana.  Fake Twitter personality Summer of Mallett has already denied involvement. (

Could Ole Miss upset Auburn? There's a possibility, but no chance. (Team Speed Kills)

SEC graduation rates. Vanderbilt comes out on top. Ole Miss at the bottom. Least. Shocking. News. Ever. (Anchor of Gold)

Holding out for a song parody. A Bulldog rendition of Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero."

"Where have all the good Dawgs gone and where are all the gods?
Where's the great white UGA VIII to fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight with a rocket arm?
Late at night I toss & I turn & I dream of a Gator defeat

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero til the end of the game
He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be ready to fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero on Saturday
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be quick
And he's gotta be Kris Durham
Kris Durham"

Since this involves the World's Largest (BANNED BY DR. MICHAEL ADAMS), Georgia's gonna need more than a hero.

(Dawg Sports)

Big Tentacles: Kirk Ferentz confesses, Michigan State, Rich Rodriguez, and more

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big 10 and the teams it not-so-secretly covets.)  
 My bad. Kirk Ferentz admits to choking in Iowa's loss to Wisconsin. (Black Heart Gold Pants)

Is it Midnight yet? Michigan State's Cinderella season may be in jeopardy this weekend on the road against Iowa. Then again "Don't bet against The Dantonio" is slowly becomming as much of a mantra around here as "Don't bet against The Izzo" is. (Off Tackle Empire)

Will Michigan-Penn State be the biggest game in Rich-Rod's career? Maybe not. But it could be another nail in the coffin of his tenure as Michigan head football coach. (Maize and Blue Nation)

Ohio State's keys to victory? Wide reciever Devier Posey and defensive tackle Cameron Heyward's performance may be the determining factor when it comes to whether or not Ohio State wins out the remainder of the season. (Eleven Warriors)

Perfect timing? Bret Bielema thinks Wisconsin's deserves it's buy week, following the Badgers' back-to-back wins against Michigan and Iowa. (, Bucky's 5th Quarter)

Beggars can't be choosers. Brian Kelly says he'll take any bowl game invite given to the Fighting Irish. Maybe Notre Game can take Navy's place in the  Poinsettia Bowl. Navy might have more options than ND will at the end of the year. (USA Today)

Your Ricky Stanzi "America, Love It or Leave It!" Moment of the Day presents: America, Love It or Leave It Idol

(Your Ricky Stanzi America, Love It or Leave It!" Moment of the Day is SWRT's tribute to the spirit of America embodied by America's Quarterback, Ricky Stanzi)

Marines singing "Build Me Up Buttercup."

Well, it's supposed to be "Build Me Up Buttercup," but what it really sounds like is freedom.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

All the folks on Rocky Top get their quarterback controversy from a jar.

It looks like a serious quarterback controversy may be brewing up in Knoxville. Freshman QB Tyler Bray was reportedly getting extra practice with the Tennessee's first-team offense on Monday, while Matt Simms was on the sidelines watching. Simms was noticed limping off the field at the end of practice.
Though Bray's stats during his playing time in the loss to Alabama weren't impressive, Tennessee coach Derek Dooley seemed pleased with the progress of the freshman quarterback with the world's most notorious back tattoo.

“He got experience,” Dooley said. “I don’t think looking back we would have won the game had we not played him. He put together some nice drives late in the game and didn’t finish them off, which is what Matt did.”

As for Simms, he doesn't seem too pleased with sharing playing time with Bray. Saying "Yeah, [coaches] know exactly how I feel about that." Which means that things on Rocky Top might get a little more rocky.

(via Go Vols Xtra)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Auburn trifecta, Georiga poetry, and Derek Dooley

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC  news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.) 

