Monday, November 30, 2009

Meyer and Tebow: A story like no other

SEC Championship Week is here. Expect loads of tributes to Tim Tebow from here on, especially if the Gators win Saturday night. Sadly, expect to see one or two like this:

Me and God are gonna have a long talk about posting this one someday. It's so wrong, but you'll probably see worse.

(via YouTube)

The Golddomedammerung: It's over

It's official. Charlie Weis is out as Notre Dame head football coach. Cue the Wagnerian music:

The Twilight of the Dome has begun. If you see any giant serpents or ships made of fingernails making their way towards South Bend let me know. In the meantime, sit back and watch the Domers who ran Weis off choke on their own hubris as their dream coaches all turn down the chance to coach the Former Irish, and ND has to settle with some b-lister.

(via New York Post, Deadspin,)

Derek Jeter: SI's Sportsman of the Year

Derek Jeter has gotten the nod for Sports Illustrated's 2009 Sportsman of the Year. Hard to say that there was a more worthy athlete for this honor than him this year. Tim Tebow might be a close second, but a lackluster close to his college football career may have done his chances in.
The Yankees pretty much have been the sports story of the year. Everything from the new stadium to A*Rod's performance enhancing drugs use to winning the World Series has happened in 2009. And in the center of it all was Derek Jeter, the greatest Yankee of this generation.
Jeter's numbers might be behind other Yankee players. But without a doubt he is the centerpiece of what could possibly become the next Yankee Dynasty What can be said of Jeter is that he is probably the player a lot of parents would want their son to grow up and be like.

(via Sports Illustrated. Thanks to Frag It over at The Outhouse for pointing this one out.)

2,000 hits. Thanks

Sometime Monday morning SWRT reached 2,000 hits. Thanks to everyone who has taken time to check the place out. This includes friends in real life and online, and those strangers who have kind of wandered on the site through a Google search or some other search engine. And for those hits I've gotten from places like India and Germany all I can say
SWRT hit 1,000 hits on November 11. It hit 2,000 on November 30. I wonder how long it will take to his 5,000?
Anyway in the next few weeks expect a few end of the year shenanigans, a Christmas related post or two, and who knows what. Stay tuned.

Sunday, November 29, 2009


What the frak? Seriously. What. The. Frak?
It looks like Hello Kitty got drunk and was knocked up by Captain Caveman (the Hanna-Barbera character, not Warming Glow and Kissing Suzy Kolber's resident Jarhead). This is what came out nine months later (or however long it takes furries to gestate).
This is actually Quatchi, one of the mascots for the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouner, Canada. In case you couldn't tell by the name Quatchi is susposed to be a Sasquatch. Yeah, I'm gonna download in by skivvies if I see this goober in the forests of Canada. Seriously, you call that a Sasquatch? THIS is a Sasquatch:

John Byrne >Whichever dang fool came up with Quatchi.
Vancouver 2010's official website says Quatchi's dream is "To become a world-famous goalie," or at least the world's most famous goalie in Canada. Boy, he sure does look pretty imposing there in front of the net, doesn't he? I'll bet Alexander Ovechkin is shaking in his skates looking at this. Is party now indeed.
I guess we could expect worse ideas for a mascot from Canada. Monte the French Canadian Maple Leaf maybe? Though maybe a sasquatch was a tad too cliche maybe. They should've gone with a Wendigo. Trust me, wendigo's are way cooler than sasquatches. Nine out of ten X-Men agree.

(Two John Byrne references in one post. FTW.)

(apologies as usual to Matthew Gasteier. Probably one or two to Marvel Comics also.)

Terrence Moore has a thinking problem over Georgia Tech

Fanhouse's Terence Moore has a problem with the comments made by Georgia Tech head football coach Paul Johnson after their surprise loss to Georgia Saturday night. Moore claims that Johnson's comments made it sound like the Yellowjackets were setting their "sights too low."
Here's what Johnson said:

"You can't let one game define a season. Our No. 1 goal is to try to win the ACC. We have an opportunity to play for that (next week against Clemson). Like I said, we're all disappointed. We all understand this is a big game. We all wanted to win the game. It just didn't happen, so you move on."

Moore somehow took that on to mean that Georgia Tech wasn't trying to get higher in the BCS:

A bigger game? If the Jackets say so. With that ACC championship game ahead on Saturday in Tampa, they finished the regular season at a pretty good 10-2 instead of an excellent 11-1 after lacking the mindset (I mean, every game is big for those who truly wish to win a national championship) and the run defense (339 yards rushing to an opponent that was averaging 140 yards rushing per game) against Georgia. As a result, the Jackets aren't poised anymore to challenge Texas and those other five teams that were ahead of them in the Bowl Championship Series standings.

Uh, Terrence...this just in: The Jackets weren't in any position to challenge the teams ahead of them in the BCS before the game. Everybody ahead of them (all the undefeated teams) won their games. So one-loss Georgia Tech moving up wasn't really much of a possibility. They might have jumped Boise St. but that's about it.
And G-Tech's BCS fate is pretty much sealed if they win the ACC Championship next week. They're automatically going to the Orange Bowl. There was no serious possibility for a BCS Championship in the cards. Unless major clusterflocks happen it will be Florida/Alabama vs. Texas for the BCS "Championship," with TCU still having a chance to be the BCS buster if Texas goes down.
Logic has never been Terrence Moore's big strength. Everybody in Atlanta who read him in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution could tell you that. But this claim that Georgia Tech could've been a contender is a whole new level of illogical.

(via Fanhouse)

Saturday, November 28, 2009

L.A. Times wastes time on Washington Redskins

Without an NFL team of its own to complain about, The Los Angeles Times ran an editorial piece about the Washington Redskins. Guess which tired argument it was making? Yep, it calling on Washington to drop the Redskins from it's "racist" name.
Wait, it gets better. The Times even went as far to suggest Washington should just call themselves the "Washington Reds." Like a certain baseball team from Cincinnati is going to allow that to happen. Different sport, yes. But that doesn't matter in the anal landscape of modern day copyright protection. Besides, "Reds" has all sorts of connotations on either side of the political spectrum. They'd either be insulting commies or teabaggers.
There are enough problems in California right now for The Los Angeles Times to focus on. Complaining about the Washington Redskins is totally unproductive. Besides, it's doubtful Daniel Snyder is listening. He doesn't listen to anybody else.

(via Maynard Institute, Los Angeles Times)

Report: Selig may retire in 2012

Our long National Pastime nightmare may be over...but not yet. The Sporting News reports Bud Selig turned down an offer from a group of owners to remain as Dictator for Life Commissioner of Baseball after his current contract expires in 2012. The bad news in all of this is that we'll still have to deal with Selig until 2012. But at least there's a possible end to the MLB's downward spiral from cultural relevance.

(via The Sporting News)

Shirts Without Random Triangles: The Who Sell Out, as usual

In its further retreat from cultural relevance, the NFL have named The Who as the act Super Bowl XLIV half given the halftime show to The Who. Or at least what's left of the most overrated band in rock history not named Pink Floyd. There might not be a band that has been more successful at living off it's own exhaust fumes than The Who has been able to do. It didn't take long before the band had started selling this "official" T-Shirt on it's website:

Note: Two of the band members on this t-shirt won't be on the halftime stage in Miami, as they are both a tad bit dead.

(via Can't Stop the Bleeding)

Friday, November 27, 2009

PeTA's dreams of robot dog mascot for Georgia are short-lived.

The University of Georgia has sent a strong message to PeTA: Go play dead.
Well, that's at least what a lot of people would like Georgia to tell PeTA after the animal rights group suggested replacing the recently deceased UGA VII with an "animotronic dog.". That or drop a few lines from that Jay-Z song I suggested a couple of days ago.
But actions speak louder than words. And UGA has spoken by naming UGA VII's half-brother Russ as the intirim mascot until a replacement for UGA VII can be found. This pretty much means PeTA dream to replace UGA with Dynomutt are pretty much shattered. But luckily for them Georgia may be needing to replace an offensive or defensive coordinator in the near future, if not both. And even a Slinky Dog would be a suitable replacement for Willie Martinez.

(via Athens Banner-Herald)

Brett Favre sees something in jay Cutler that almost no rational person does

Everyone's favorite Cute Purple Dinosaur told The Chicago Sun-Times that he of himself in Jay Cutler. Yes, you heard correctly. Brett Favre has given Cutler the Human Interception Machine his seal of approval.
Yeah, I'm pulling the BS card out for this one. I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with both of them sharing the same agent (Bus Cook). No, absolutely nothing whatsoever.
Does Favre really expect anybody to believe this? I believe this as much as I believed his last retirement was legit. Okay, they're he and Cutler are both from the gunslinger side of the quarterback tree. That doesn't really mean Cutler is Favre Jr.
Then again, maybe Cutler reminds Favre of himself in his days as back-up quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons. Back when Favre's partying led the Falcons management to believe he was a bust and traded him off to Green Bay. That one I could believe.

(via The Chicago Sun-Times)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Fun (?) and Games: Inside the BCS vs. NotJayCutler

Here's a fun game for you. Try to figure out which of the following tweets are by two of the most infamous twitter feeds out there right now: Inside the BCS or by NotJayCutler. Click on the tweet to see if you're right, but don't cheat!

1. The strong and understandable push for a playoff beyond 1 v 2 is proof positive of the gravitational pull of bracket creep.

2. Can't decide how to wear my hat; foward (brim to the left) or backward (brim to the right).

3. In 08, the 8-8 Chargers made the playoffs but 11-5 Patriots and 9-7 Jets didn't.

4.@adam_schefter Am I playing this week? Urlacher wants to go to the Hatebreed show in Milwaukee on Saturday and we don't want to drive back.

5. #imthankfulfor Signing a contract extension at the beginning of the season.

6. More than any other sport, the regular season is the most critical in college football. Each week matters. That's a great strength.

7. Vince Young and I have a lot in common. We both replaced alcoholics and we love white women.

8. Of course Cincy is AQ - up late reading all the tweets. Sorry Bearcats and Big East.

Haven't yet seen a way to create a playoff without some sort of poll or ranking system. Hoops can invite 64 - tough for FBS.

10. I'm pretty bummed about all this criticism. I don't even have the desire to go to Hooters tonight.

Yeah, I kind of hard to tell, both ooze of Massengill.