 Auburn deserves to be the #1 school in the BCS rankings. Because Chuck Oliver, "The King of College Football" (and Auburn grad) says so. (

Enjoy it while it lasts, Auburn fans. Clay Travis wonders what will happen at Auburn when Cam Newton declares himself for the NFL Draft, and Gene Chizik's offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn gets a head coaching job elsewhere. (Fanhouse)

Yes Virginia, there's an official Cam Newton Heisman campaign website. (Team Speed Kills)

Derek Dooley should have used an Battle of the Alamo analogy instead of a Nazi analogy. Because Clay Travis said so. Shut up, Clay. (Fanhouse)

Bulldog poetry corner. A poem about the Dawgs' season to date before heading off against Florida in the World's Largest (CENSORED BY DR. MICHAEL ADAMS) on Saturday. Wouldn't "The Charge of the Light Brigade" have been more appropriate? (Dawg Sports)

Monday, October 25, 2010

Oh no, Derek Dooley didn't just compare the Vols to the Nazis at D-Day, did he?

Oh yes, he did.

"He (Dooley) assigned UT the role of the Germans, and its weekly opposition as the Americans.
"Here comes the boats, they're coming. You have the binoculars, and it's like, 'Oh, my God, the invasion is coming,'" Dooley said. "They call (German Field Marshall Erwin) Rommel - they can't find Rommel.
"'What do we do? I'm not doing anything until I get orders,'" Dooley continued, as he pretended to look through binoculars. "'Have you gotten Rommel yet?'
"The Americans were the exact opposite. We hit the beach, and we were on the wrong spot. 'What do we do? I don't know, but these guys are firing and we better hide over there and blow some stuff up to get up there.' They weren't looking for (help). That's where we've got to make that transition."
Dooley then quickly apologized for potentially offending any Germans."

His Hairness is probably going to get a lot of flack for this. On the other hand, he could have used some poorer choices for comparison that would have come off worse. And awkward press conferences are the least of Tennessee's problems, on the gridiron or on the hardwood.

(via Go Vols XTra, Deadspin)

When Snoop Dogg met Ryan Mallett

Yes that's legendary rapper Snoop Dogg meeting with legendary overrated Arkansas quarterback Ryan Mallett.  It's a meeting that had to happen. Snoop Dogg smokes pot, and Mallett is a dope.
Why would Snoop Dogg want to meet Ryan Mallett in the first place? Maybe it had to do with Mallett's contribution to hip-hop infamy?

(via Arkansas Sports 360, Arkansas Expats)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Auburn, Alabama, Georgia-Florida,

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC  news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.) 
 Number One with a bullet. Welcome to the top of the BCS standings, Auburn. Hope you survive! (Dr. Saturday)

Back in the saddle again. With previously undefeated Oklahoma going down, Alabama's chances of getting back to the BCS Championship are going up, slightly. (Roll 'Bama Roll)

All the folks on Rocky Top get their quarterback controversy from a jar.  Tennessee junior QB Matt Simms isn't too happy with sharing playing time on the field with freshman Tyler Bray. (Chattanooga Times Free Press)

The World's Largest Group Therapy Session? Psychoanalyzing Florida and Georgia's mental hang-ups before this weekend's installment of the World's Largest Outdoor (CENSORED BY DR. MICHAEL ADAMS). (Dawg Sports)

What's Chris Petersen thinking this week?

"What? Boise St. got jumped over again in the BCS? Aw, man!"

"It was cool seeing Mizzou take down Oklahoma. Sending those plays to Gary Pinkel to use against Bob  Stoops sure did help."

"You know what sucks? Boise has a game against Louisiana Tech on Tuesday. And what does ESPN do?Bump us over to ESPN 2 so they can show The World Series of Poker. How lame is that?

"There's an all-Pearl Jam station on Sirius/XM? Cool!"

"How can Auburn jump ahead of us? Man, I'm beginning to think Cam Newton manlove is going to be worse than Tebow manlove."

"I hear George Noory is going to be doing a show on Baylor football. It seems that some people see Baylor in the BCS Standings when Texas isn't is a sure sign of the Apocalypse. 

"I'm not rooting for the Giants in the World Series. The reason? All those darn panda hats. Panda hats are stupid. Rangers are better than pandas any day of the week.  I want to be a Ranger.  I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Golddomedammerung: Don't be alarmed, Kansas City...

That loud noise you hear throughout your great metropolitan area is just Charlie Weis cackling madly over Notre Dame's devastating loss to Navy. How's that coaching change working, South Bend?