Happy Thanksgiving, HokeyBird. Oh, don't look so suprised. Even a casual visitor to this blog could have figured out you'd be the target for today's entry. What, you expected me to go after CavMan today or something? (Don't worry, he's gonna get his sooner or later).
You're really a leftover (OOPS! Did I say leftover? My bad) from the days when Virginia Tech teams were called the Gobblers. According to legend has less to do with turkeys than it does to how the athletes ate their food...they gobbled it up. The team was called the Gobblers until football coach Bill Dooley changed the name to the Hokies (an early 20th century term from a team cheer c. 1896) because he plum didn't like it. Imagine that. Your team's name gets changed because your new coach is anal. Imaging if Lane Kiffin tried that stunt at Tennessee. Wait, let's not give him ideas.
Anyhow for a turkey you're pretty hefty looking. I'll bet you're invited over forto dinner a lot. Yeah, a lot of the Hokie faithful would just love to have you at the table. You're very popular so I guess you have a real recipe for success. (OOPS! did I say recipe?) You sure do add flavor to...Dang! there I go again!
Aw, forget it. MOM! When do we eat?

(apologies as usual to Matthew Gasteier)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to everybody! I truly am thankful for everyone who's checked SWRT out. There have been over 1600 hits, from places as far as Great Britain, Benin, Germany, and South Korea.

Here's a little Thanksgiving song for you all.

Well, at least it's a song about Turkey.

Washington Wizards' fans should honor Abe Pollin's convictions and shut up about name change

No sooner had Washington Wizards' owner Abe Pollin passed on were that people were calling for the team's name to be changed back to the Washington Bullets. Sheesh, D.C., can we get some breathing room before silly stuff like this can start up?
A few years back Pollin was asked by a fan about the name change.

Delgardo Franklin – District Heights, MD: I'm a life-long Bullets/ Wizards Fan. What was the rationale, if any, for the team name change?

Abe Pollin: It has been awhile since I have been asked this question. Believe me when I say it was not an easy decision. I won a World Championship under the name Bullets. However, too often during the mid to late ‘90s, I would hear the word “bullets” associated with guns and violence instead of my basketball team. While the name was longstanding, I finally reached a point that I was simply tired of the association between the two. Then, my good friend, Prime Minister Rabin was assassinated in Israel. That was the final straw. It was time to change names. With regard to the name “Wizards,” we held a three-tiered contest to determine a new name. The name “Wizards” was selected by the fans and has adorned our uniforms since that time.

There is a huge difference between personal conviction and political correctness. Personal conviction is based on what the individual's own beliefs what of right and wrong are. Political correctness is more about groupthink as opposed to the individual's beliefs. It would seem that the affect of Rabin's murder on Pollin had more to do with the name change than the banalities of political correctness. Changing the name back from the Wizards to the Bullets may be reverse political correctness at best.

Old time Wizards'/Bullets' fans may not like the name change, but that's not who Ted Leonsis Pollin's probable successor as the Wizards' owner, should listen to. The name change was because of Pollin's personal convictions. Leonsis should honor those convictions and the reasons behind them.

(via Mr. Irrevelant,

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Give sports turkey lists the chopping block

It's still not quite Thanksgiving yet and I'm already tired of one kind of turkey: sports turkeys. These is the annual lists created by unimaginative sports talk hosts needing to fill space. They really don't accomplish much, other than providing more embarrassment for some sports personalities that really didn't need it.
Is it that hard to come up with interesting things to say on the day before Thanksgiving? It wouldn't be so bad if more than one or two outlets were doing it. But it seems every one has a turkey list. The usually more creative Pardon The Interruption did their take Wednesday afternoon. Not to be outdone, David Flemming also has his own turkey list over at Sports Illustrated has an entire sports turkeys slide show. And over at FOX, Mark Kriegel comes up with his list of coaching turkeys. Bah Humbug. (I know, wrong holiday. Ask me if I care.)
Sports Turkey lists are one Thanksgiving tradition that needs to put on the chopping block. Believe it or not, there's a lot of good stuff in sports to be thankful for. So wasting a good five minutes or so of everyone's lives really isn't needed this time of year.

(via,, FOX

Georgia Tech has a potty mouth

It's almost time for the annual Georgia Tech/Georgia game aka "Clean Old-Fashioned Hate." It's pretty much going to be a clean old-fashioned beatdown given to UGA by Tech this year. The Bulldog Nation can pretty much expect to hear Techies singing "I'm a Ramblin' Wreck From Georgia Tech" early and often in the game. Probably even more than they heard "Rocky Top" a the loss to Tennessee earlier this year.
"I'm a Ramblin' Wreck From Georgia Tech" has a lot in common with "Rocky Top." It's a seemingly innocent fight song which hides certain evil thought and ideas. Just look at the first verse:
"I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech and a hell of an engineer,
A helluva, helluva, helluva, helluva, hell of an engineer,

Like all the jolly good fellows, I drink my whiskey clear,

I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech and a hell of an engineer."

Techies drink whiskey? No wonder they wrecked! And all that cussing. Do Techies talk to their mothers with that mouth?

And about that drinking. I'm not saying there's a problem with consumption of alcohol at Georgia Tech, but the band frequently plays this at games:

And they call UGA a drinking school with a football problem.
Back to the subject at hand:

"Oh, if I had a daughter, sir, I'd dress her in White and Gold,
And put her on the campus, to cheer the brave and bold.

But if I had a son, sir, I'll tell you what he'd do.

He would yell, "To Hell with Georgia," like his daddy used to do."

Why does a Sublime song come to mine when I hear this?
And "Cheer the brave and bold?" is that what they call it these days? Setting your daughter in what is pretty much considered a rough part of Atlanta isn't a really cool idea. Besides, what exactly are you planning to do your daughter on campus? Seriously, I think someone needs to call DFAC.

"Oh, I wish I had a barrel of rum and sugar three thousand pounds,
A college bell to put it in and a clapper to stir it around.
I'd drink to all good fellows who come from far and near.

I'm a ramblin', gamblin', hell of an engineer."

Gee, what could a Techie do with rum, 3,000 pounds of sugar and a bell? I've heard of moonshine stills exploding with less than this. Heck, Doctor Doom could probably make an neutron bomb with less less than a pound of sugar.
So, what do we have here from Georgia Tech? Drinking, drinking and diving, cussing, child prostitution, possible acts of domestic terrorism...gee I really want my kids (if I had any) to go there. I really don't want to be visiting them in prison.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

UGA has 99 problems, but PeTA ain't one.

Thank you, PeTA. Thank you for giving Americans yet another reason not to feel guilty for that second or third plate of turkey for Thanksgiving. The latest source of PeTA insanity: Asking UGA to replace the recently deceased UGA VII with "an animatronic dog."

The complete e-mail from PeTA, via WGAU:

In the wake of the untimely death of the University of Georgia's (UGA) bulldog mascot, Uga VII, PETA has asked the school's athletic director, Damon M. Evans, to replace the mascot with an animatronic dog--or to rely solely on a costumed mascot--instead of using another real bulldog. Bulldogs are prone to breathing difficulties, hip dysplasia, heart disorders, and other congenital ailments, and acquiring a dog from a breeder perpetuates the animal overpopulation crisis while causing another dog waiting in an animal shelter to be condemned to death.

"It is time for the university to put an end to the cycle of suffering endured by dogs who are brought into the world solely to represent the school's 'brand'," says PETA Assistant Director Kristie Phelps. "By choosing a humane alternative to the use of live animals as school mascots, UGA can show that compassion always wins.

Oh. Child. Please.

Someone needs to tell PeTA UGA already has a costumed mascot to go along with the UGA Dynasty.

(And if weren't for UGA VII's death there would've been a good chance Hairy would've been a [BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT! target this week.)

Needless to say the internet has been abuzz over when an "animatronic" dog would look like. Mark Bradley of the The Atlanta-Journal Constitution gives us what the mad scientists at the North Avenue Trade School Georgia Tech might come up with as UGA VII's replacement. EDSBS gets bonus points for transforming K-9 into a tailgate companion worthy of Jimmy Football. (I wonder if I could get one with a Coca-Cola dispenser instead?)

No word yet from UGA about this foolishness, but this is what most of the Bulldog Nation wishes Damon Evans or Mark Richt would tell PeTA:

(via WGUN,, EDSBS,)

Report: Michigan State players go Sparta on fellow students

Michigan State football players were reportedly among a group of 15-20 individuals involved in an attack on students at a dorm on the Michigan State campus. The attacked occurred Sunday evening according to the police.
Witnesses claim the group was looking for another student who was not present when they arrived. Several male and female students were injured, with one student reported as having to go to the hospital.
It's doubtful that this is the way Mark Dantonio wanted to cap off the Spartans' regular season. No arrests have been reported, but if players are involved it won't look good for a team that went 6-6. It doesn't reflect well on Dantonio's or the institutional control of the program either.

(via EDSBS, Sporting News, The State News)

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT!: Bucky Badger

Badgers? We don't need no steenkin Badgers!
Okay, not that we've gotten the obvious joke out of the way, let's get down to business:
Of all the mascots out there Bucky Badger may be the most surreal. He looks less like a college mascot and more like a character out of Pokemon or Hello Kitty or some sort of other anime or Manga character. No, that's not a good thing. This is Freudian nightmare inducing kind. The kind that wanders into your dreams when you least expect it to provoke the highest level of fear possible. Seriously, this guy gives The Corinthian nightmares.
Bucky has a full name...Buckingham U. Badger. Is there anything worse than a mascot with a full name? It makes something ludicrous and transforms it to something both pompous and ludicrous. Nothing wrong with Buckingham as a name...if it's a last name. I like Lindsey Buckingham. I like "Kind of a Drag" by the Buckinghams. But Buckingham as a first name? Boy, did your parents hate you. That or they're loaded and picked a snotty name to prove it. Either way, you're going to pay for it.
And is it just me, or does Bucky's head remind you of Pink Floyd's The Division Bell album cover?

Same concept. Look at Bucky Badger's head long enough and you'll start seeing something similar.

(apologies as usual to Matthew Gasteier)

Dawgageddon: Georgia waves white flag on black uniforms

Georgia Athletic Director Damon Evans has put the kibosh on alternate uniforms. This after the Dawgs were slammed in a loss to Florida wearing black helmets and black pants.

I know there are times when you try to use uniforms to maybe change the mood of the team and so forth, and that’s been done . . . [with] the blackouts we’ve had in the past,” Evans said. “But . . . I like our traditional uniforms –- the silver britches, the red jerseys, the white jerseys and the red helmets -– and that’s what we need to stick with at the University of Georgia. . . .