I know what Ricky Stanzi did last summer

Spending the summer watching the latest box-office blockbusters (or flops) is de rigueur for most American young men of college age. Iowa's Ricky Stanzi, a.k.a.  America's Quarterback, spent more than enough time watching films as well. Though in his case they were more in the line of Hawkeye opponent's defensive lines than of Iron Man II and Inception.
Stanzi decided this summer to spend more time watching game film. The Iowa coaching staff provided him with films of each Hawkeye opponent on the 2010 schedule. To hear Stanzi explain it, there's more to studying game film than just watching the game.

“It’s easy to stop and start watching the game and the ball and you’re not even watching what you need to watch,” Stanzi said. “You really need to be in tune when you get into that film room.
“It’s definitely a mental exercise. You put the phone away. All the distractions and anything that can take your focus away, and you’re very critical with your eye and you kind of train yourself to do that.”

So it seems to have helped. Stanzi's stats have improved this year, to the point where he is the leader in Big Ten pass efficiency, and third in the nation. The extra due diligence studying film is also bound be noticed by NFL scouts and front office personnel when it comes to the 2011 NFL Draft.

(via Omaha World-Herald)

Friday, October 22, 2010

30,000 Hits! Thanks

SWRT has reached the 30,000 hit mark. And just two months after hitting the 20,000 mark. Thanks everybody for checking in. Especially tose who keep coming back for more.
Just a reminder that you can keep up with SWRT on Twitter, and also on Facebook.

Big Tentacles: Bret Bielema's tattoo, Tim Brewster, Robbie Hummel, and...NORM!

Oh no he di'int! Wisconsin head football coach Bret Bielema has an Iowa Hawkeye tattoo on his leg form his days when he played for Iowa under Hayden Fry. (Dr. Saturday)

Oh, no he didn't. Did you hear that rumor about Tim Brewster smashing a trophy case when he heard that Minnesota fired him? Well, it's not true, so don't worry about it. (College Football Blog)

Hummel's new role. Robbie Hummel will be taking on the war of "quasi-assistant coach" for Purdue while recovering from a season-ending tear in his ACL. (Boiler Station)

NORM! Iowa has officially gotten behind a grassroots effort to honor defense coordinator Norm Parker, how has been hospitalized on several occasions due to complications related to diabetics, during the Wisconsin-Iowa showdown. Hawkeye fans are encouraged to chant "NORM!" on Wisconsin first downs. (Fight for Iowa)

Derek Dooley hat sighting

Here's the most recent footage of Tennessee coach Derek Dooley and the hat that everyone in Tennessee wants.

A Cam Newton jack-o-lantern? A Cam Newton jack-o-lantern.

A Cam Newton jack-0-lantern.

War pumpkin.

(via The War Eagle Reader)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: 'Bama QB "controversy," Cam Newton's heart, and more

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC  news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.) 
 Quarterback controversy at Alabama? Some  'Bama fans seem to be turning on Greg McElroy after recent struggles, and calling for back-up A.J. McCarron to start. Fickle, fickle, fickle. (Roll 'Bama Roll)

I'll take "Things I don't want to hear my team's starting quarterback say for $1,000, " Alex. Auburn's Cam Newton says "My heart is still at Florida because of the long-lasting relationships I have with my teammates there. Leaving them was the hardest part." (ESPN)

OOPS! Seven South Carolina players received "impermissibly paid" meals last summer. (The Post and Courier)

Florida Fans should let Urban Meyer fix the Gators. Because Pat Dooley said so. (The Gainesville Sun)

This just in. Bobby Petrino not popular with his former assistant coaches from his brief stopover with the Atlanta Falcons. (

Not ready for prime time? Tennessee's Tyler Bray isn't quite ready to stand up to competition like Alabama or South Carolina, says Chris Martin. (

Phone calls I would have loved to have had a wiretap on. Barbara Dooley once called up then-LSU head football coach Nick Saban to complain that a practice scheduled for Christmas Eve would mean her son (then Saban's assistant coach) Derek Dooley wouldn't be home for Christmas. (

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Big Tentacles: Wisconsin vs. Iowa, Rich Rodriguez, and...Stanley Kubrick?

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big 10 and the teams it not-so-secretly covets.)  

 The game too close to call? Saturday's showdown between Wisconsin and Iowa is declared by Off Tackle Empire as "The Toughest Game EVER To Pick." (Off Tackle Empire)

Wisconsin plays "American football." Because Bret Bielema says so. Guess how Black Heart Gold Pants, the epicenter of the Ricky Stanzi/America meme, thinks about it? (Black Heart Gold Pants)

Number Two with a bullet. Michigan State ranked at number two in the preseason USA Today Top 25 Basketball Coaches' Poll.  Not surprisingly, Duke is at #1. Ohio St. takes #5, and Purdue is at #8. (USA Today
Least shocking news on the week. Michigan head coach Rich Rodriguez on the Coaches Hot Seat Blog "Coaches Hot Seat Rankings." (Coaches Hot Seat Blog)

The Ghost of Stanley Kubrick - "Dr. Strangbadger." Three guesses where this one came from. (Black Heart Gold Pants)

Your Pac-12 division breakdowns.

Here is the official division alignment for the Pac-12.

Washington St
Oregon St

Arizona St

The California schools will continue to face each other every season.

(via ESPN, The Sporting News)

Crossing the Atlantic: Miami, Boston College, Duke basketball, and more

(Crossing the Atlantic is a look at the ACC and other schools on the East Coast.) 

 Make your travel plans now. Miami will face Michigan State in a home-and-home series in 2020 and 2011. (ESPN)

A November to remember? In other scheduling news, Boston College's meetings with Notre Dame will be pushed back to November in 2011 and 2012. (BC Interruption)

Miami "will win a national championship" under Randy Shannon. Because Luther (Luke) Campbell says so. (Miami New Times)

This year's Duke basketball squad is more talented than last year's. Because Coach K says so. Want to argue with him? (The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Color Him Father. Georgia Tech linebacker Julian Burnett works hard to honor his late father. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

We must protect this basketball goal. New basketball unis for Maryland and Boston College via Under Armour. (Dime)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

If John Cena were English, this is who he'd be.

The group is called Missing Andy. They were finalists on a UK Pop Idol/X-Factor knockoff called Must Be the Music. For some reason the lead singer, Alex Greaves,  reminds me a lot like WWE wrestlet John Cena. If he were English and could actually rap, that is.

Big Tentacles: Joe Paterno, Heisman hopefuls, Ohio State and...GHOSTS!

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big 10 and the teams it not-so-secretly covets.)  

Joe Paterno doesn't like facemasks. JoePa thinks that facemasks promote the kind of helmet-to-helmet hits that plagued the NFL last weekend.  He claims it makes players "fearless."(Dr. Saturday)

What makes a good Minnesota coach? A look at the qualities that Tim Brewster's replacement should have. (Off Tackle Empire

As for actual candidates...Sporting News has their choices for the job. And yes, Mick Leach is on the list, unsurprisingly. (Sporting News)

Big Ten Heisman hopes. One blog lists Wisconsin running back John Clay as a "front runner" for the Heisman Trophy.  Quarterbacks Terrelle Pryor (Ohio State), Denard Robinson (Michigan), and Taylor Martinez (Nebraska) are declared to be "falling off the pace." And America's Quarterback Ricky Stanzi (Iowa) is listed as a "sleeper." (Opposing Views)

Basketball fix of the day: Purdue's Robbie Hummel is planning a 2011-12 return to the Boilermakers following season-ending surgery to fix his re-torn ACL, according to his father. (ESPN)

Always look on the bright side of life. A BCS championship may be out of the question, but there's still a lot for Ohio State to fight for. Such as a Rose Bowl berth and extending the winning streak against Michigan to a seventh straight year. (Eleven Warriors)

Mirror, Mirror. Iowa and Wisconsin are called mirror-images of each other. So which quarterback gets to be cool Mirror Universe Spock and wear the goatee, Scott Tolzien or Ricky Stanzi? (ESPN)

Ghost story. Students at Penn State are planning an unofficial "ghost out" for the Oct. 30 home game against Michigan. The goal is to get fans to dress up as ghosts. And yes, the obligatory KKK white sheet comment has been made. So don't waste you're time coming up with one. (Onward State)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Ryan Mallett, Aaron Murray, and...The Island of Misfit Toys?

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC  news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.) 