Congrats, Evans. Your football program is officially going backward. Sticking with the red and black and ditching alternate unis smacks of a team that is slowly regressing and stuck in the past.
Here's a helpful rule of thumb involving tradition: Tradition is good if it links you to the past. Tradition is bad if it binds you to the past. It means you're more willing to rehash the glory days of the past than to build a future to be proud of. It means not taking risks now because that's not how they did it in the good old days. It means not willing to let go of the dead weight that's holding you back.
Alternate unis aren't what caused Georgia to lose. It's that defense coordinator that Evans and Mark Richt keep propping up. Admit it, Willie Martinez has fewer active brain cells than Kurt Cobain did after he blew his head off. Everybody except Richt can see that.


Tebow's future...coaching?

Tim Tebow's future as a pro is a big question at the moment that will get bigger at time draws closer to the NFL Draft. Now it seems there's already talk of his post-NFL career: coaching. At least that's what Urban Meyer says, according to Tebow.

"He actually always gives me a hard time about that, saying one day how I'm going to be in his seat and coaching here," Tebow said. "I don't know. That's something that intrigues me ... being able to coach them as far as life experiences and football.

It wouldn't be a shock to see Tebow on the sidelines in the near future as Meyer's qb coach, continuing what's possibly the most disturbing player-coach relationship ever.

Andy Hutchins, by the way, has put out a list of the best former player/current coaches . Guess who's number one? Hint: He used to go to Florida.

(via The Sporting Blog, Sporting News)

The Golddomedammerung: When Irish eyes are shinered

The latest on the Jimmy Clausen is that he was sucker-punched by "an irate fan" outside of a bar. Yeah, that sounds better. Reports also claim he was with family members and ND upperclassmen . No word on which family members were there. But if older brothers Casey and Rick its doubtful they could have been of any help. Word is they're both expected to be inducted into Georgia's Ring of Honor next year (they both qb'd for the Vols).

(via ESPN)

The Golddomedammerung: Irish QB fighting in a bar?

WGN reports Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen got in a little bit of a fight at a bar in South Bend in the early morning hours this past Sunday morning. There aren't any police reports of the incident, but sources claim Clausen received a black eye in the fracas. Father Jenkins, the president of Notre Dame is probably not going to be amused of such heathen acts on the Sabbath, especially since it's not the first time Clausen has been in trouble involving adult beverages.

(via Dr. Saturday ,WGN, Chicago Tribune)

Rich Rodriguez Hubris Watch: AD search committee snubs football program

Michigan has put together a search committee to find a replacement for outgoing Athletic Director Bill Martin. The committee members are Wolverine basketball coach John Beilein, Life Sciences Institute Director Liz Barry, Professor Percy Bates, CFO Timothy P. Slottow, and provost Teresa A. Sullivan.
Notice a name missing there? Yep, good 'ol Rich Rodriguez. Not only is he not part of the group but there isn't a single representative of the football program there. Interesting since football is one of the big revenue streams of the athletic department. The football program is being investigated by the NCAA. But you would think someone from the football side of the UM Athletic Department would be still represented. Nice vote of confidence for a coach everybody at UM claims will be back there next year.

(via Detroit Free Press)

Monday, November 23, 2009

Mark Richt Hubris Watch: Glaring stat of the day.

"Mr. College Football" Tony Barnhart gives us this glaring stat about Georgia:

"Georgia has played 11 football games this season and has only recovered one—ONE–fumble. Do you know how hard that is to do?"

One fumble recovery? Do you really need another reason why Willie Martinez needs to be fired? Sadly his departure will be more of a sad dirge than a song of celebration from the once-proud Bulldog Nation. It's going to take years to clean up his mess.

(And as for this "Mr. College Football" business. Does Barnhart get the title on merit or because Chuck Oliver already had the title of"King of College Football" title tied down? Talk about using your delusion.)


The Golddomedammerung: Guess who's not coming to dinner, Domers? Urban Meyer, that's who

The last Golddomedammerung post has barely enough time to dry and this little gem pops up. Urban Meyer says he's not going to leave Florida for Notre Dame. Well, that should close that subject, but it won't.
The sad truth is the Meyer to Notre Dame story is probably never really going to go away. It will pop up every few years while Meyer keeps on being successful at Florida, while ND fires another in a long line of underperforming coaches (at least by the Irish fanbase definition of underperforming).
Meyer has nothing to gain bolting from Florida to Notre Dame. If he did, he tarnish his reputation in an instant. Jumping would drop him to the level of Nick Saban and the other coaches who jump from school to school leaving nothing but scorched earth. What he's done at Florida is remarkable and there's still room for Meyer to do a little more. Not to say Meyer will never go to South Bend, but it will be a year or two after he leaves Florida. Leaving now would be a huge mistake. It looks like Meyer fully gets that. Too bad the delusional Irish fanbase doesn't.


The Golddomedammerung: Replacing Charlie Weis won't be as easy as you think

Dan Wetzel claims that the "Irish can't get it wrong" in the headline for his article on replacing Charlie Weis. Gee, that's never been said before. Wetzel then goes on to discuss coaching choices where absolutely everything could go wrong.
Expecting everything to go peachy in the quest for Weis' successor is pretty unrealistic. Especially if Notre Dame does the foolish thing and tries to go for a big name. Wetzel claims it couldn't hurt to pick talk to Urban Meyer's agent. Yes it would. It's doubtful Meyer's going to start toying with ND (or anybody else) at the edge of fulfilling Tim Tebow's promise of a perfect season. Even thinking Meyer's would want a Les Miles-esque describes delusional in any sense of the word.
As for the other names out there (Brian Kelly, , Jim Harbaugh, etc.) They've had a nice season or two, but are they going to be long term successes on a bigger stage? And do they really want to move to South Bend a.k.a. Delusional Fanbase Central?
Dream of the Endless would frequently ask "What could possibly go wrong?" at the start of his adventures in the Sandman graphic novels. Things usually got out of hand very quickly. Notre Dame and the people who think it will be easy to replace Charlie Weis should remember that.