 Mr. Mallett will be fine, thank you very much. Arkansas quarterback Ryan Mallett was practicing in full gear on Tuesday, just three days after suffering a concussion that took him out of the game during the loss to Auburn. (Arkansas News)

One hit to the body. With concussions and hard hitting play in the news this past weekend, it's easy to see why Georgia offensive coordinator and quarterback coach Mike Bobo is worried about the hits that Georgia starting quarterback Aaron Murray. Especially with Georgia lacking in depth when is comes to the QB position. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Yes, Virginia. There's a

He's coming! No he's not! Yes he is! Recruit Nick Brassell commits, then de-commits, then re-commits to Mississippi State. (BullDawg Junction, For Whom the Cowbell Tolls)

Skip Holtz the Red-Nosed Reindeer? The first year University of South Florida head football coach compares his skills players to "the land of Misfit Toys." Note that Charlie-in-the-Boxes don't make great wide receivers, but you can always find uses for spotted elephants on special teams. Sadly, NCAA regulations don't allow ostrich riding cowboys on the field. (Voodoo Five, Tampa

Bearded wonders: Mark RIcht lets Dawgs grow puppy scruff

Traditionally Georgia head football coach Mark Richt has forbidden his players to have facial hair. But desperate times call for desperate measures. So Richt has loosened up his policy in return for the team shaving down the number of  turnovers during games. If the Dawgs have fewer turnovers than the opposing team, they don't have to shave unless they want to (or unless their mommas make them. Which is Aaron Murray's reason for keeping the clean-cut look). Richt hopes that “they are the nastiest looking bunch in America by the end of the year.”
The negative side of this policy, of course, is the possibility for some really nasty looking mugshots if the team doesn't get it's off-the-field act together.  

(via the Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Auburn, the SEC East, and more

Auburn may be the best team in the country. Because Chuck Oliver, "The King of College Football" says so. Note that Oliver is an Auburn grad, so he's biased. But the Tigers so have the best resume of wins over projected bowl teams, which does make a good argument for the claim. (

Gene Chizik's hiring by Auburn was "inspired."  Because Paul Finebaum says so. Shut up, Paul. (

Hey Jenny Slater's description of the current state of UGA and the SEC East:

"On October 3 we woke up to find that we'd turned into a cockroach -- and two weeks later we ventured outside to find that everyone else had turned into cockroaches, too."

(Hey Jenny Slater)

Georgia's defeat of Vanderbilt explained through fine art. How you would expect a Vandy loss would be explained. (Anchor of Gold)

It pays to beat Florida. Mississippi State linebacker Chris White named SEC Defensive Player of the Week. (For Whom the Cowbell Tolls)

The Izzo's big Midnight Madness entrance in all it's glory.

Remember that photo of Tom Izzo in a spacesuit during Michigan State's Midnight Madness event? Well here's the video.

Bucky Badger as Ego the Living Planet was a nice touch. And Duke as the Death Star? Epic. (But would that make Coach K Darth Vader or Emperor Palpatine?
Will the Spartans succeed in accomplishing their mission? Just remember SWRT's First Rule of March Madness - "Don't bet against The Izzo."

Monday, October 18, 2010

Your Ricky Stanzi "America, Love It or Leave It!" Moment of the Day: Cam Newton supports the military

This was Auburn quarterback Cam Newton after the Tigers victory against Arkansas Saturday night. I'm not sure if those are members Auburn Navy and Air Force ROTC, or actual members of the military, but it doesn't matter. This pic is freakin' awesome.

(via EDSBS)

Big Tentacles: Ricky Stanzi, Iowa-Wisconsin, BCS predictions, and more

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big 10 and the teams it not-so-secretly covets.)  
America's Quarterback honored. Ricky Stanzi has been named the Big Ten's Offensive Player of the Week. (

The  end of the annual Iowa-Wisconsin rivalry its ugly head again. According to Big Ten Conference Commissioner Jim Delany, the most talked-about topic during the conference's meetings on realignment over the summer was what to do with the Iowa-Wisconsin. They still gave the rivalry the shaft over the Wisconsin-Minnesota rivalry. (The (Cedar Rapids)Gazette)

Gerald Butler's Epic East Lansing Adventure. The 300 star did more this weekend than pop in to Michigan State's Midnight Madness celebration. He also conducted the Spartan Marching Band at during the Spartans' Homecoming victory against Illinois on Saturday.  (Deadspin)

Butler may have come a little to East Lansing a little early though. Showing up when Michigan State faces Persa and Northwestern this weekend would have been better.