Sunday, November 22, 2009

Bud Adams invents a new kind of finger.

What does Tennessee Titans' owner have flowing through his veins? Reptile blood? Ice water? Antifreeze? Massengill?
After paying out $250,000 for a couple of middle fingers last week, Adams this week came up with a whole new finger altogether. He placed the following ad in The Buffalo News:

It's this kind of snottish display of wealth that caused the Bolshevik Revolution.
The Buffalo News probably didn't mind the ad money, and they probably they didn't mind using their paper to show what a jerk Bud Adams really is. But this is just a little too much. This kind of snottish behavior from owners is something the NFL really doesn't need. This certainly doesn't help Adams and the Titans' popularity around the country any.

(via The Sporting Blog, ESPN)

Mark Richt Hubris Watch: Looks like Richt needs New Years' plans

Mark Richt can pretty much plan on a quiet New Years at home with the family this year. He's not the type to go hang out with the drunks and stoners watching the Peach Drop in Atlanta (the ultimate in lame, but that's another story), so it's probably for the best to stay at home reflect on what a clusterbomb the 2009 season has been.
Losing to Kentucky has pretty much dashed any possible chances of a December 31 or January 1, 2010 bowl game. Heck, it might have squashed the chances of playing in Shreveport in the Independence Bowl. If might be better for Richt and UGA AD Damon Evens to decline whatever bowl invite comes and to spend the time interviewing new offense defense coordinators. If they're not too busy updating their own resumes and cleaning out their desks by the end of the year.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Golddomedammerung: Connecticut 33 Notre Dame 30

Not quite there yet, but she's warming up.

Ohio State and Michigan

In case you didn't hear Ohio State and Michigan play today.

(Yes, this was an excuse to post this .)

FOX Sports announcers suspended for being mocking Iranian-born NBA player

A couple of FOX Sports Prime Ticket announcers who did play-by-play for the Los Angeles Clippers were suspended from last night's telecast because of comments made about Memphis Grizzlies rookie center Hamed Haddai. Haddai is the first Iranian born player in NBA history. So naturally Ralph Lawler and Mike Smith start making Borat comments and pronouncing Iranian as Eye-ranian (which apparently some viewer found offensive). (Borat was from Kazakhstan, by the way.)
Did I mention Lawler and Smith worked for FOX Sports? Anyone really shocked by this? I sense a Keith Olbermann "Worst Person in the World" nod for these goobers, even if they weren't FOX Sports employees.

(via The Big Lead, Los Angeles Times)

Friday, November 20, 2009

Grateful Dead Monopoly. Please Kill Me Now

Out at the mall today I saw a Deadhead version of Monopoly:

Now I have become Don Henley, Destroyer of Worlds.

NFL future hazy for Tim Tebow

It's probably a good thing that Tim Tebow stayed at Florida for graduate, because NFL Draft gurus aren't too hot on him. The Orlando Sentinel asked ten draft "experts" about Tebow's drafy status for 2010. None of them were quite encouraging. A lackluster performance this season (ableit a to date undefeated one) hasn't helped his chances. The experts say it won't be until events such as the Senior Bowl and the NFL Combine that Tebow's draft statue is more solidified.

(via The Orlando Sentinel)

The Golddomedammerung: Time to put the Paul Johnson rumors to rest

Notre Dame still hasn't fired Charlie Weis yet, but they can mark one name off the list for possible replacements. Paul Johnson has signed an extension with Georgia Tech. Not there was probably even a remote chance of Johnson moving, it provided Jeff Schultz and Mark Bradley of the Atlanta Journal Constitution from speculating about it. It's a one year extension for a contract now ending in 2016, but it pretty much says Johnson won't be switching from the white and gold to gold and navy blue this year.

(via Georgia Tech Official Athletic Website)

Ryan A. Conklin and IAVA

Former MTV Real World: Brooklyn cast member SGT. Ryan A. Conklin tweeted today that he's got 40 days left on his current tour of duty in Iraq. That's good to hear. Meanwhile, here's a clip he made in conjunction with the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America (I believe it was while he was on leave this Summer). Take some time to watch it, and spread the word about IAVA, especially it you know an veteran of Iraq or Afghanistan Vet.

(via IAVAVids YouTube Channel)

Rich Rodriguez Hubris Watch: Mitch Albom's two cents worth

Mitch Albom took time to chime in about Rich Rodriguez. He questions if firing Rich-Rod after two years is a good thing and wonders if creating a "revolving door policy" is a good thing at Michigan. The seriousness of the alleged workout violations is also questioned.
In the end the question for Michigan is going to be if it will be how fast can it get out of the hole Rich-Rod is digging if it lets him stay for another year. Reported problems between Rodriguez Tate Forcier have led to suggestions Forcier might transfer. Self -preservation may be the most important factor in Rodriguez's reign at Michigan.