Probably incorrect BCS Bowl predictions of the week. Off Tackle Empire has Ohio vs. Boise State in the Rose Bowl, and Michigan State against Alabama in the Sugar Bowl.

Ron Zook can relate to Tim Brewster. Zook, like Brewster, was fired mid-season from Florida in 2004. And to be honest, Zook  probably still isn't out of the woods yet when it comes to returning to Illinois next year. (Decatur Herald & Review)

Tennessee's Tyler Bray may play against Alabama.

Tennessee head football coach Derek Dooley says that freshman quarterback Tyler Bray will play sometime during  the first half of the Tennessee-Alabama game.
Yes, that Tyler Bray.

Be afraid, Vols fans. Be very afraid.

(via Rocky Top Talk)

What's Chris Petersen thinking?

"What? Boise State's third in the BCS? Aw, geez! Punk'd again!"

"Chokelahoma is the number one team in the BCS? Seriously? I've got two words for that: Go Huskers! What? Nebraska's not on the schedule? Oh well, there's always that Big XII matchup to hope for."

"Too bad victories in previous seasons don't count in the BCS. 'Cause it just so happens we kicked both Oregon and Oklahoma's butts before."

"Off Tackle Empire has us playing Ohio State in the Rose Bowl. I think I'll did up my blue sweater vest out of the closet to annoy Jim Tressel just in case."

"Then again, the Rose Bowl will probably punk us there and pick whatever team finished second in the Pac-10. I mean they picked Illinois over Georgia a few years ago. Really, Rose Bowl."

"I just have to remember that we only need to be Number Two at the end of the year."

"Thanks for losing last week, Nevada and Oregon St. You really did our strength of schedule a world of good there."

"Okay, confession time. I thought my promo for ESPN College Gameday was kind of lame too."

"Oh, and congrats to Washington's Steve Sarkisian on that victory against Oregon St. You're off my Christmas card list, dude."

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Tim Brewster is an ex-gopher

Minnesota has given head football coach Tim Brewster the boot. Following yesterday's loss to Purdue, it was expected that Brewster would be let go. Jeff Horton, the Golden Gopher's offensive coordinator, will serve as interim head coach.
According to ESPN, the school approached former Indianapolis Colts head coach Tony Dungy to replace Brewster, but was turned down. Dungy, who played for Minnesota and got his coaching start there as a defensive backs coach, will instead help in the search for a new coach.

(via ESPN, Black Heart Gold Pants)

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Florida, Steve Spurrier, Auburn , and more

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC  news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.) 

Florida is now an also-ran. Because Pat Dooley said so. Oh well, I hear Shreveport is beautiful in late December. (The Gainesville Sun)

Is Steve Spurrier the new Les Miles? The Old Ball Coach's clock management skills are being called into question after the last two minutes of South Carolina's loss to Kentucky. (Dr. Saturday)

Can Auburn go undefeated? After defeating Arkansas, the question of an undefeated season for the Tigers and a shot at the BCS championship may not be out of the question. (

Don't Worry, Be Happy. Trying to overlook the obvious negatives on LSU's 32-10 victory over McNeese St. And with a team that's more lucky than good, that can be a trick. (And the Valley Shook

Compliance issue? What compliance issue? Tennessee athletic director Mike Hamilton there is not an issue of lack of institutional control in Knoxville. The NCAA may have other ideas in mind on that subject. (Go Vols XTra)

The SEC East looks like the ACC. Because Team Speed Kills said so. Good, then let's just go ahead and invite Clemson into the conference to make it official. (Team Speed Kills)

UGA VIII: They Call Me Bruce

UGA VIII (left) faces off with interim mascot Russ (right)
Despite being officially given the title of UGA VIII in front of the  homecoming crowd before Georgia's victory against Vanderbilt, many in the crowd were shouting out "Bruuuce," in honor of the new mascot's given name, Big Bad Bruce. The name was given to honor the UGA dynasty's veterinarian, Bruce Hollett.
"He'll be known across the country as Uga. He has to be," said UGA grad Kyle Renz. "But here, I think some people will call him Bruce." Friend and fellow alumnus Josh Honea isn't so sure.
"I think he'll be known as Uga. There's too much history there," Honea said after the game.
Other fans gave similar reviews. "Bruce" sounds like a down-to-earth, hard worker, some said - the sort of mascot the Bulldogs can use right now.
Older alums tended to eschew Uga VIII's given name. The shout from the crowd was a one-time introductory welcome, most said.
Younger grads and current students were more likely to approve of the name and predict that fans will use it as a type of nickname for Uga VIII."
The Bulldog Nation seems to be a little divided on the subject. Oh well. Honestly calling him "Uga The Bruce" has a nice ring to it. It invokes images of Braveheart and the legendary Scottish king, Robert the Bruce. Though It's doubtful that the Seiler family, who has taken care of the UGA Dynasty since day one, will be willing to paint UGA VIII's face half-blue.

(via the Athens Banner-Herald)

What's Urban Meyer thinking?

"Alright, who died and made me Mark Richt?"

"I knew things were going to go off the rails fast when Dan Mullen came up to me before the game and said “When I left you, I was but the learner, now I am the master.” I thought the black was a little too much, though."

"Thanks, Addazio, you've been a lot of help this year. You've been about as useful as men's room attendant in a convent."

"How do I know Addazio is the hated most man in Florida? When his only supporter is Mike Bianchi."

"Why did I leave Utah in the first place? Oh yeah, now I remember. The administration was on to my stash of Mountain Dew in my office." 

"At least I've learned one thing from Mark Richt. When in trouble, have incompetent assistant coaches who can serve as scapegoats close at hand." 

"And oh yeah, Richt. I heard about your little "Orange in the new black" comment last week. Just wait 'till the Cocktail Party, mister. I'm going to be letting a lot of pent-up frustration out in Jacksonville."

 "Joker Phillips has been leaving me messages all night. I guess he wants a little advice after Spurrier and South Carolina kicked his team's...WHAT? Kentucky beat South Carolina? Oh, crap!"

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Tom Izzo is ready to go to infinity and beyond! (Or at least to Houston)

Tom Izzo made his traditional big entrance with wife Lupe and daughter Raquel  at Michigan State's Midnight Madness dressed in an astronaut's spacesuit. The getup was in reference to the 2011 NCAA Final Four being held in Houston, home of NASA's Johnson Space Center.
The astronaut costume wasn't the only surprise The Izzo had in store for the Spartan faithful in attendance. King Leonidas himself,  300 star  Gerard Butler made a special appearance at the event.

Luckily Butler left the 300 costumes at home, as he's kind of lost his Spartan figure.

(via The Detroit News,

Your Ricky Stanzi "America, Love It or Leave It!" Moment of the Day brought to you by the New York Yankees

The New York Yankees came back from a 5-1 deficit  the in the eighth inning to beat the Texas Rangers in the first game of the ALCS. So why is this the "Ricky Stanzi "America, Love It Or Leave It" Moment of the Day? Because a victory against any team from Texas is a victory for America. Yes Texas is part of the Fifty States, but there are times the Lone Star State kind of forgets that.
By the way, check out the looks on Nolan Ryan's face:

That's the face of somebody's whose soul being has just munched on.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Covering Dixie Like Mildew: Steve Addazio, Greg McElroy, Stephen Garcia (aka Aldous Snow?) and more

(Covering Dixie Like Mildew is the SWRT roundup of SEC  news, with the occasional pesky Southern school from another conference.)