(via Detroit Free Press)

Clemson's Dabo Swinney rechristens C.J. Spiller "Dos Ocho"


(via The Fayetteville Observer)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

The real Jay Cutler won't talk to NBC, so they should interview a fake one

It looks like Bob Costas is going to need someone outside the Chicago Bears' organization to interview. Jay Cutler, Lovie Smith, and Bears' GM Jerry Angelo have all turned down NBC's requests for on-air interviews the guy that punked Dan Patrick out of all of those Emmys.
If I could be so bold as to give a substitute for Costas to have a sit down with, how about NotJayCutler, the Twitter uh..."personality" that has done a lot to destroy Kissing Suzie Kolber's image of Cutler as a grade A box of kittens? A few (almost SFW) gems of wisdom from the horses read end mouth:

"A kid in a hospital asked me to throw a TD for him on Sunday. WTF, I was just there to get some Valtrex."

"Thank God Jake Delhomme is playing tomorrow night. Nobody will ever mention my five picks again."
"I just dared Josh Beekman to put a huge stack of Pringles in his mouth. I think he's dead."

"Rex Grossman's dad is talking **** about me. Guess I can't blame him for defending his daughter."

"People are saying our season is already over. If that's so, how come Lovie won't let me go to Cancun next week?"

"A stripper pole is so 2005. I'm going to get a mechanical bull in my crib."

"There's far worse things than throwing 5 INT's and getting fined 20K all inside of 24 hours. Like, for one, being Brady Quinn..."

"Dude, it'd be sweet as **** if Affliction did our game jerseys."

(Do you know what's really sad? I really want to see what Affliction-style NFL jerseys would look like. I suck.)

"Nice pass, Orton. Did your sister teach you to throw like that?"

Bob Costas interviewing the fake Jay Cutler would be a whole lot more interesting than him interviewing the real one, I can tell you that.

(via Chicago Sun-Times, Kissing Suzie Kolber , Twitter )

Mark Mangino Hubris Watch: Try blaming this one on his weight

Chances are that Mark Mangino will be coaching at Kansas after this season aren't looking too well. Reports abound of the kinds of verbal abuse Mangino has dropped on his players. Take this little gem, for example:

One story involved former Kansas wide receiver Raymond Brown during preseason practices. Brown's brother had recently been shot and was recovering in St. Louis. When players were asked during a meeting to describe their commitment to the team, Brown stood up and told his teammates and coaches about the incident. Brown said he was trying to get the message across that life was too short to waste. Shortly after in practice, Mangino and Brown got into a confrontation on the practice field.

"Don't yes sir me, or I will send you back to St. Louis so you can get shot with your homies," Brown remembers Mangino saying.

There's not enough fat in Mangino's body that Jason Whitlock can blame this one on. This little tirade can pretty much be pinned to the level of Massengill flowing in his veins.

(via EDSBS,

[BLEEP] YOU, MASCOT!: Smokey (the cosplay version)

What's that, Smokey? You didn't seriously think I wasn't going to get around to going to mock you after I went after that tablecloth wearing mutt did you? Boy, do you have another thing coming!
Frosted orange colored unis. Football players getting arrested for armed robbery. Lane Kiffin and Bruce Pearl seem trying to outdo each other in embarrassing their school...Tennessee is such cornucopia of things to poke fun at, isn't it?
Tennessee must not really love their cosplaying mascot. Obviously not enough to give him a name different from the real life dog. I bet that causes a lot of issues. The dog probably gets more fan mail too. At least UGA differentiates between UGA VII and Hairy Dawg.
Well, I will say Smokey the costumed mascot does have one thing going for him: He looks better wearing a suit than Bruce Pearl does.

(apologies as usual to Matthew Gasteier)

I Smell Lameness: Oregon fans rap about their Ducks

It looked like Oregon's chances of going to the Rose Bowl went up in smoke with the loss to Boise State at the top of the year. How things have changed. It looks like The Ducks are all but officially headed to Pasadena and their fanbase couldn't be happier.
So, how do Oregon fans celebrate such a reversal of fortune? With a rap video, of course.

I Smell Roses @ Yahoo!7 Video

The longer this season goes on , the more I appreciate the GTG's.

(via EDSBS)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

It's official. UGA goes off the deep end.

From Online Athens comes this clip of the Georgia Bulldogs football team jumping off a diving platform.

It seems like the perfect metaphor for this season.

(via Online Athens)

The Golddomedammerung: More Paul Johnson replacing Charlie Weis silliness

Last week The Atlanta-Journal Constitution's Jeff Schultz brought up the possibility (all the while claiming to dispell it) of Georgia Tech's Paul Johnson as a candidate for the Notre Dame head coaching job currently held by Charlie Weis. This week, Schultz's partner in mediocrity Mark Bradley gives the "5 reasons Paul Johnson isn't going to Notre Dame." Reason Number Five: "Notre Dame once hired a coach From Tech." Gee, a narcissistic blogger could have pointed that out. Oh wait...


Jason Whitlock is The Biggest Loser in Criticizing Mark Mangino's Weight.

Jason Whitlock hasn't met a Twinkee he didn't like. But at least he admits it in his column where he blames Kansas Coach Mark Mangino's anger problems on his weight. Still there's a lot of Mangino:Pot Whitlock: Belly going on.
Whitlock's educational and professional background does not appear to include a vast history in the psychological field, but here's a question he should ponder. Are Mark Mangino's weight issues the cause of his mental state, or is his mental state causing his weight issues? Interesting idea there. It's a mental health professional's job to diagnose that, not a journalist.