Gator fans should praise Steve Addazio, not bury him. Because Mike Bianchi says so. Shut up, Mike. (Orlando Sentinel)

Replacements for Steve Addazio. Yes, there's already a list of candidates to replace Addazio ranging from the fairly plausible (Steve Spurrier  Jr. and Danny Wuerffel) to the amazingly ridiculous (Urban Meyer's teenage son Nate). (Alligator Army)

The SEC 2010 Legends Class. The players and coaches honored by the SEC this year includes Arkansas head coach Frank Broyles, Kentucky quarterback Tim Couch, and Mississippi State wide receiver Eric Moulds.(
My bad.  Greg McElroy takes responsibility for Alabama's loss to South Carolina. (

Dear Students. Auburn's Gene Chizik sends out an open letter to Auburn students asking them to " be loud and energetic the entire game," while showing "the class and sportsmanship that you demonstrate each and every week" for the showdown at home against Arkansas. Translation: "Don't show your behinds and embarrass me, kids." (Track 'Em Tigers)

Are Stephen Garcia and Aldous Snow the same person? Would that make Steve Spurrier Sergio Roma?  (Fanhouse)

Two SEC coaches walk into a bar...Which SEC head football coach could would you want to hand out in a bar with? Dawg Sports' MaconDawg says he'd hang out with Vanderbilt's Robbie Caldwell. I wonder if Caldwell would order a shot of Wild Turkey. (Dawg Sports)

Clemson's Dabo Swinney gets smacked around by Danny Ford on the radio

Clemson head football coach Dabo Swinney hasn't had a good season. The Tigers are 2-3 and have three straight losses to Auburn, Miami, and North Carolina. To make things worse, Swinney has just been given the thumbs down on the radio by legendary Clemson Coach Danny Ford. Interviewed by Sportsradio 1400 The Team's Corey Miller, Ford stated that Clemson might only win 1-2 games this season, among other criticisms of the program. Audio of the interview can be found here.
Ford's criticisms of Swinney echo the thoughts of many Clemson supporters. Getting slammed by the the man who is arguably most important person in  Clemson football history is never good for any Clemson coach's job security. Whether it will factor in to Swinney's continued employment at Clemson, however, is yet to be seen.


Thursday, October 14, 2010

Big Tentacles: Running quarterbacks, weird science, Ricky Stanzi's hair, and more

(Big Tentacles is the SWRT look at the Big 10 and the teams it not-so-secretly covets.)  

 The Big Ten's new crop of running quarterbacks. They're faster than a speeding bullett. But can they leap tall cans of Barbasol? (Off Tackle Empire)

Perd-use your delusion. With tough conference games between Ohio State-Wisconsin, Iowa-Michigan, and Michigan State-Illinois. Purdue could wind up as the top team in the Big Ten if the Boilermakers get past Minnesota. (Hammer and Rails)

Stat of the day. Wisconsin is 25-for-28 in it's most recent night games. Meanwhile, Ohio State is 16-10 in the past ten years. (, Bucky's 5th Quarter)

It's official. Michigan will face Alabama to start 2012 facing each other at Cowboys Stadium. (ESPN)

"Scientifically" trying to show Michigan will beat Iowa. Sadly, the based on the severely flawed logic of "heads I win, tails you lose." (iSportsweb)

Project Runway, Big Ten edition. Part I.  Nike wanted Penn State to try out some of those Pro Combat uniforms. No dice. (, Dr. Saturday )

Project Runway, Big Ten edition. Part Deux. An in depth look at Ohio State head coach Jim Tressel's v-neck sweater vest. (Dr. Saturday)

Does Iowa's Ricky Stanzi need a haircut? One blogger gives ten things America's Quarterback could do with his hair. Don't expect Stanzi to try most of them. (Top 10 Big Ten)

Congratulations, Ole Miss. It's a bear.

Congratulations to Ole Miss for picking the most boring mascot possible. Students were given a choice between a bear, a land shark, and a goober is a spandex body stocking named Hotty Toddy as a replacement for Colonel Reb. Sadly, they picked the bear. Thus diminishing any kind of fun they could have had with a land shark possible. Ole Miss missed out in turning The Grove into a Parrothead paradise. Trust me, hearing "Margaritaville"after every touchdown would have been awesome. (Though the administration might have gotten a little too anal about that idea with the consumption of alcohol connotations. Maybe "Fins" would have been better.)
Meanwhile, check out this (hopefully) last word on the whole Colonel Reb/mascot controversy via  Red Cup Rebellion.  It pretty much is in line with the SWRT mantra about tradition being good when it links you to the past, but bad when it binds you to the past.

(via ESPN, Red Cup Rebellion)