( KansasCity.Com)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Smokey IX here is a bluetick coonhound. I'd be blue too if I had to go around in public dressed like this. A dog wearing a tablecloth? Seriously? Is that the best Tennessee can do? Look, at least Georgia went out and got UGA his own little football jersey. What's the deal here? Is Tennessee trying to convince Smokey here that he's a racehorse or something? Yeah, he'll do well against Rachel Alexandra I'll bet.
You have to feel bad about Smokey IX. His predecessor, Smokey VIII, got to hang out with Peyton Manning and saw the Vols win a "National Championship". Smokey IX? He gets to hang out with Jonathan Crompton and gets to watch the fallout of Vols players getting arrested. . I'd be blue about that too.

(apologies as usual to Matthew Gasteier)

Rich Rodriguez Hubris Watch: Michael Wilbon says it's over for Rich-Rod

Pardon the Interruption, but Michael Wilbon says that Rich Rodriguez's days at Michigan are about over. His reasoning behind this assertion? A talk with someone "affiliated" with Rich-Rod. Wilbon went on to say this source "played for Rich Rod." No word if this is a current of former player.

(via Detroit Free Press)

Wrong, Terence Moore. The BCS IS messed up.

The headline to Terence Moore's latest Fanhouse column is "Memo to BCS Bashers: Stop Whining." He then precedes to go through the tired old mantra of why the Bowl Championship is working. Here's what Moore doesn't get: it's not.
Sure, whoever Number One and Number Two are at the end of the year will play for the BCS Championship. The problem is with all those other games. It's called the Bowl Championship Series. The purpose of it, as stated on the BCS's website is "to assure a match up between the top two teams — correcting a major flaw in the bowl system — while maintaining and enhancing the traditional bowl system that's nearly 100 years old." It's that last part where the BCS has been getting wrong.
In the past few years the BCS Bowls leading up to America's Favorite Fictional National Championship haven't been really much to call home about. The last huge game was probably the 2007 Fiesta Bowl, where Boise State beat Oklahoma (maybe the Game of the Decade). Other than that the BCS Bowls have been fair to middling.
The Problem is the Bowl Committees are extremely territorial. Most of them have one conference or another pretty much wrapped up every year. And the result are some really lame match ups. Remember in 2008 where Rose Bowl featured with USC and Illinois, and the Sugar Bowl had Georgia facing Hawaii? How many people would have rather seen USC play UGA? Everybody that turned those games off or just plain didn't watch.
There's a reason the BCS Bowls are moving from FOX to ESPN in 2011: the ratings. If Rupert Murdoch had wanted to outbid ESPN he would have. Instead, several BCS Games will be
Maybe a baroque playoff system is too much for ask for at the moment. But could the BCS at least make some movement toward playoffs, however illusionary?
Here's what is needed right now: A guaranteed face-off between the third and fourth place teams in the BCS poll. Put it on in prime time on New Years Day and fans will have a reason to gather around the TV that night.
Moore doesn't seem to see the absolute flaw in the BCS. It provides a Champion (no matter how questionable it can be at times), but it doesn't do a good job at providing a complete package of quality games at the end of the college football season. If it did, it wouldn't be facing a future on basic cable.

(via Fanhouse)

The Golddomedammerung: Stoops to Notre Dame?

There's nothing better in the morning than waking up to a rumor about Notre Dame replacing Charlie Weis. This ones a doozy: Fanhouse reports on a story that Bob Stoops could Oklahoma for Notre Dame. Please Kill Me Now.
Just because 2009 has been an annus horriblis for Stoops and the Sooners it doesn't mean that he's ready to jump ship. Stoops' chances at a BCS title/bowl game in 2010 are better at OU than they ever will be at ND. And as much as Domers want to believe otherwise, it's going to be that way for years to come.

(via Fanhouse)

Monday, November 16, 2009

Rick Rodriguez Hubris Watch:Show us your papers!

An internal audit by the University of Michigan has discovered Rich Rodriguez didn't file papers regarding how much time his players dedicated to football. This after some of his players accused him of violating NCAA time limits for football related training. Oops! Even worse. The audit looked at seven different Wolverine men's and women's sports. Only the football program was lacking in keeping time records. It's not quite a smoking gun, but if UM loses to Ohio State in might be enough for some to call for his job.


It doesn't look like Jon Gruden's going anywhere...for now

If you're a college or pro football fan hoping to find that Chucky wearing a visor and polo shirt in your team's colors you're out of luck. Everybody's favorite ex-Buccaneers coach (at least the one not named Tony Dungy) has inked a long term deal with ESPN to stick with Monday Night Football. Oh well, at least we still have Lane Kiffin to kick around. Then again, the phrase "long term contract" in sports doesn't really mean much anymore, does it?

(via The Sporting Blog)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

End an era: J.T. Bowtie 2009-2009

Sad news to report out of Alabama. Taylor Fortinberry has announced the retirement of his J.T. Bowtie character.

I honestly half expected this to be a load of bull. And I wouldn't be surprised if the Bama-banged, sunglasses wearing fratboy made another appearance. In other words, don't hold your breath that this is the last we see of Mr. Fortinberry's alter.
Still, it does give me an excuse chance to honor the passing of a modern day folk character:

Goodbye J.T Bowtie
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself
While those playing 'Bama crawled
You out of the woodwork
And you yelled into our brains
They set you on the treadmill
And they made you change your name

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a fratboy in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the death threats set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a blogger
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did